Forgiveness?

[MKR&*42]

Yeah, k, I'm not going to mention a name or a story in this because It'd be like my life story :L

Basically, I want to know how I can stop being so forgiving towards people? ;/ It sounds insane but...

I've always had this thing. I find it impossible to hate someone or something - they may annoy me for a short while and I may ignore them, but I really cannot find it in me to hate anything > I'm not capable of disliking something that much :S. The longest I've managed to ignore someone is literally a month - I just give in and forgive them because I forget the past too easily?

Also, in many situations, I end up feeling sorry for the person who has pissed me off. I mean, someone has mocked me 'very harshly' because of issues with my dad and childhood and managed to make me cry (>_>) and I don't even hate them... I actually feel sorry for them if they're upset (ignoring the entire idea of Karma :S)

Anyway - I'm fed up of it now. I literally have not wanted to forgive so many people, but I'm so incapable of doing it ;/ people say it's a "nice quality" to have - but it honestly isn't... it just allows people to think they can walk all over me and expect me to not care/forgive them instantly?

Honest to God can someone tell me how you manage to actually not forgive/hate someone :/

[dbgtz]

If you don't hold grudges, then you don't hold them and there probably isn't much you can do to change that unless you keep self determined and force yourself to be angry with them. I hold grudges very much so and it sucks.

[beth]

you just gotta be stronger, as simple as it sounds (and i know it's not that simple in practise) it's the only way of saying no or preventing yrself from doing something really. just work on yr confidence, and developing yrself into a person you like. those kind of things help you in life.

[Inseriousity.]

I think life's too short to hate people. You can still like someone and not be a pushover or forget past events. It's just learning to be more confident in your gut instinct/reaction to somethingand never wavering from your principles. If you can do that, it's much easier.

[Catzsy]

Well there is a great difference in being 'forgiving' and being walked over. I used to be a bit like this. Probably through a lack of confidence until I learned to say 'no' and mean it if somebody was taking advantage. There is nothing wrong with not hating or forgiving people - saves a lot in peace of mnd rather than carry the baggage of emotional hate within. You are much better off without that.

[Gibs960]

In my case I hold grudges depending on how bad the situation between me and the person was. So if a friend sleeps with your bf/gf then you'd probably hold a grudge for a long time. But if someone snapped your pencil then you might be annoyed for a few days.

Every time you go to speak to the person just remember how they made you feel.

[Stephen]

lol annoyed for a few days cos someone breaks your pencil

I KILL PEOPLE WHO BREAK MY PENCILS

Edited by Chris (Forum Moderator): Please do not make pointless posts!

[Metric1]

fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. I'll forgive people, but I never forget. People may think I've forgotten but I always remember and it's always in the back of my head and I can usually stop it before it happens. Once somebody messes with me they usually get the picture and they don't do it again.