I've read books about space travel and my friend has a telescope but I'm still not an astronaut

I've read books about space travel and my friend has a telescope but I'm still not an astronaut
Ah I understand that, yeah I don't understand why anyone would look down on someone as really they're no different than others with an addiction or something like that. I'll read more latercan completely relate to it becoming addictive because you know whenever you feel sad it will ALWAYS make you feel better so you use any excuse to do it and turn to it every time, it is like an addiction. also i didn't self harm for 6 years but i still had my blade in my jewellery box and on a particularly bad day i found it again and got an adrenaline rush. you start to make the associations, self harm = instant relief and happiness, well maybe happiness isnt the correct word but you at least feel 'okay' again.
its all a control thing, when i'd be unscrewing my sharpener for the blade or cutting around the blade of a razor with the knife, id accidently cut myself. even though they would be the least painful and only leave a little mark, they'd be the worst cuts because you weren't prepared for it, you weren't in control of your pain. + when you cut the deepest and panic, you think that's the last time you'll ever self-harm but its not, you do it again because it IS like an addiction, the relieved feeling you get afterwards is the addiction... but this time you'll be more careful, more in control of it. but it also controls you too because its always in the back of your mind, reminding yourself that all you need to do when you feel bad is pick up the blade. its like your best friend and worst enemy.
"hoping no-one asks but the same time hope they do" and "buying long sleeved shirts, hoodies, bracelets" etc i know the feeling too well. the worst part is when you see people notice and they don't say or do anything. sometimes you see them checking your arms when they're talkin to you and you want to scream out "self harming isn't only done on the wrists" but you dont. you cover it up in embarrassment. self harming isnt just slitting either. when you have a bad day, you get drunk. you self harm your body in order to feel good. that's what self-harming with a blade is too. but still, self-harmers are looked down on. and it makes me so mad that people tell you you're an idiot for it. well, you're a hypocrite. we all do things that make us happy. (not telling people to go out self harm if they feel bad no way as it can become like an addiction, just realize you probably self harm in many ways too.) going shopping, seeing a cute top or dress but not buying it because it will just be covered up by the jumper or shirt you're going to wear to hide your scars..
i feel sick knowing i don't have my 'safety net', my blade, in my room. whenever life gets really bad i need it to be there. and if its not, i replace it with something else. if i dont have a blade in my room, as ive thrown out many thinking i can get through it, then i can simply go to the shop to buy some alcohol. self harmers are no different to anyone else. we've all done something similar to ease pain.
i agree, i wish i never made the first cut. was 13 when i did. didn't do it for 6 years (guess i replaced it with alcohol) until i remembered it would make me feel better, not sure ill ever get over it. such an easy way to get relief..
uhhhh i wrote this cause i like to put into words how i feel about a topic. tis another sense of relief i get. debated on posting it but i will, so you know you're not alone. i know people who look down on self-harmers or would rather not be my friend if they knew. guess we really don't like what we can't understand. also hope they're not stupid enough to air these kind of opinion such as "idiot. attention seeker" in real life because they have no idea whether one of their friends or family self-harm. you really have no idea who does it but its a lot more common than you think. remember if you do say it to someone who self-harms, they'll feel more ashamed than they already do. worst thing for me is knowing my friends know but don't ask me about it or offer help but at the same time, im glad they dont, cause i feel ashamed bout it and wouldnt want to talk about it.. i fear getting caught, why do humans fear others knowing theyre unhappy? fear of talking about our mental states, our sadness, rejection, fears :S id probably stop if someone did know and acknowledged it at least. why should we be made to feel ashamed for wanting to feel a little bit of happiness? i dont see the sense in making someone feel worse than they already do and im very hesitant to admit something like this because people use it against you but never explain why its an insult. so i won't allow myself to be insulted by it. nor should you.
wootzeh, i'd rather be an idiot than a narrow minded fool. you can have your opinion all you like but i really hope you're not stupid enough to say that to anyone irl when you have no idea whether they self harm or not. im gonna guess you haven't been in the situation to understand why someone would do it and how they feel about it. @Samanfa; thats my reasoning for it. im so angry sometimes that i cant express it, i won't throw things and i won't hurt another person for it. id rather hurt myself so i do. way i see it is self-harmers hurt themselves rather than someone else so why are they looked down on so much?.
I'm not attacking people! I felt that you saying that someones opinion was disgusting a little bit far. I also find it quite funny how I'm being told that I am attacking people yet in the reasons boxes for the -rep i'm being called 'Stupid' and 'Ignorant' cause that certainly does wonders for the self esteem doesn't it?You do attack people though. Loads of you do.
People come on here to, what it seems like, find someone weak and throw loads of abuse at them, accuse them of things and more,until they can't take it anymore. And don't say people don't, because you and I both know it happens.
I've learnt through personal experiences about mental illnesses, my mum was diagnosed with depression about 5/6 years ago and after 3 years of aggressive bullying I was close to self harming myself. I found my OWN thoughts of cutting myself stupid because it is a stupid thing to do!uh if you understood self-harm many do it because it releases you from unhappiness/harm in the frst place.
i agree people should never self-harm but it isnt as easy as get a psychiatrist or talk to someone especially when the people you should be able to talk to are the one who've made u feel that way in the first place. its an inner battle with yourself and you control this pain cause u cant control the rest. its not easy for me to explain but yes i get defensive when people are insensitive about it.
back to the point, its an awareness day and a day for support. personally doesnt help me but if it helps anyone else im not gonna be a miserable ******* coming to bring people down by calling it stupid.
I didn't mean you personally attack people, just people in general on this forum. Now imagine what it'd feel like to be called that part in the bold if you also were self harming. It'd be awful, wouldn't it. That's why I think that people thinking you're stupid for doing it is disgusting.I'm not attacking people! I felt that you saying that someones opinion was disgusting a little bit far. I also find it quite funny how I'm being told that I am attacking people yet in the reasons boxes for the -rep i'm being called 'Stupid' and 'Ignorant' cause that certainly does wonders for the self esteem doesn't it?
this is what i keep saying. people assume its slitting your wrists. it isn't. one thing many people want to do when they've had a bad or stressful weekend is to go get drunk with a poison or drugs. they intentionally use something harmful to ease pain, same as slitting yourself, pulling out your hair, scratching yourself or anything else. for some reason its not okay to hurt yourself but its okay to hurt other people (like calling others idiots for hurting themselves) and smash things up or whatever..
also not everyone who self harms has a mental illness nor does everyone with a mental illness self-harm or want to :S. my reasoning for it is cause of anger over an issue i can't actually change that will prob hurt me for rest of my life so excuse me if i get defensive when people tell me im an idiot or there are better ways to deal with it when there is no dealing with it. i already know its not a good thing to do but its not WRONG nor is it easy to stop doing (well if you find somethin that makes you feel better, you'll hold onto that right?) and it gives me relief in any moment i need it. i hope other people find better ways to deal with it and thats what the awareness day should be about, helping each other not degrading others for something u dont know about. so i wont give up trying to teach people that its not as simple as attention seeking or taking easy ways out of your problems.
doesnt matter if you know of someone who has had mental illness or you yourself has it does not mean you understand self harm if you haven't been in that position. even then, everyones situation differs. well whatever. ive already said too much so im done but really, these arent the type of people i want to be friends with or even talk to so.. bye
pigged 25/08/2019
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