do messages count as cheating???

[Sharon]

i personally thought no but my mind has changed since i figured out my newly titled ex has been messaging other girls for like 10 months n there was like 20 of them in total lol... IT IS CHEATING NOW

i used to only see physical as cheating although messages were never acceptable either. but when i told a friend what he did she was like well he didn't actually do anything though? apart from lie to me nearly all of the time we've been together...

i think suggesting doing physical things to girls isn't far off actually doing them n hurts nearly as much but that's me n the way i dealt with it i guess

w b u

[Brad]

I totally agree with this. Relationships are meant to be a one on one basis.
To the extent of the text messages, etc. are that's where the line is drawn for me. I wouldn't want my girlfriend to be planning a hangout with a guy, or something. Unless either;
A) that guy was someone I knew and trusted
B) that guy was her brother/friend prior to us dating

As I see it, if my girlfriend is going to stay true to me, she'll set boundaries herself. Which includes who she texts and what she texts.


P.s- I am so sorry that he did that to you as well.

[Sharon]

yeah by initiating physical i was referring to his messages of asking girls if they have a free house / saying he wishes they were cuddling or w.e his sick mind was up to

throwing away one girl who genuinely cares and loves for you and picking to be a serial **** messaging girls who do not care for his feelings and don't plan on sticking around... AND they're all super ugly with 0 personality

god i'm still bitter

i'd like to add tht they were never deep deep conversations and for about 70% of them they were only literal brief flirty chats but when i added them up etc there was a few girls that the messages were just disgusting and a lot more often where they did insinuate meeting up/wanting to do things. just too much for me to handle and there were pictures flying about too from some girls just NO even if he never went asking was enough

[lawrawrrr]

I dunno, I'm kind of in two minds. Physical cheating is fairly obvious cheating in anyone's book but anything else can be fairly emotional cheating really.

I think it'd depend on the substance of the text really, cos you can pretty much have a full blown affair only over messages or just like flirting. I don't really class flirting as cheating though so yeah. Depends

Sorry to hear about your situation though

[Kyle]

if there is a desire for gratification from lots of other people it generally means the person doesn't take the relationship very seriously. Suggesting doing physical things and being on the lookout for potential hookups is in a different league to what I see as harmless flirting though.


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[buttons]

i wouldn't call it cheating but it is definitely something i would finish a relationship over. sometimes physical cheating is easier to get over than emotional 'cheating'.

[scottish]

I would consider it cheating.

It is emotional cheating, especially if they're exchanging pictures/asking for pictures/asking about free house (which if it went their way would lead to physical cheating).

[Yupt]

Depends on the texts, if they are all flirtatious and emotional then yes ofc i'd consider that cheating, it's having an emotional attachment with someone else when a relationship is meant to be a one to one thing. However talking to other guys as friends I would have no problem with.

I often think this when I see my friends in halls, most of whom are in relationships with people back at their respective homes, get all cuddly with me and other people.

[Kardan]

I dunno, I'm kind of in two minds. Physical cheating is fairly obvious cheating in anyone's book but anything else can be fairly emotional cheating really.

I think it'd depend on the substance of the text really, cos you can pretty much have a full blown affair only over messages or just like flirting. I don't really class flirting as cheating though so yeah. Depends

Sorry to hear about your situation though

You don't class flirting as cheating? Wow. That's a definite no go in my books, so is text messaging in that context.

Why would you need to flirt with someone other than your partner?

[lawrawrrr]

You don't class flirting as cheating? Wow. That's a definite no go in my books, so is text messaging in that context.

Why would you need to flirt with someone other than your partner?

Well people have different definitions of flirting, people have said I'm flirting in the past when I don't think I am, but no I don't really think it does (in that I wouldn't break up with someone over it), because I think it's harmless. Obviously I don't go around shamelessly leading people on or being explicit with them but yeah...

it's just different definitions of flirting IMO. but no, I wouldn't care if my significant other was flirting.