Ruby.

[Embean]

I always love your stories. They're really interesting to read.
More please

[Addie]

I always love your stories. They're really interesting to read.
More please

Lol same with you. I'll do more later.

[Embean]

Lol same with you. I'll do more later.

Lol thanks, and okay.

[Embean]

Lol same with you. I'll do more later.

Lol thanks, and okay.

[Addie]

Chapter Three-

The next week was dreadful. Even though Emmy came around.
''Its for the best Rubbs.'' She said whilst reading Ruby's magazines.
''No its not!'' Ruby said.
''It is. Your parents were un-happy.'' Emmy said.
''I don't care.'' Ruby said.
''Well, You'll be fine. Anyway I have to go. My aunty is comming from California.'' Emmy said. ''Bye.''
''Bye!'' Ruby sighed.
Nothing was the same. Declyn came running through.
''What?'' She asked.
''Mum wants you!'' He said.
''Ok.'' Ruby sighed.
She went downstairs. Joan was sitting in the living room.
''Ruby, Sit down.'' She said.
''What is it?'' Ruby asked.
''Your dad's girlfriend Ashley is pregnant. And they're engaged.'' She said calmy.
Ruby's mouth dropped open. ''ARE YOU SERIOUS!?''
''Hun! Its not our problem. But your dad wants you to think of some names.'' She said.
''WHAT ABOUT... BACKSTABBER OR IHATEYOU! OR WHAT ABOUT STAYAWAY FOR THE STUPID BABY!'' Ruby yelled running into her room.
She lay on her bed and cried into her pillow. Joan came up.
''Declyn go and play with your toys.'' Joan said.
''Wwheen arre they getting married?'' Ruby cried.
''December 6th.'' Joan said.
''MY BIRTHDAY? NO IM NOT GOING!'' Ruby said.
''And tommorow they're comming round for Declyn's birthday.'' She said.
''WELL I WON'T BE HERE!'' Ruby said. ''PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.''
Joan went out and closed her door.
''HOW CAN THEY BE GETTING MARRIED. AND ON MY BIRTHDAY!'' Ruby asked herself.

The next day was Declyn's birthday. November 3rd. Ruby gave him his present. He opened it and hugged Ruby. ''WOW I WANTED THIS!''
Knock-Knock.
''GOODBYE!'' Ruby said going upstairs.
Joan answered the door. ''Hello.''
''Hello.'' Ashley said.
''Come in, Come in.'' Joan said.
She let them into the living room.
''Happy birthday Declyn.'' Ashley said handing him a present.
''Here you go aswell.'' John said handing him a present.
''WOW! AMAZING! A GAMEBOY ADVANCE SP AND GAMES!'' Declyn said hugging them.
''So wheres Ruby?'' John asked.
''Going out.'' Ruby interupted comming downstairs.
''Hey there Rubs,'' John said.
''Don't call me that!'' Ruby said. ''Goodbye I'm going to Emmy's.''
''She seems nice.'' Ashley said.
''Don't get your hopes up.'' Joan said. ''So what do you want to eat?''
''Anything.'' Ashley said.

Please comment.

[mike475]

Oh I so do hate you Habbox some times, why is she banned for!!! I loved that story!

[Addie]

Oh I so do hate you Habbox some times, why is she banned for!!! I loved that story!

Aww thanks. I'll write more laters

[Iggy]

who/wht is ruby

[Addie]

who/wht is ruby

Read It ??

[FlyingJesus]

You've got talent, but I think you need to slow it down a bit. Add some more description, and some tension. The line

''Well, Our marriage is falling apart.And I think we should get a divorce.'' he said.

Just seemed a bit nothing-y to me, too laid-back for someone who's just been caught cheating on his wife. Also, I don't get why the mother seems so inviting to this new girlfriend. If I was married and my wife left me for someone else, I certainly wouldn't be all smiles, asking if they want anything to eat.

Back to the description.. you didn't even mention what the present Ruby gave her brother was. Again, just slow down, add some depth, let things wallow for a while. I can see you have some brilliant ideas, but I'd suggest just writing them down and filling in the spaces rather than rushing through, as that's how it comes across.