What are you?

[Allan]

Allan Allan is a rubber fish! It recharges itself at night!

[issaa.]

Clarissa is a spanner that glows in the dark! It doesn't distract you from your work.

[Achieve]

Han
Han is like a normal first-aid kit, but it's guaranteed to save you a hundred pounds a month.

[Rawr]

Sexual

Sexual is a hole-punch that anticipates your every move, increases your se'x appeal and is slightly hallucinogenic.

[Pawf]

Oliver is a fax machine that stays sharp forever! It comes with its own storage kennel and traps mice in a humane fashion.

Ingenious

[Tash.]

Tash
Tash is a webcam that's covered with realistic fur! It is perfectly safe to use.

Right...

[Kasabian]

Stealth

Stealth is a mattress that vibrates, wears a waistcoat and tie and chirps and whistles.

Tommo

Tommo is a samurai sword that's heavier than it looks! It looks like a pot-plant.

Tom

Tom is a baseball cap that fits into the boot of a car!

Thomas

Thomas is a security camera that rotates at high speed! It is two inches tall.

[Future]

max
max is an answering machine that talks!

[ilovejordan]

Stealth

Stealth is a mattress that vibrates, wears a waistcoat and tie and chirps and whistles.

Sounds good to me.

[kasi]

underOATH is like a normal button-badge, but it speaks randomly-generated sentences.

kassie is a bubble-car that keeps food fresh for up to eight weeks and flashes at intervals.

kassandra is a bracelet that tells you when it's ready!

kaye is a personal organiser that looks like a fish!