Guide to becoming a n00b

[Crimson]

It's the best.. i've been doing it on my level 79 main. lol =P

Its great, try submit it to runehq or summin!

[computer screen]

omg thsi guide is gold i muse sell it on ebay for 500$ like the other nubs that sell getting rich guides
i think because of this guide i ahve become 16% mroe nubyer ty plish

[RareWolf]

Lmao i think im a noob, not like that i mean i dont know alot about the game, i dont act like that tho

[Bejebus]

Lmao i think im a noob, not like that i mean i dont know alot about the game, i dont act like that tho

JonJon is the ulmate n00b he steel brnze arrows rofl

[Slixor]

lol this should be sticked

[Ashley 12344]

Add this.

Always close doors at busy places, such as the Catherby range or Seers spinning wheel.

[[Jay]]

I read half of it couldent be bother to read the rest sounds good lol :p

[SimplyTech]

1. ALWAYS stand on fires, and don't get off until it's burnt out. Pretend you can't hear them screaming "get the hell off the fire n00b!!!".

2. Sell things that don't exist, such as "coal bars".

3. Walk around trying to trade with everyone. If they do trade either a. Decline and then try to trade again or b. Wait for about 10 seconds before saying "free stuff plz". Alternatively, put up a bundle of rubbish and don't tell them what you want for it. The chances are good that your opponent will be very frustrated by this.

4. Not unlike 3., trade with people who are selling expensive items. When the trade screen is open, put up (to the exact amount):
3 buckets
1 tinderbox
34 gold coins
10 body runes

5. Whenever you sell things that are usually bought in notes, such as rune essence and ores, always make sure to sell in item form. If possible, go out of your way to sell something, then put up 1 full inventory of it.

6. The golden rule: Always ask richer people for "free stuff plz", and when you can be bothered, make up ****** excuses like "im poor" and "i got hackd". If you do get something, say "noob" and run away immediately.

7. Call "noob" at anyone you don't like.

8. If you're called a noob yourself, claim to have a "lvl 79 main".

9. NEVER, EVER be polite. Always demand things.

10. Always uphold the belief that YOU alone are the best in the game.

11. Maintain that 1 Tiara is better than 2 Santa hats and 250,000 gold.

12. Never wear all the same type of armour, always have at least 50% of one and 50% of the other. If possible, make sure none of your pieces of armour are the same type.

13. Carry all your best items with you at all times, especially in dangerous areas.

14. Try vainly to form boyfriend/girlfriend relationships with people who have much higher combat levels that you.

15. Make sure to use lame abbreviations that aggrevate intelligent people such as "plz", "pl0x" and "soz".

16. Follow someone around until the logout without ever telling them why. If you feel like it, occasionally ask them for money. Try to blackmail them into giving them free stuff by following them around saying "noob" until they give you some items. Follow the last part of method 6.

17. For better ignorance effect, constantly say things wrong, for instance, say "sord" instead of "sword", and "mony" instead of "money".

18. When naming your noob, be sure to give it your name followed by random numberage, for example: Dave3952982443. Even better imitate a higher level's name, such as Zezima jr 395 or Bubsa9392.

19. Stand in front of a door to a place you can't enter (Guilds are recommended) asking: "Could you open the door plz?".

20. When you see a ranger, go grab his arrows and them try to sell them back to him at 10x their worth. For example, try to sell his bronze arrows to him at 100gp each.

21. If you see someone with a rare item, follow them and repeatedly ask to buy it for any amount less than 50 gold coins. Don't stop until they logout.

22. Use chat effects. Badly.
Example: marquee:freestuffs plz!1!
Example: rwdscroll:whu isn dis worken/.

23. Every 5 minutes, have a break from n00bing it up by relaxing with another 5 minutes of toggling the private chat setting, to spam your friends.

24. Perform scams like a mentally challenged would. Watch out in Varrock Square for a rich looking person. Add them to your Friends list. PM them saying any of the following:
"hi i am mark give me your pass"
"hello im jagex's nephew
if you give me your pw my uncle will put phat on your acc"
Or, in a public area, enthusiastically repeat "wow jagex blocks ur pass look ******* see now you try it!! try it now! it blocks it! look ***! see! see! try it with yours!".

25. When fishing, make poor attempts to pass yourself of as a random event by saying "leave these woods now!" and "dem fishies be mine go away".

26. Go to a bank and start shouting that you need a job. Keep it up until you are offered one, at which point you refuse and claim that the job is boring or something. (ADVANCED) Or, if it's a job that's likely to take a day or more, take the job and PM them saying that you're starting work. Say that you have to leave, but you'll be back on later to work. Put your employer on the ignore list. When you should've completed your job, unignore your employer and tell him you didn't do it because you don't like him, you got cancer in your face, or just plainly because it was boring.

27. Go onto Suggestions forums and request that ridiculous things be added to the game, such as Horses, Light Sabers, Rocket Launchers, A Vending Machine and Aliens.

28. Go onto Market forums and sell things you don't own. While you're there, bid the autowin on a few things you can't afford. If they PM you ingame, arrange to meet up. Follow step 4.

29. Report people for telling you to go away, not giving you their armour or otherwise offending you.

30. Go to Falador East Bank and start selling accounts that don't exist. For example: "selling level 110 account 6k"

31. Get yourself killed by a Mugger, then report him for item scamming.

32. State pointedly that you need something, and expect that everyone will care and provide you with your needs.
Example: "i need free cooked swordfish."
Example: "i need free armer."
Example: "i need lots of money."

33. Don't ever get things for yourself, always beg for them.

34. Hang around fishing spots and follow Step 32. If this doesn't work, which it won't, then collect the burnt fish and try to sell them as "rare black fish".

35. Buy combat levels.

36. If you see find something and don't know what it is, assume it's rare and attempt to sell it for 100,000 gold.

38. When mining, claim a rock as your own. Get mad and threaten to report people who mine the rock that you've claimed.

39. If someone has a pick-pocket victim cornered, attack and kill it.

40. Stand by the gate between Lumbridge and Al Kharid and ask people to give you 10gp so you can get through.

41. Stand in a semi-crowded area and try to buy or sell (especially if you don't have one) untradeable items. When people point out that it's untradeable, insist it is and continue.
42. Argue that anyone over your combat level is sad and has no life.

43. Send trade requests while saying "look" until someone accepts. Put up a charcoal and say "100k". When he declines, say: i need mony plz buy it.

brilliant i just got banned on my lv 3 account for harrasing other players rofl

[Barwy]

lmao, made me laugh!

Its true, theres always someone doing something off that list

[omgabear]

Your getting rep.
Funneh funneh funneh