Bullying

[zombies]

aw guys! really sad to read all your stories. everyone used to call me gay *sigh* and it hurt so much because i'm not and um i dont know how to explain i'm maybe just a bit happy and/or over the top. then my best friend decided to bully me for 2 years straight. just verbal abuse that carried on and on and on. everyone would see what was going on and nobody would help me, the teacher didn't do anything either. then one day i broke down and cried and the teacher knew why except she disguised it about me worried at the exam. the bully knew exactly what it was about. two years later he's always tried talking to me and i've always backed off.

[Empired]

I've never really had bullying problems in the past. Obviously I went through all of the days when you get pushed into a puddle in the playground when you're little or someone steals your hat and won't give it back for an hour or two, but that's not exactly bullying as it wasn't recurring, it was just a couple of one-offs and it happens to everyone at some point.

However recently I've broken up with a group of friends over a silly little thing that I thought would blow over in a few weeks, but that was three months ago now. At the start we just didn't talk, the group of six kind of broke in half and I was with one other person and there were another three who hated us with one stuck in the middle, not wanting to offend either group and it didn't really bother me 'cause I had someone who was my friend who was going through exactly the same thing. Oddly, it was almost exciting whenever I overheard them ******** about us because I could go and tell my friend and we'd ***** about them back, haha. It got worse later on, though, when the other group of girls started getting friendly with my friend again, saying it wasn't her fault and that I was the one who had done everything. She told me all of this and faithfully stayed with me at lunch and break and everything, but I could see that she wanted to be friends with the other group again so I told her I was OK with it and she went back to being friends with them.

Recently it's got a lot harder because it's stopped just being name-calling or whispering and giving dirty looks into other more physical things. Like the night we had the argument, I sent one of them a text apologising immediately after 'cause I'd said some things that were totally untrue just because I was angry and I didn't really want to stop being friends. I never got a reply or anything so I assumed she'd just kicked it aside. Anyway, I found that text posted on Facebook for everyone to see a month or so later, with about 87 comments which I decided it was best not to read.
There are other things too, like this group of girls have gone round telling everyone that I beat them up and that I'm a crazy sociopath who is dangerous to be around. Obviously when I first heard it I just laughed it off, but then when some boys in my class got hold of it it went round the whole school in the space of a lunch break and suddenly nobody would come near me in case they got attacked by me because I'm so unpredictable and evil :/

Nothing serious happened for a while or anything but I was still feeling uncomfortable and so I did try to talk to my form tutor about it last Tuesday but one of them actually came in before I started explaining properly and noticed that I was going to tell on them. Although, like I said, nothing bad had happened for a while, naturally when I was walking home I found an opened yoghurt box (which wasn't mine) had exploded all over in the inside of my bag.

I still feel like I can't tell anyone about it though because, although they're doing all this stuff to me, they were still my friends once and I know how they think and feel and how difficult it would be for them all at home. I know that one of their dads would actually take her away from the school and go mental at her if he ever caught wind of this and I don't want that to happen to her because we used to be so close.

Er, I went into an awful lot of detail there but I guess I'm glad 'cause you're all on the internet so there's nothing you can do. You can't make it worse, tell anyone, or do anything that would have an impact so I suppose it's nice to be able to get it off my chest for the first time. And, hell, congratulations if you're still reading after that essay. I probably bored you to sleep

[dirrty]

i wouldn't really say i was bullied. only the occasional verbal taunt in the past and i've never been in a fight, so nothing to the extent where i feel really uncomfortable, worried for safety, etc. i have bullied though, but i was a complete **** from an early age but obviously changed as i grew older; was mainly joining in with others though (verbally taunting). i do remember in high school (year 9), my now ex-friend wrote a very detailed sex-story about all the girls in our class and it was sent to me by our mutual best friend at the time to read (lol, i know). but i decided to send it to my friend, who i know was good friends with the girls & doesn't keep secrets (so sent it to them & everyone else on msn). the guy got excluded, friendships were ended and everyone hated the original kid with parents coming in wanting him to be expelled. looking back, i suppose that inadvertently counts as bullying, but i never saw it as that when i was younger. i think that's a big issue when it comes to bullying. whether it's obvious or not, bullying will continue to exist for some throughout their lives (from education, to employment). it's not a good thing as lives are, and can be ruined. but it's something which is, and will be very hard to eradicate. i personally think bullying will always exist, since it's embedded within a relationship of power amongst peers.

[Shar]

I've been bullied and always see people being bullied in one way or another. I think being bullied affected me later in life in many ways. Now its just something that was part of my childhood that I try to block out.

[The Don]

Everybody used to pick on this one kid in my primary school and i did take part in it. I do feel bad about joining in and if i could go back i would definitely do things differently but when you're younger it's hard to imagine the consequences your actions can have and what an impact it can make on that persons life. Some of the jokes we made about him stuck with him through secondary school (i didn't participate in it though since i realised how cruel it was) which makes me feel like scum.

Yeah have always been bullied in some shape or form really, and kind of just got used to it. Bullied through primary school for being 'quiet and different', didn't really have any friends like everyone else so I guess people just thought that was something fun to bully someone about haha. Used to stay in at breaktimes and stuff because I would end up just wondering round the playground by myself, whenever I tried to join in or talk to anyone I would just get laughed at.

High school was pretty much the same but I had got used to my own company by then, so often worked on group projects by myself etc. P.E used to be awful, I hated P.E so much, I was rubbish at most things, hated running, people would laugh etc, usual name calling/tripping over etc. Used to walk down the corridor wondering whether the person coming the other direction would trip me over or not so quite often stood still when someone walked past me just in case. Got pushed around quite a bit really, but just got on with it. Got bullied about my weight quite a bit too, as well as my voice, I would say even now my voice gets me bullied quite a bit at work and stuff, even customers like to have a laugh


I would never bully someone, just wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing I had made anyone miserable or unhappy. I used to skip school a little during high school, purely because it didn't seem worth it. I was getting good grades, always did well in tests and in class, but as soon as other people were thrown in it was living hell. I used to like Art a lot at high school and did it for GCSE, unfortunately most of the rest of the class were the rebels who thought art was an easy option to take and they could just doss around, they would quite often 'accidently' spill a glass of water over my work etc. Things like that just stick in your mind. That group also sent me a valentines day card through the post, then had so much fun the next day laughing about it saying how its the only one I will ever have etc. I guess in some respects you just laugh along with them- but some of the things they say can hurt quite badly at the time really.

After getting good GCSE results (A's and B's and a couple of C's), I went to college thinking it would all be completely different, that I would make friends, feel included and not get picked on so much. It wasn't the case, and from the bus journey to just hanging around in the libarary, it was all the same, people laughing, making comments etc. Anyway, that, along with the distance I had to travel to college (an hour to get there), was just too much for me and I decided it wasn't worth going through it for another 2 years, so decided I would drop all the hopes I had of becoming a teacher, going on to uni etc (which I really wanted to do), and 'chickened' out I guess and got a job and got myself a car and stuff. In some respects it paid off, since I do speak to people at work and there are a lot of nice people (and I get to hide away in an office/bakery most the day), but I guess primary and high school did impact on me a lot really, made me even more of a shy and self conscious person, made me be quite independant and used to working on my own and stuff, and generally it just knocked my confidence a lot- I didn't understand why I was so different and why others had it so easy and stuff.

These days things are a lot better, I do feel more confident some of the time, particularly last year when I did things I would never dream of doing, and for the first time in my life was able to talk to someone I consider a good friend, and it was so nice just to not be judged for once, not to be so different from everyone else. Yes- I still get the odd occasion at work where people will make comments which might get to me, but its nowhere near on the scale that it was during school. So yeah, for once the future is looking okay

Why don't you go to college now since you'll be with older and more mature people. It's kind of 'letting them win' if you end up working a remedial job for the rest of your life because you felt you couldn't go to college.

[FlyingJesus]

I've never been bullied by anyone other than myself but have taken part in a lot of bullying in the past. I don't like the phrase "but then I grew up" because I haven't really grown up that much, I just became less ignorant of my effect on people. Some of the things I've said and I done I can't still can't quite get over even now, so I hope whoever they were aimed at is better than me at letting go. Still doing my time for that

Surprised that "I've seen someone being bullied" isn't at 100% unless someone here is blind

[GommeInc]

I don't think I've been bullied. People may of tried, but I got on well with my classmates at school and college, and usually if they tried to offend me I got them back with a remark of some sort I've seen people being bullied or be taken for granted, and gone on to treat the "bully" like the filth they are. I put that down as "I've bullied someone" but it's purely as a reactionary measure to them bullying someone else than doing it because for whatever reason bullies do it for.

[Martin]

Why don't you go to college now since you'll be with older and more mature people. It's kind of 'letting them win' if you end up working a remedial job for the rest of your life because you felt you couldn't go to college.

I do think about it a lot, and hopefully one day I will, but right now I have so many bills and stuff to pay, that I need to keep my job to pay them all! I wish it was as easy as just going to college/uni now etc, but I guess I've chosen the harder route and chickened out and so now I need to face the consequences haha. My car costs me a lot too. Ever since I was really young I dreamed of being a teacher, was always my dream and I even turned my bedroom into a lifelike classroom, complete with a massive whiteboard the school let me have, projector, proper school desks, filing cabinets, draws etc. Made so many lesson plans, was a proper sad child Had all my family up there 'teaching' them, and well yeah I look back and cringe haha.

Would love to achieve that dream some day, its just not the easiest of professions to get into I guess, involves lots of time and money, and I'm kind of stuck in this position now since I have so many outgoings

[GommeInc]

Ever since I was really young I dreamed of being a teacher, was always my dream and I even turned my bedroom into a lifelike classroom, complete with a massive whiteboard the school let me have, projector, proper school desks, filing cabinets, draws etc. Made so many lesson plans, was a proper sad child Had all my family up there 'teaching' them, and well yeah I look back and cringe haha.

Would love to achieve that dream some day, its just not the easiest of professions to get into I guess, involves lots of time and money, and I'm kind of stuck in this position now since I have so many outgoings

Go for it, you might be amazed at how rewarding it would be to go down the teaching route There are loads of different types of routes to take. You can do a Degree in Education or any Degree subject for that matter, (e.g. Child Psychology, Languages, Geography, History, Business - quite literally anything ) and then go on to do a PGCE. If that's you're dream you might as well reach out to it than let it tease you each day

It's hard to go by what to do about the finance aspects of your life as they currently are - like how your Bills are calculated and what you do for housing.

[Absently]

I do think about it a lot, and hopefully one day I will, but right now I have so many bills and stuff to pay, that I need to keep my job to pay them all! I wish it was as easy as just going to college/uni now etc, but I guess I've chosen the harder route and chickened out and so now I need to face the consequences haha. My car costs me a lot too. Ever since I was really young I dreamed of being a teacher, was always my dream and I even turned my bedroom into a lifelike classroom, complete with a massive whiteboard the school let me have, projector, proper school desks, filing cabinets, draws etc. Made so many lesson plans, was a proper sad child Had all my family up there 'teaching' them, and well yeah I look back and cringe haha.

Would love to achieve that dream some day, its just not the easiest of professions to get into I guess, involves lots of time and money, and I'm kind of stuck in this position now since I have so many outgoings

martin, i really do hope you go onto doing that i think you would be fab, especially if you really want to do it!!

btw everyone, thanks for sharing so far.