Domestic Abuse

[Zak]

Advice
Since I fall out of the age bracket, maybe experience is something I can offer in the form of advice. Having suffered what I consider a low/moderate amount of domestic violence the best advice I can give is that nothing lasts forever. Things might seem bad at the time - but they will not always be this way. Just don't let how people have treated you out on others (such as your family). Don't ruin their lives as others may have ruined yours.

Personal Experience
As many people may know I had a miserable upbringing. My dad has been an alcoholic for as long as I can remember. My parents argue ALL the time. I have had items thrown at me, been punched in the face. Kicked in my back. split wooden spatula over my head. Locked outside at 1 in the morning - all probably between the age range of 13-17. If anything long time I have suffered a lot mental.

Domestic abuse of girls or boys more important
All domestic abuse is important esp when they're young. Any real bad abuse should be taken very seriously.

Is it still domestic abuse if its mentally? (and other ways which aren't physical)
Of course. I think it might be the main reason I have low self-esteem and low self-confidence (and why I hid myself away playing games - aren't you glad! ) I was constantly told I wasn't good enough. Nothing I ever did was never good enough for my parents. Now I feel as though nothing I achieve is ever good enough and I'm not good enough for people like my girlfriend despite everyone telling me otherwise. It's like I need constant reassurance.

Boys hitting girls - right?
Certainly not. It's one thing I cannot stand.

Girls hitting boys - right?
No.. but this question is a little open. You could have a 17 year old girl hitting an 8 year old boy which isn't right at all.. but if the two were the same age I don't think the majority of girls could do the same damage a boy could do. So I don't view it as so harsh - but that's just me. There are a lot of factors to take into consideration.

I hope this helps in your campaign. My views haven't changed despite my age.

[ComaDivine]

well, i'm 20 - a little outside your target age range - but hopefully my response helps regardless.

First Name: undisclosed
Age: 20
City (UK only): n/a (outside UK)
Gender: female
Opinion: domestic abuse is a major issue that isn't taken seriously enough - take, for example, the chris brown x rihanna incident. to this day you have people supporting chris brown saying that she "asked for it" and that he shouldn't be judged for what he did. to any reasonably moral person, that should sound like backwards, retrogressive trash - because it is.

domestic abuse is not necessarily solely a physical thing. emotional, sexual and verbal abuse are also forms of domestic abuse that can have horrific and lasting effects on victims. it is important to note that domestic abuse is abuse suffered within a relationship, which can make it all the more devastating as the offender is usually somebody the victim trusts and loves.

i personally have been through three physically/sexually abusive relationships/friendships. the first occurred when i was 13 - my friend and i were dating guys who were 3 or 4 years older than us, and i ended up with a split lip and a broken nose for refusing to sleep with my then-boyfriend. i don't think this incident had as much of an influence on my life or my general perception of humans (especially males) as most would expect. i was young and i did not have much of a connection to my offender, which helped me to detach from it a little.

the things i struggle with a little more: aged 16 - my then best friend and boyfriend (who i am fairly sure was an alcoholic or verging on it) shoving me into a closet door handle and holding my throat while spouting some foul crap in my face for no apparent reason, and being drugged, raped, and thereafter bullied and threatened into silence when i was 17 by a friend of my older brother's who i had also built up a pretty good friendship with. i don't think i will ever truly get over either of these things, but i am proud of myself for making it through them relatively intact.

unfortunately, a lot of other people suffer worse fates than i have. awareness and support is important - everyone should take care to look out for their friends and family and let it be known that they are there if their loved ones need to reach out.

as for the boys hitting girls vs girls hitting boys thing - the main reason there is a stigma surrounding this issue is because men are generally larger and physically stronger than their female counterparts, and thereby more likely to be able to cause physical harm. this does not mean that women cannot be abusive or that women are always weaker than men, but realistically, men are generally known to be able to cause more damage. when it comes to the likes of armed abuse, though, a knife is a knife regardless of who might be wielding it.

[Aiden]

Okay I've started to use these now! If anyone has anything else to contribute then please do! I'm trying to finish my written booklet as fast as possible for error checking and stuff!

+REP to anyone else's valid contribution