I have a real problem with school.

[Lycan]

That's the exact same thing with my friends, if you can call them that. I barely speak to them at all, this is going to sound so sad, I hate even admitting this, but I do nothing ever weekend, every day at school I have no one to walk around with, and yet I know in my mind I'm a good person and I have a good personality, but I can see how people probably look at me and probably what they think, that I'm a loser. The group I sort of hang about with, they hardly make an effort with me, only the one girl does, whenever the rest (who are all boys) see my standing alone they just leave me there. No one ever tries with me, and it has really affected how I see most people, anyone I meet I immediately think is horrible. I never have anyone to talk to these things about, and whenever I tell my mum she's always like oh when you go to the counsillor things will be better. I wish for once she would just say oh but I'm your friend and I'm there for you, but she never does.
I actually really AM all alone, and it's horrible, really, really horrible.
I know what you mean when you say you want them to think you don't care, I do the same, yet if they did it would be even more damaging to me.

Sad it hear all that - Can always talk to me as proven in the past whatever the time of day.

The good news is that it does get better, you'll never get into clubbing like i never did and eventually you're "friends" will go off to other parts of the country or other places and gather new groups of friends leaving you behind. the good news is you'll that friends who you used to get along with and simply lost contact come back and to be honest that's all you need.

[NIKKEE]

Sad it hear all that - Can always talk to me as proven in the past whatever the time of day.

The good news is that it does get better, you'll never get into clubbing like i never did and eventually you're "friends" will go off to other parts of the country or other places and gather new groups of friends leaving you behind. the good news is you'll that friends who you used to get along with and simply lost contact come back and to be honest that's all you need.

I actually want a new start completely, I resent my old friends far too much, I wouldn't want to give them another chance.
But thank-you though, that's nice of you if you mean it.

[Lycan]

as i said i'm always about in some form or another to talk.

[Kyle!]

I'd like to tell you my experiences and because they relate to yours and so on it might help. Basically, my 'friends' started to turn into proper ********s and started saying a lot of **** to one of my best friends, I didn't know what to do at this point so I just joined in, saying **** about him behind his back and so on. I so regret it. Anyway, one day I just told my 'friends' to **** off, I don't want anything to do with you anymore, and me and my best friend just moved to a different group, as it where. Best decision socially I've ever made.

Seriously, if you think your problems are because of the group your with and your friends aren't trying to talk to you or whatever, tell them to **** off. Try to build up your confidence a bit, try and meet some new people etc. And if you have no confidence, fake it. I got through some of my years faking it, and it gradually did build my 'actual' confidence up if you get what I mean?

Another little question that might hurt, because I know certainly hurt me when I got asked this, but it helped me think things through. Do you think you might suffering from a mild sort of depression, coupled with social anxiety disorder? If you do, think about going to the doctors. But only go if YOU think that's what it is, don't let somebody tell you what it is unless they're a qualified doctor.

[NIKKEE]

I'd like to tell you my experiences and because they relate to yours and so on it might help. Basically, my 'friends' started to turn into proper ********s and started saying a lot of **** to one of my best friends, I didn't know what to do at this point so I just joined in, saying **** about him behind his back and so on. I so regret it. Anyway, one day I just told my 'friends' to **** off, I don't want anything to do with you anymore, and me and my best friend just moved to a different group, as it where. Best decision socially I've ever made.

Seriously, if you think your problems are because of the group your with and your friends aren't trying to talk to you or whatever, tell them to **** off. Try to build up your confidence a bit, try and meet some new people etc. And if you have no confidence, fake it. I got through some of my years faking it, and it gradually did build my 'actual' confidence up if you get what I mean?

Another little question that might hurt, because I know certainly hurt me when I got asked this, but it helped me think things through. Do you think you might suffering from a mild sort of depression, coupled with social anxiety disorder? If you do, think about going to the doctors. But only go if YOU think that's what it is, don't let somebody tell you what it is unless they're a qualified doctor.

I've actually moved away from that group, and I mentioned about me and the other girl, well we hardly talk because she is always with her boyfriend, really I'm all alone.
And I KNOW that I'm really depressed, and it's riduculous for someone who is 17. My mum would tell me you really need to stop thinking about it, it's SOOO much harder than that. I was begging my mum to see a counsillor, but she was like it'll be on your medical records forever. We finally went to the doctors a few months ago, and recently my mum said to me you really should have done that ages ago, and I was so angry because she made me feel bad about it. But now it's OK, but I have to wait as there is a 6 month waiting list, so it could be another 3 months or so I've to wait.
It's been this way ever since my mum remarried and we moved away, but I still went to the same school, so I barely saw friends and things went from bad to worse and I gained loads of weight, and really just the worst time of my life and it hasn't improved.

[JACKTARD]

it's probably because of the environment probably and certain people who make it horrible for you. I bet if certain people who you dont get on with were removed or left then you might find it more enjoyable - if you can ever enjoy school

[buttons]

I'd like to tell you my experiences and because they relate to yours and so on it might help. Basically, my 'friends' started to turn into proper ********s and started saying a lot of **** to one of my best friends, I didn't know what to do at this point so I just joined in, saying **** about him behind his back and so on. I so regret it. Anyway, one day I just told my 'friends' to **** off, I don't want anything to do with you anymore, and me and my best friend just moved to a different group, as it where. Best decision socially I've ever made.

Seriously, if you think your problems are because of the group your with and your friends aren't trying to talk to you or whatever, tell them to **** off. Try to build up your confidence a bit, try and meet some new people etc. And if you have no confidence, fake it. I got through some of my years faking it, and it gradually did build my 'actual' confidence up if you get what I mean?

Another little question that might hurt, because I know certainly hurt me when I got asked this, but it helped me think things through. Do you think you might suffering from a mild sort of depression, coupled with social anxiety disorder? If you do, think about going to the doctors. But only go if YOU think that's what it is, don't let somebody tell you what it is unless they're a qualified doctor.

I definitely know what you're talking about with faking confidence It's what I did when we first started college because if you don't you'll end up having no friends at all

you should stick it out (I know you have for years and I only did for half a year but a little more can't hurt?) then when you go to college/uni/get a job you have to MAKE the changes happen instead of just sitting waiting for others to come to you, you need to seem approachable even if you feel like giving the "I don't care" attitude because you won't get anywhere.. leaving school would be a great turning point and a fresh start if you make the effort with new people.

You're same with me, I'd only ever let my true feelings out to my mum and we came closer because of it, she made feel really bad because she was telling me to sort it out myself or stop complaining then I just felt no-one understood but she was right, you have to do it yourself.

[NIKKEE]

I definitely know what you're talking about with faking confidence It's what I did when we first started college because if you don't you'll end up having no friends at all

you should stick it out (I know you have for years and I only did for half a year but a little more can't hurt?) then when you go to college/uni/get a job you have to MAKE the changes happen instead of just sitting waiting for others to come to you, you need to seem approachable even if you feel like giving the "I don't care" attitude because you won't get anywhere.. leaving school would be a great turning point and a fresh start if you make the effort with new people.

You're same with me, I'd only ever let my true feelings out to my mum and we came closer because of it, she made feel really bad because she was telling me to sort it out myself or stop complaining then I just felt no-one understood but she was right, you have to do it yourself.

I know, but right now I feel that I don't want to be friends with anyone at my school cause they've never made the effort. That's why I can't wait for Uni, it really will be a new start because I'll have had counsilling by then and hopefully things will have just changed for the better, right now I have my lovely family and I'd rather spend time with people who give me the time of day than people who pretend to be my friends!

[mk]

NIKKEE

To tell you the honest truth mate, ive got exactly the same problem.

Right a couple of years back the school i loved and i was fine Closed down
because basicly it was a **** hole.
This was in year 9, i first went to another school. The first day i was there it was o.k i knew 50% of people in my year because the school was close to my area
when i got out at 3pm i hated it, i told my mum i couldnt face going back there.
so i had alot of time of school, and the education got me a place into ANOTHER school.. except i went there for around a week and hated that
its weird its like i have a phobia to the whole place
i know alot of people there and the teachers supported me.

in the morning i just couldnt get out of bed i felt so sad and kinda angry i even flipped out and got mad at my family.
i went to see a psychiatrist and they couldnt help me, i took anger management classes and that didnt seem to help either

now i aint going to school, ive got to find a job (like a part-time work placement) other wise my parents are going to get fined

idk whats up with my head or so on
they said it might be the mass amount of people in school
but its not that as i can visit malls with thousands of people and be absolutely fine.
The thing that bugs me is im not going to get any gcse's as ive missed alot of education, they said im a clever boy, i could catch up easily and get decent grades.. but i just cant (my school are trying to make out just because im 'clever' i cant have other things wrong with me... *****)

idk what to do either tbh. i just hate school.

[Nicola]

I've actually moved away from that group, and I mentioned about me and the other girl, well we hardly talk because she is always with her boyfriend, really I'm all alone.
And I KNOW that I'm really depressed, and it's riduculous for someone who is 17. My mum would tell me you really need to stop thinking about it, it's SOOO much harder than that. I was begging my mum to see a counsillor, but she was like it'll be on your medical records forever. We finally went to the doctors a few months ago, and recently my mum said to me you really should have done that ages ago, and I was so angry because she made me feel bad about it. But now it's OK, but I have to wait as there is a 6 month waiting list, so it could be another 3 months or so I've to wait.
It's been this way ever since my mum remarried and we moved away, but I still went to the same school, so I barely saw friends and things went from bad to worse and I gained loads of weight, and really just the worst time of my life and it hasn't improved.

I found that quite weird to read because all of what you've been saying has happend to me, and it all started when my parents got divorced. I started to hate everyone and everything. I would always say no when my friends asked me to go out because I just wasn't in the mood. I always thought that everytime I went out with them they'd be thinking "Oh is she okay, she seems really upset". I didn't want to put a downer on their fun and I hated talking about it because it made me upset. This obviously caused us to drift apart and I started to hate them because they'd stopped ringing me to ask me to go out. I'd then refuse to ring them because I'd somehow convinced myself that they'd given up and lost interest in me.

My parents are fully divorced now but they hate eachother and it's so hard for me - So I still have all these feelings you're experiencing but I'm starting to try and move on now. I'm starting College and I know I've got to move past this. I'm never going to meet anyone new if I just assume that everyone hates me.

I've spoken to the friends I mildly lost contact with and they understand. We still hang out now but I can feel like an outsider to the group because they all seem alot closer. I'm not very open and I often refuse to talk about my feelings - it's something I'm working on and I know it takes time. Even this is a big step to me, I'd never have thought about talking about this on here but when you find people in the same situation it's a lot easier.

Just remember you're not the only person who's feeling this way and hey, look how many people have offered to help you and out and talk about this with you?
That's got to feel good I hope it all works out.