Protective or obsessive?

[GoldenMerc]

Prob just too scared to lose her, as a saying goes theres always more fish in the sea

[Wig44.]

No i've not been cheated on as far as I am aware of, But I have admitted to her from the very start that I have major trust issues, most likely originating from my past as a smaller child. I don't trust anyone with anything, even if a friend said to meet them at the cinema, I would think of all these different possibilities such as, Are they even going to show up? Is it cause they are bored and i'm a last resort? I think of the worst of things. She is aware of it so I think she is giving me some leignancy on the matter, But I know its really getting to her, She has told me it makes her so sad that I don't trust her. Even though I probably trust her more than anyone else in my life, It's still a very small amount of trust. And I think this has caused her to even struggle to trust me.

Yeah I am very scared of losing her, I've never really 'properly' liked a girl in the past, When I went out with them it was for the hell of it really, But I think I really do love this girl, and just I get really worried that she will like another guy over me or something.
I've told her I'm going to give her more space to do her own thing, and that I will trust her. I'm trying really hard to follow through on it, I know she's got a day out with her friends to the beach some day this or next week, Drink will be involved to the extent where I don't think they are even going to attempt to come home, they will be finding the nearest B&B. I guess that will be an test of how much I trust her.

I don't want to have a break from the relationship and I really want to stay with her, We have made so many commitments already, We have booked a holiday to spain next year and everything. Is there anything I can do that will strengthen the trust? Perhaps just ask her if she can lay off drinking from boys for a while, and then slowly move onto that or what?
I think she is ignoring my wishes now anyway, Just yesterday she was out drinking, I asked her not to drink too much, not to get too drunk and to try stay inside with girls. She said she promised she would do all of these things, And the whole night she was telling me she was sticking by them, Until her friend told me she was lying and actually she had drank Alot, Was very drunk, and was outside at a park.
I got so angry and confronted her about it, and she just bluntly said she was sick of me telling her what to do or not to do, and if I don't change it'll be the end of us. I really don't want us to end

Sounds like trust issues stemming from low self-esteem. CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) should work wonders for you.

[Robi]

I have the same problem, my girlfirend turns 18 this week and im terrified of her going clubbing etc .. I just guess you have to let other people life there live.

[Muct]

i'm just saying but what you've described is really like what just happened in coronation street with that ginger kid and the girl in the wheelchair!!!!!!!!!!!

[Zak]

I have the same problem, my girlfirend turns 18 this week and im terrified of her going clubbing etc .. I just guess you have to let other people life there live.

I must say this is when I notice the most change in girls. You'll just have to learn to trust them, my girlfriend gets chatted up all the time. It bothers me, but I trust her in that she wouldn't do anything and our relationship is a lot better that way. Her friends are really down to earth like her, they're really decent people and aren't out to hurt their boyfriends which is even more reassuring.