Make Me Laugh - Ends 20th June

[Sabra]

Habbo Name: Sabra
Joke: Why was the bee's hair sticky?
Answer: Because he used a honey comb

:eusa_doh:

[jinxii]

Habbo Name: Jinxii

Joke:
These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods:

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

[TooClose$]

Habbo name: TooClose

Entry:
A man and woman are driving...

A man and a woman are driving down the same road at the same time.
As they pass each other the woman leans out the window, points and yells, “PIG! ”

The man immediately leans out his window, shakes his fist and shouts back, “WITCH!"

They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he slams into a pig that had wandered into the middle of the road.

If only men would listen.

Just for laughes:

Splish Splash Through the Field

A blond was driving along a country road, listening to the radio. The D.J. was telling blonde jokes one after the other, and she got extremly angry and turned off the radio.

She continued down the road, and in a field she saw another blond in a canoe trying to row across the field. She stopped and got out of the car, and yelled across to the other blond, "It's Blondes like you who make everyone think I'm stupid. If I could swim, I'd come out there and give you a piece of my mind!"

[Haemogloben]

Habbo Name: Treben

Entry 1: Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It drove along the road and turned into a field.



Entry 2: There was a church once where all the nuns were bathing and walking around in the nude.
There came a knock on the door:

"Who is it?" said one nun.

"It's the blind man" said the man outside the door.

The nun discussed it with her companions and decided to let him in since he couldn't see them.

The door opened.
"My god you're all naked! Now, which window do you want the blinds on?"

[doraemonkiller]

HABBO NAME : doraemonkiller

Entry:
I.NEED.HELP.MY.SPACEBAR.IS.BROKEN

[trunks.15]

name: trunks.15

joke: how shal i call ma legless dog?

who cares? iff you calll him he cant come >.<

[rosie387]

wat happens wen u log rosie?

u get her furni and her account perm ban

[kobi626]

Habbo Name: Kobi626
Habbox Name: Kobi

Entry: Once a blonde went to the library to get a book. A few days later, she returns and says to librarian at the counter, "This book was very boring. It had too many characters and too many numbers, so i would like to return it." The librarian says to the other librarian, "So here is the person who took our phone book!" XD

[Snowboarding]

A random guy walks into a bar and drinks the night away. He comes home crawling up the front steps and it just so happens that his wife is standing in the doorway watching him. He says "Hunny I can explain". "Explain what?" she says, "I just wanted to give you a hand up the steps". Surprised that his wife didn't accuse him of drinking he lead on her glady up the steps. At the top of the steps she said "How did you manage to forget your wheelchair?".

If I'm not allowed to have 2 jokes then disqualify me - I don't really mind winning or not :p (Also this joke may affend some people)

A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to buy everyone drinks. The bartender looks shocked and says "Are you sure? That's a couple hundred dollars worth of drinks". The bartender uncaps drinks for everyone and while doing so asks the man "How are you rich enough to afford this? especially for people you don't know."

The man replies "I make stupid bets with people". The man thinks he's a loonatic and carries on his job. After an hour or two of drinking lots of drinks the man stumbles over to the bar and says to the bartender "I'll bet you $1000 dolars (£400) that I can pee in a beer bottle that's on the ground while standing on the table without missing a drop. The bartender laughs at him and shakes his hand signifying the deal. The man gets ontop of the table and pees everywhere all over the bar - everyone except in the bottle. The bartender starts gutting himself in laughter and says "Buddy you owe me $1000!".

The man replies "That doesn't matter, I just bet everyone else here $1000 that I could pee all over your bar and make you laugh while doing it"

[JT-Fan]

Habbo Name:Rupsie
Joke: Sierk: You Know My Girlfriend MissAlice Likes Food....
Rupsie: Yeah.....Whats Her Valentines Day Gift Then!
Sierk: Seeing As She Likes Food I Bought Her A Flower!
Rupsie: A..Asin 1?!
Sierk: Yeah A CauliFLOWER!