Hmmm, anyone feel like this?

[Xoim]

Ok, so before anyone's like oooh you're only looking for attention and all that crap, just leave.


since around year 5 I've been pretty much obsessed with my weight and how I look, it was bad when I was in year 5 to year 7 then past year 7 it got abit better but now, going from year 9 into year 10 it's got a lot worse. I check my weight about 5 times a day, when I get up, before I'm about to go out, when I get back, afetr I eat then before I go to bed.
The only thing I really eat now is dinner because I'm scared of putting on weight.
The obsessive bit came about 2 weeks ago when my dad decided to buy some scales (my mum didn't want scales in the house becasue she knew I'd get obsessed with them). about two weeks ago i weighed about 8.6 (i'm 5'2 so it's not overly fat but not overly skinny). it doesn't seem too good / bad but i'm now 8.1. (My weight that i wanna be is around 7 stone).

Aswell as this, I just feel down all of the time.
I feel as though my friends hate me and the people I talk to just want to get away from me.
it's not by their actions it's just that I've talekd myself so much into the thought that the world wants me dead all the time it pops up.

I used to scratch the inside of my arm until it bled but people began to notice and ask questions so I started doing it on the top of my arm insted.
i don't even know why I do it, it's not with the intention that someone will see it, just a way to get the way I'm feeling out without involving anyone else.
everyone else has wayyy bigger problems then me and I just feel I don't deserve to complain.

So I just wanted to know, has anyone felt like this?
Is it just teenage hormones and will it get better over time?

My feelings have been like this for about a year now.

Thanks.

xox

The bit in bold i what I experienced I still have those days.
I'm currently 7.5-8St I'm obsessed I wouldn't say im fat. I know im not, but I just want to be ... normal or accepted,
So much so That 2 years ago I was borderline Anorexic.
Basically I was so close to not eating full-stop I needed to see a doctor.
But umm yeah this is just my experience...

And about the self harm, I guess I could say it's normal, I know lots off people heck I tried it a few times,

And umm Yeah!
Hope this helped
Sorry if it didn't
x

[Zak]

I never really realised teenage hormones.. but then again i had a girlfriend to take away most of my hormonal behaviour i guess..... lol

It's natural to care about your appearance and most people are unhappy with their appearance. If you feel that bad about your weight take up a sport or something, the more weight you lose you might feel better about yourself. I weight about 10 stone 11 pounds maybe for 6.2 .. and im skinny as, so im sure you wont be that bad

just stay positive about it, and if your worried about the girl sides of things. They should love you for who you are, not what you look like

hope it helped x

[Glen Coco]

Ok, so over the last week it's actually been pretty bad.
I had my injection which didn't help as I wqas getting proper proper stressed.
But now the guy I'm going out with doesn't seem to care at all about how I feel.
I don't expect him to be all like OMG OMG -CARECARECARE-
But i've tried talking to him and he's just like
aww.
or
ok.

and it just makes me feel horrible.
earlier this week he invited me to go cinema today and then yesterday texted me saying
'can't go tomorrow sorry band practice'
I forgot and asked my friend (who's also in the band) if she wanted to go town today and she said she couldn't becasue she was going to her girlfriends.
Then i remebered about the band practice, asked her and she said that it was enevr certain.
so the guy im going out with is now going up town with my friends while I'm stuck being ill.
I texted him asking if he was going with them and he said yeh and that he heard that I was ill.

he didn't even text to see if I was ok today. :|

my other freind asked him how we were and he replied with:

"its ok but shes being moody"

:|
moody!?
becasue I feel like crap and you dont give a damn... yeh.
I've tried talking to my freinds about it but most of them say I'm being stupid and not to do anything I'll regret.
Then another friend says to talk to him.
but i don't know what to say.

URGH.

[ItsDave]

I don't think it helps you to know if anyone else feels like this to be frank. The meer fact that you're trying to see if anyone else is like you shows major signs of insecurity.

I wouldn't listen to comments posted as such that read: "Yeah I have this too" as that will just fill your subconsious into thinking what you're doing is correct, and not harmful, when in matter of fact, this isn't helping you, but turning you into a very confused and depressed lady, because you know deep down that this isn't right, but by seeking information from others, you're very willing to accept this and therefore damaging you.

I hope you read this information and take it on board and don't just read it and go, "pah!". This is very important and a very unhealthy thing for you to do and you need to realise this.

-
Dave

[RandomManJay]

It does seem like you're a little stressed out and with the insecurity with your weight and self harming, maybe you should try talking to someone, not your friends for the reason you said, they just think you're being silly etc. so try phoning Connexions or The Samaritans, they can help out in a lot of ways and could give you advice about what to do (well Connexions can anyways) and where to seek additional help.

I've got the number for The Samaritans here so you can use it if you like. Just to say, it isn't just a suicide hotline, its for anything thats cause people grief or pain (physical and psychology) so anyone can phone up really about their worries and problems. This is the number: 08457 90 90 90.

If life does feel like its getting worse for you, you should seek help as soon as you can, you don't know how worse it will get until its too late.

[Gullable]

i know how you feel hun, seems like your friends dont, i can look in the mirror now + ive stopped thinking about the way i look 24/7 but i still cant take pictures of myself not just yet anyway, maybe you should call a helpline or talk to your parents about it but my mom dont really understand that much either, people have different hormones, i know i aint helped but i needed to get this out too
need someone to talk to then pm me

[Glen Coco]

I don't think it helps you to know if anyone else feels like this to be frank. The meer fact that you're trying to see if anyone else is like you shows major signs of insecurity.

I wouldn't listen to comments posted as such that read: "Yeah I have this too" as that will just fill your subconsious into thinking what you're doing is correct, and not harmful, when in matter of fact, this isn't helping you, but turning you into a very confused and depressed lady, because you know deep down that this isn't right, but by seeking information from others, you're very willing to accept this and therefore damaging you.

I hope you read this information and take it on board and don't just read it and go, "pah!". This is very important and a very unhealthy thing for you to do and you need to realise this.

-
Dave

It does seem like you're a little stressed out and with the insecurity with your weight and self harming, maybe you should try talking to someone, not your friends for the reason you said, they just think you're being silly etc. so try phoning Connexions or The Samaritans, they can help out in a lot of ways and could give you advice about what to do (well Connexions can anyways) and where to seek additional help.

I've got the number for The Samaritans here so you can use it if you like. Just to say, it isn't just a suicide hotline, its for anything thats cause people grief or pain (physical and psychology) so anyone can phone up really about their worries and problems. This is the number: 08457 90 90 90.

If life does feel like its getting worse for you, you should seek help as soon as you can, you don't know how worse it will get until its too late.

To both of the above.
I'm not sure how I actually feel. I don't know if I feel happy or not but I don't feel 'depressed'.
I know many more people in much worse positions than me and if I phoned a helpline it'd be wasteing peoples time. People can tell me 'oh look you have a great life stop being miserable' but I don't know, I just can't help it.
I had a crazy to start scratching my arm yesterday but stopped myself so that'd gotta be good right ?
But the littlest things get to me so much. Like I have a friend who if I make friends with someone, she comes along, and they instantly like her and ditch me and someone told me that they prefer her to me yesterday and it just made me feel really really bad and it proper got into my head and led on to other things.
I need to stop being pathetic but I can't help it.

[ItsDave]

I think my post came a bit late, I didn't realise all of the updates.

It certainly sounds like you have a lot going on and are a very busy person, I think you just need to slow things down. You may not want to but you're obviously very unstable/fragile and so I think the worst thing would be to have a boyfriend at the moment. It doesn't help you from reading your posts and I think it's best you be on your own or you find the perfect guy who actually does like, and the comment about your friends preffering the other girl? Well, no advice there really, that is a really horrible thing to do and I feel really sorry for you, thats kinda... horrible.

When I feel bad and stuff or things stick in my head, like that horrible comment, I know how it feels. Sometimes someones one laugh AT you or that one harsh comment can cut deep and stick in your mind and make you feel terrible. What helps me is eventually I go down to a boiling point. It happens every few months and one night, I'll just start crying, and when crying I write down everything thats going on in my mind, like, everything thats flowing through my head, and that way, you're, well I'm, getting it all out into the open without anyone judging me on it.

I don't know If I could reccommend that for you, I'm just saying thats how I deal with things. Its not pathetic either. Those comments are really harsh and your boyfriend doesn't seem to be all the good'a boyfriend he could be.

I don't know if this has helped or anything just thought I'd post this in relation to your most recent post.

[RandomManJay]

To both of the above.
I'm not sure how I actually feel. I don't know if I feel happy or not but I don't feel 'depressed'.
I know many more people in much worse positions than me and if I phoned a helpline it'd be wasteing peoples time. People can tell me 'oh look you have a great life stop being miserable' but I don't know, I just can't help it.
I had a crazy to start scratching my arm yesterday but stopped myself so that'd gotta be good right ?
But the littlest things get to me so much. Like I have a friend who if I make friends with someone, she comes along, and they instantly like her and ditch me and someone told me that they prefer her to me yesterday and it just made me feel really really bad and it proper got into my head and led on to other things.
I need to stop being pathetic but I can't help it.

Never think that your problems are any less important than others, you may think you're wasting someone elses time, but then again they're offering that time for you to use, and yes there may be other people with much more serious problems than you, but that doesn't change the fact that your own problems are important to you. A lot of people think this way that others just wont care about them cause there are more serious people out there, but the thing is your problems are serious to you, and that's all these people care about. So just ignore what ever you think about others being worse off than you and if you need help, get it, before its too late and you start wishing you had when you had the chance.

Also, from what you've actually said in this post, it seems like you're leading into depression and at this point and from what you've said, it seems to be getting worse, if you have resisted self harming thats good, but who knows if you'll be able to stop the next time. If you can't find a way out of this period, it will get worse and worse until you wont do be able anything anymore because of the grief and sadness you'll carry around with you. So go to your GP or phone the NHS or whatever and see what you can do, the sooner you find help, the sooner things will get better.

[syko2006]

Just remember, there's always someone worse off than you are.

I'm bad at giving advice, but I always like to think I'm putting in some effort to make someone feel better.