The Idiot Test :)

[nets]

The 4th Jule is independence day in America. Do they have a 4th July in England?
Yes.

How many birthdays does the average man have?
One every Year.

Some months have 31 days; how many have 28 days?
All 12.

A woman gives a beggar 50p; the woman is the beggars sister, but the beggar is not the woman's brother. Why not?
She's the woman's sister.

Why can't a man living in America be buried in Canada?
Because he is alive.

Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister? why?
No, as he would be dead.

Two men play 5 games of chess. Each man wins the same number of games and there are no draws. Why?
They didn't play each other?

Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?
70

If there are 3 apples, and you take 2, how many do you have?
2

I have 2 coins that total 55p. One is not a five pence. What are the coins?
A 50 Pence piece and a 5 Pence piece.

If you only have 1 match and you walked into a room where there was an oil burner, a kerosene lamp, and a wood burning stove, which would you light first?
The match.

How far can a dog run into the woods?
Half way.

A farmer had 17 sheep, all but 9 die. How many sheep has he left?
Nine

How many animals of each gender did Moses take onto the ark?
None

A clerk in the butcher shop is 5'10" tall. What does he weigh?
Meat

How many 10p stams are there in a dozen?
12

What was the (England) Prime Minister's name in 1950?
Clement Richard Attlee

A rooster is standing on top of a slanted barn roof. The rooster lays an egg. In which direction does the egg fall?
A rooster cannot lay eggs.

How do you spell blond?
Blond is the correct answer (it could be a name), but I'm assuming your question is flawed and you were actually asking how to spell Blonde.

The owner of a bungalow paints everything white, the walls, the floor, the bathroom, the lounge. What colour does he paint the stairs?
White. Bungalow's can have basements and keep their name, so he could've painted the staircase to his basement white.

There is a pine tree in the forest. The wind is blowing to the west at a rate of 10mph. Which way do the leaves blow?
They have no leafs to blow in any direction.

A plane crashes on the border of the U.S.A and Canada. They crashed exactly on the border. In which country do they bury the survivors?
Neither countries; if they're survivors then you wouldn't bury them.

A high speed electric train is travelling south-east at 90mph. The wind is blowing west at 30mph. In what direction is the smoke from the engine blowing?
Electric trains do not emit smoke.

What do cows drink?
Water

What do you put in a toaster?
Bread.

A man owns a green house, what colour are the walls?
Greenhouse's walls are typically made from glass, so no colour other than the light coming through the glass or reflecting off of it.

[Tash.]

Woop. What did you get saurav ?

[Seatherny]

hmmm natasha, cant remember what I got, did it around 2 weeks ago :p
Erm, you did better than me

btw, Nets you got 25/26

[nets]

btw, Nets you got 25/26

What did I get wrong?

[Seatherny]

What did I get wrong?

Check your PM

[jordybumz!]

1. The 4th Jule is independence day in America. Do they have a 4th July in England? - yes
2. How many birthdays does the average man have? - one
3. Some months have 31 days; how many have 28 days? - twelve
4. A woman gives a beggar 50p; the woman is the beggars sister, but the beggar is not the woman's brother. Why not? - because she's the woman's sister.
5. Why can't a man living in America be buried in Canada? - because he is alive.
6. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister? why? He'd be dead so he couldn't.
7. Two men play 5 games of chess. Each man wins the same number of games and there are no draws. Why? they didn't play each other.
8. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer? 70
9. If there are 3 apples, and you take 2, how many do you have? two
10. I have 2 coins that total 55p. One is not a five pence. What are the coins? 50p and 5p
11. If you only have 1 match and you walked into a room where there was an oil burner, a kerosene lamp, and a wood burning stove, which would you light first? the match
12. How far can a dog run into the woods? Halfway.
13. A farmer had 17 sheep, all but 9 die. How many sheep has he left? nine.
14. How many animals of each gender did Moses take onto the ark? Moses wasn't on the ark, it was Noah.
15. A butcher is 5'10" tall. What does he weigh? Meat.
16. How many 10p stams are there in a dozen? 12
17. What was the (England) Prime Minister's name in 1950? Tony Blair.
18. A rooster is standing on top of a slanted barn roof. The rooster lays an egg. In which direction does the egg fall?
19. How do you spell blond? blonde.
20. The owner of a bungalow paints everything white, the walls, the floor, the bathroom, the lounge. What colour does he paint the stairs? bungalow's don't have stairs.
21. There is a pine tree in the forest. The wind is blowing to the west at a rate of 10mph. Which way do the leaves blow? a pine tree doesnt have leaves.
22. A plane crashes on the border of the U.S.A and Canada. They crashed exactly on the border. In which country do they bury the survivors? the survivors dont need to be buried, theyre still alive.
23. A high speed electric train is travelling south-east at 90mph. The wind is blowing west at 30mph. In what direction is the smoke from the engine blowing? electric trains don't produce smoke.
24. What do cows drink? water.
25. What do you put in a toaster? bread.
26. A man owns a green house, what colour are the walls? whatever colour he has painted them.

[Seatherny]

jordzahhh - 25/26 Well done

[Frodo13.]

The Idiot Test
Have a go ...

ANSWER THE QUESTIONS FIRST BEFORE LOOKING AT OTHER PEOPLES ANSWERS!

1. The 4th Jule is independence day in America. Do they have a 4th July in England?
2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
3. Some months have 31 days; how many have 28 days?
4. A woman gives a beggar 50p; the woman is the beggars sister, but the beggar is not the woman's brother. Why not?
5. Why can't a man living in America be buried in Canada?
6. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister? why?
7. Two men play 5 games of chess. Each man wins the same number of games and there are no draws. Why?
8. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?
9. If there are 3 apples, and you take 2, how many do you have?
10. I have 2 coins that total 55p. One is not a five pence. What are the coins?
11. If you only have 1 match and you walked into a room where there was an oil burner, a kerosene lamp, and a wood burning stove, which would you light first?
12. How far can a dog run into the woods?
13. A farmer had 17 sheep, all but 9 die. How many sheep has he left?
14. How many animals of each gender did Moses take onto the ark?
15. A butcher is 5'10" tall. What does he weigh?
16. How many 10p stams are there in a dozen?
17. What was the (England) Prime Minister's name in 1950?
18. A rooster is standing on top of a slanted barn roof. The rooster lays an egg. In which direction does the egg fall?
19. How do you spell blond?
20. The owner of a bungalow paints everything white, the walls, the floor, the bathroom, the lounge. What colour does he paint the stairs?
21. There is a pine tree in the forest. The wind is blowing to the west at a rate of 10mph. Which way do the leaves blow?
22. A plane crashes on the border of the U.S.A and Canada. They crashed exactly on the border. In which country do they bury the survivors?
23. A high speed electric train is travelling south-east at 90mph. The wind is blowing west at 30mph. In what direction is the smoke from the engine blowing?
24. What do cows drink?
25. What do you put in a toaster?
26. A man owns a green house, what colour are the walls?

1. Yes
2. 1
3. 12
4. Because the begger is a women?
5. Because the man isnt dead
6. No. Because it is no blood releation
7. No Idea
8. 25
9. 1
10. Impossible
11. All of them...use the same match
12. Depends how big the woods are
13. 9
14. 2
15. Uses scales
16. 12
17. Prime Minister
18. Roosters dont lay eggs.
19. blonde
20. you cant paint stairs...you use a carpet or wood flooring
21. west
22. Top half of plane in Canada, bottom half in US
23. Electirc Trains dont give off smoke
24. Water
25. Bread
26. Clear...as the walls are made of glass.

[Seatherny]

Frodo13. - You got 16/26!

[Stitch]

Can i have a link or sumfin to the answers?