The Idiot Test :)

[Frodo13.]

Will someone put all the correct answers down... I want to put this on my site

Also, +rep to Errors, this is extreamly clever

[uh huh her]

2. The 4th Jule is independence day in America. Do they have a 4th July in England? Yes
3. How many birthdays does the average man have? One.
4. Some months have 31 days; how many have 28 days? 12
5. A woman gives a beggar 50p; the woman is the beggars sister, but the beggar is not the woman's brother. Why not? Because the beggars female.
6. Why can't a man living in America be buried in Canada? Hes alive.
7. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister? why? No cos hes dead.
8. Two men play 5 games of chess. Each man wins the same number of games and there are no draws. Why? They never played each other.
9. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer? 70
10. If there are 3 apples, and you take 2, how many do you have? 2
11. I have 2 coins that total 55p. One is not a five pence. What are the coins? 50p + 5p
12. If you only have 1 match and you walked into a room where there was an oil burner, a kerosene lamp, and a wood burning stove, which would you light first? The match lols.
13. How far can a dog run into the woods? Till he gets to the centre.
14. A farmer had 17 sheep, all but 9 die. How many sheep has he left? 9
15. How many animals of each gender did Moses take onto the ark? None, was Noahs ark.
16. A butcher is 5'10" tall. What does he weigh? Meat/Food
17. How many 10p stams are there in a dozen? 12
18. What was England's Prime Minister's name in 1970? Prime minister
19. A rooster is standing on top of a slanted barn roof. The rooster lays an egg. In which direction does the egg fall? Down
20. How do you spell blond? Blond
21. The owner of a bungalow paints everything white, the walls, the floor, the bathroom, the lounge. What colour does he paint the stairs? Its a bungalow, there are no stairs.
22. There is a pine tree in the forest. The wind is blowing to the west at a rate of 10mph. Which way do the leaves blow? Pine trees have pines not leaves.
23. A plane crashes on the border of the U.S.A and Canada. They crashed exactly on the border. In which country do they bury the survivors? They'll be alive so you don't bury them.
24. A high speed electric train is travelling south-east at 90mph. The wind is blowing west at 30mph. In what direction is the smoke from the engine blowing? Electric trains shouldn't make smoke unless its on fire.
25. What do cows drink? Water.
26. What do you put in a toaster? Bread
27. A man owns a green house, what colour are the walls? Greenhouses are transparent, and are made out of glass.

[Virgin Mary]

Anyone can get the answers now, so meh.

[jordybumz!]

The answer to 18 is Tony Blair I'm pretty sure. If it is, I dunno which one I got wrong.

[Frodo13.]

I dont think Tony Blair was born in 1950

[jordybumz!]

I dont think Tony Blair was born in 1950

I'm think he was actually born in 1950.

EDIT: Ok maybe not

[nets]

Tony Blair was born in 1953.

[Nightcrawler]

1. The 4th Jule is independence day in America. Do they have a 4th July in England? No
2. How many birthdays does the average man have? 85
3. Some months have 31 days; how many have 28 days? 1
4. A woman gives a beggar 50p; the woman is the beggars sister, but the beggar is not the woman's brother. Why not? duno
5. Why can't a man living in America be buried in Canada?cuz hes still alive
6. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister? why?duno
7. Two men play 5 games of chess. Each man wins the same number of games and there are no draws. Why?cuz he cheated
8. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?100
9. If there are 3 apples, and you take 2, how many do you have?1
10. I have 2 coins that total 55p. One is not a five pence. What are the coins?50
11. If you only have 1 match and you walked into a room where there was an oil burner, a kerosene lamp, and a wood burning stove, which would you light first?kerosene lamp
12. How far can a dog run into the woods?
13. A farmer had 17 sheep, all but 9 die. How many sheep has he left?8
14. How many animals of each gender did Moses take onto the ark?2
15. A butcher is 5'10" tall. What does he weigh?1000Lbs
16. How many 10p stams are there in a dozen?120
17. What was England's Prime Minister's name in 1970? your muh
18. A rooster is standing on top of a slanted barn roof. The rooster lays an egg. In which direction does the egg fall?down
19. How do you spell blond? Blonde
20. The owner of a bungalow paints everything white, the walls, the floor, the bathroom, the lounge. What colour does he paint the stairs? has no stairs
21. There is a pine tree in the forest. The wind is blowing to the west at a rate of 10mph. Which way do the leaves blow? north
22. A plane crashes on the border of the U.S.A and Canada. They crashed exactly on the border. In which country do they bury the survivors?
23. A high speed electric train is travelling south-east at 90mph. The wind is blowing west at 30mph. In what direction is the smoke from the engine blowing? duno im a ****
24. What do cows drink? water
25. What do you put in a toaster? crumpets
26. A man owns a green house, what colour are the walls? duno i smashed it

[Seatherny]

Thread Closed!
Well done to everyone who tried.

1. The 4th Jule is independence day in America. Do they have a 4th July in England?
   
   Answer - Yes
   
2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
   
   Answer - 1
   
3. Some months have 31 days; how many have 28 days?
   
   Answer - All months have 28 days (12)
   
4. A woman gives a beggar 50p; the woman is the beggars sister, but the beggar is not the woman's brother. Why not?
   
   Answer - The beggar is the woman's sister!
   
5. Why can't a man living in America be buried in Canada?
   
   Answer - Because the man is alive!
   
6. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister? why?
   
   Answer - Well the man's dead so he cant marry her!
   
7. Two men play 5 games of chess. Each man wins the same number of games and there are no draws. Why?
   
   Answer - They didn't play each other!
   
8. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?
   
   Answer - 70
   
9. If there are 3 apples, and you take 2, how many do you have?
   
   Answer - 2
   
10. I have 2 coins that total 55p. One is not a five pence. What are the coins?
    
    Answer - 50p and 5p. If one of the coins isnt 5p, then the other one is.
    
11. If you only have 1 match and you walked into a room where there was an oil burner, a kerosene lamp, and a wood burning stove, which would you light first?
    
    Answer - The match
    
12. How far can a dog run into the woods?
    
    Answer - Half way
    
13. A farmer had 17 sheep, all but 9 die. How many sheep has he left?
    
    Answer - 9
    
14. How many animals of each gender did Moses take onto the ark?
    
    Answer - Moses didnt take them on a ark
    
15. A butcher is 5'10" tall. What does he weigh?
    
    Answer - Meat
    
16. How many 10p stams are there in a dozen?
    
    Answer - 12
    
17. What was England's Prime Minister's name in 1970?
    
    Answer - Tony Blair. He is called Tony Blair now, and I am pretty sure he was called Tony Blair when he was born.
    
    Well done to jordzahhh as he was the only one to get this question correct!
    
18. A rooster is standing on top of a slanted barn roof. The rooster lays an egg. In which direction does the egg fall?
    
    Answer - Roosters dont lay eggs
    
19. How do you spell blond?
    
    Answer - American way is Blond and UK way is Blonde
    
20. The owner of a bungalow paints everything white, the walls, the floor, the bathroom, the lounge. What colour does he paint the stairs?
    
    Answer - Bungalow's dont have stairs
    
21. There is a pine tree in the forest. The wind is blowing to the west at a rate of 10mph. Which way do the leaves blow?
    
    Answer - Pine trees dont have leaves
    
22. A plane crashes on the border of the U.S.A and Canada. They crashed exactly on the border. In which country do they bury the survivors?
    
    Answer - You don't bury survivors
    
23. A high speed electric train is travelling south-east at 90mph. The wind is blowing west at 30mph. In what direction is the smoke from the engine blowing?
    
    Answer - Electric trains dont give off smoke
    
24. What do cows drink?
    
    Answer - Water
    
25. What do you put in a toaster?
    
    Answer - Bread
    
26. A man owns a green house, what colour are the walls?
    
    Answer - Transparent as they are made of glass!

Well Done to Tash., Nets & jordzahhh who got 25/26!