Kaka signs for Manchester City

[Flamedragon3]

He's not at City as his father is currently in tooks with City. I think £500,000 is the right price to pay a week for Kaka to play for City. I mean theres no other way to bring a player of that quality to an average team like ours...

Football has gone nuts and £100m for a single player has gone beyond the point. I suppose though we were always waiting to see who would be the first player City would buy for over £100m. Theres still Casillas, Buffon, David Villa, C. Ronaldo and more that will be probably be coming to us for these ridiculous sums.

400k a week he's meant to be payed? No wonder theres a ******* ressesion when all of these foreigners are coming over and getting that

£500,000 would actually help get rid of the recession? I mean 40% of wages goes to taxes, which is £200,000 in this case.

[J0SH]

Man City :eusa_wall

Grays were about to snap him up :S

You *******

He declined it I heard on the news, so you're in luck. But if he doesn't accept 200k per week and the deal whatever it was, small Essex team will need to top that

[Jack.Lfc]

There not in talks yet, his father is on holiday somewhere and he is flying over next week.

[J0SH]

He needs to hold daddies hand? Aw.

[Geraint]

Man City :eusa_wall

Grays were about to snap him up :S

You *******

gutted, mate.

oh well, there's always ronaldo, hey.

[Jamie!]

I have come across a conversation between Man City Agent and AC Milan superstar Kaka. Unfortunately I only have the dialogue from the City end but I think it is clear for all as to the total content:

READ ON................

The City agent approached the Superstar Kaka....and ...

"Hello, is that Kaka? How do you fancy becoming the supply line to Craig Bellamy and Darius Vassell this winter?

"No, your fellow countryman doesn't like the cold and will be out until mid April - but you will play alongside Stephen Ireland"

"No, Kaka, Ireland is a person not a country"

"Yes, I fully appreciate that he is not Ronaldinho, Pirlo or even Beckham but many fans have him in their fantasy football"

"I know you are currently the richest man in Italy but we can double it!"

"Erm, well, we have had a bit of a slide recently and we are currently 15th"

"Erm, out of 20...... but Mark Hughes once won the double for our neighbours"

"Hughes"

"Ex Blackburn boss"

"Blackburn, Blackburn Rovers"

"No, Blackburn......Black.....Burn"

"HUGHES man, HUGHES!!!"

"He once scored a good goal against Spain"

"No, that's Gerry Armstrong..... anyway, are you coming or not?"

"Usually about two thirds full but if we play a big team its really rocks"

"Yes I know, but we don't even have a car park cos all the fans walk to the ground they are so local"

"Relevance? well, I suppose its all they have to brag about whether its true or not"

"Only the one to be fair but its called 'blue moon' you will love it"

"Blue"

"Yes, definitely blue, always has been"

"No, no, no, they are in Trafford"

"Yes they are, steeped in it in fact but what good is history to you my ambitious friend?"

"Erm, 1976 I think"

"It was the er, the er League cup if memory serves me right"

"Well, the plan was to get in the top 4 this season and then....."

"Yes, I realise that but....."

"Aston Villa? Whats it got to do with them?"

"Yes, I know but we have been down this history route already"

"How the heck does a Brazilian playing in Italy know about Nottingham Forest?"

"Yes, yes, and Leeds United also made a final but you are missing my point, this is all about the future"

"Give me strength......HUGHES!!!!"

"Yes I know he did and he was a legend there but he is a changed man"

"Forget them, they are falling apart"

"But all those trophies were won last year! They have won nothing in 2009"

"I have told you.... 1976!!!!"

"How the heck does a Brazilian playing in Italy know that Virginia Wade has won Wimbledon since then?"

"Yes she probably is in her 60's"

"I don't know, probably about 10 league titles, 2 European cups and countless domestic cups what has that got to do with it?"

"76,000 why?"

"Yes, every game, even minor cups I suppose, but where is this getting us?"

"Yes, the league cup is considered a minor cup over here why?"

"I know, I know, I know, ok perhaps they won the FA Cup in 1970 or something does it really matter?"

"Look, Kaka, we will treble whatever you are on now, buy you a mansion in Alderley Edge and give you a helicopter for your front lawn....are you joining us?"

"NO!, its owned by the council - what has the ground got to do with anything"

"Well, officially its the city of Manchester stadium but most people call it Eastlands"

"EAST!, not Waste"

"You will be adored there"

"No, not there, here I meant"

"No, that's Old Trafford, I meant adored here at Waste....erm, Eastlands"

"Anderson??? what does he know?"

"Ok I hear what you say, but other than Pride, Ambition, Achievement, History, Passion and a large car park - what can they offer you?"

"What do you mean no credit left in your phone.....I phoned you"

"Hello, Mr Kaka,...... Mr Kaka are you there?............................YOU RED *REMOVED*!!!!!"

Edited by Myke (Forum Super Moderator): Please don't avoid the filter.

[Minstrels]

With United desperate to protect their longstanding monopoly on paying over the odds for the best football talent, Alex Ferguson phones the Brazilian Ace Kaka:
......Hello is that Kaka?
......It is, good....right then laddie, I’ll pick you up at the airport.
......What?...Oh yes I bloody will !
......I think you’ll find people do exactly what I tell them to.. just ask any Premiership referee.
......I’m Sir Alex Ferguson, the best Manager of the best club in the World.
......Sour? no I’m a Sir !
......Of course we can afford you.. my uncle Malcolm hikes ticket prices every year.
......Yes the ground’s always full, we direct-debit the fans…yes, even if they don’t want to come to the game !
......So? a few of them ran off to Hyde......they’ll soon be back...because their FC is not famous anymore...Most already came back at the end of last season. Anyway, it doesn’t matter cos there’s plenty more suckers we can take the mickey out of.....ManU are massive, we have 750 million fans and Old Trafford will always be full of glory hunters…...Oh yes it will !
......No, I don’t know much about what happened in English football before the 1990s.
......We are the best in the World…SSN says so, every hour of every day.
......No, that wasn’t a training session you saw in the Manchester Evening News, that was our world famous Fans group the Red Army-MIB, when they were in Stoke.
......What? no, not a former player called Stokes, Stoke the place….anyway if my son wasn’t his agent how do you expect me to know about a footballer called Bobby Stokes? .
......I don’t think so, there’s no way anyone scored the winning goal for a Second Division club in an FA cup final against massive ManU…...have you been at my whiskey?
......What? what’s that about United fans?.....well they are the most passionate and proud in football; they were obviously teaching those Stoke wheely bins about respect.
......What? I don’t know, I didn’t see it……. but I can tell you the wheely bins were definitely the ones to blame....... they were obviously goading our fans.
......I DO know the meaning of the word RESPECT……….. it’s what the English FA and Premier League have to show me and Gilly when we choose the fixtures.
......Kaka, Kaka, are you still there?
......Yes, yes, good........ let’s talk about winning trophies, after all who supports a team that doesn’t win trophies?
......Please don’t mention Man City again.
......What do you mean “Impeccable” ?……….are you talking about Ronaldo’s sense of balance?...Forget him, I want you as his replacement.
......Because he wants to go and play for a better club, one that contributes plenty to their local community…….No, not Real Manchester, Real Madrid !
......Forget Man City!……i’m telling you United are massive, the most mega store massive in the World.
......What?....5 times?....no that’s Liverpool.
......No no no ! ....United are the best club in the World with the best players.
.....Torres? …. er, no he doesn’t....
.....Gerrard? …er no he doesn’t...
.....er, yes that’s Liverpool…again !...
.....33 miles from Manchester.
......Ok ok !.. but they are Scousers and nobody likes Scousers, well except for Rooney because he’s the white Pele and would die for ManU.
......What ?!....no it’s YOU who’s being STUPID ! .....do you really think City will ever win anything ?
......Oh no they won’t ! they won’t, they won’t, they can’t !
......Yes money does buy success……ok you’re right, yes I should know that more than anyone.
......Of course United have still got loads of money, I’m still siphoning plenty err I mean spending it on the very best players, just like Berbatov….oh, er..
......No No No ! that can’t be true……..£800 million in debt……never !
......What ?? City can’t have £15 Billion !!! ...they’ll be the ones able to buy the best players now...arrrggghhhhhhh!!!!!
......Ok ok ok….I’ll stop shouting and will talk slowly and….yes ok in English…but only if you stop going on about City, they’re a little club and they don’t matter !
......Yes I know United fans are always making things up about City, but United fans don’t matter either. Errrr….no, I mean yes, er….of course, er….. I didn’t mean to say….Listen, you’d better not tell anyone I said that or Red Issue will “mob up”, they’ll be circulating song sheets and will behave just like Scousers….. they’ll be doing my house, happy slapping my wheely bins, lying in the drive with their hoodies on and doing that wumming they always brag about.
......Er…I’m not sure what wumming is… I think it’s what wee Lads do when they haven’t got a girlfriend.
......Anyway KK listen, there’s an official ManU script I have to use, so.......I think you’ll find what I really said just now was: United fans are the coolest of the cool; everybody is jealous of ManU Fans and everyonewants to be just like them.
......Hey, hey, what are you laughing at ?....I said why are you laughing ??
......What?..aye, ok you’re right… I’m talking ********, but that’s what most Reds do !
......Humour, no that’s City fans….No No No!…I Sir Alex Ferguson, I am NOT a City fan! .......So what if I just made you laugh !
......United are nothing like City.......United and their Fans take THEMSELVES very seriously…….ALL the time !
......Ok, ok….it’s true…nobody likes United or their fans much, but that’s only because so many of them are arrogant loud mouths who don’t really know much about football and have tantrums when they don’t get their own way.
......What ?!....what do you mean that’s just like me ?
......Hello, hello,………are you still there ?……….please Mr Kaka, please… please don’t go....to City.

[Bun]

I have come across a conversation between Man City Agent and AC Milan superstar Kaka. Unfortunately I only have the dialogue from the City end but I think it is clear for all as to the total content:

READ ON................

The City agent approached the Superstar Kaka....and ...

"Hello, is that Kaka? How do you fancy becoming the supply line to Craig Bellamy and Darius Vassell this winter?

"No, your fellow countryman doesn't like the cold and will be out until mid April - but you will play alongside Stephen Ireland"

"No, Kaka, Ireland is a person not a country"

"Yes, I fully appreciate that he is not Ronaldinho, Pirlo or even Beckham but many fans have him in their fantasy football"

"I know you are currently the richest man in Italy but we can double it!"

"Erm, well, we have had a bit of a slide recently and we are currently 15th"

"Erm, out of 20...... but Mark Hughes once won the double for our neighbours"

"Hughes"

"Ex Blackburn boss"

"Blackburn, Blackburn Rovers"

"No, Blackburn......Black.....Burn"

"HUGHES man, HUGHES!!!"

"He once scored a good goal against Spain"

"No, that's Gerry Armstrong..... anyway, are you coming or not?"

"Usually about two thirds full but if we play a big team its really rocks"

"Yes I know, but we don't even have a car park cos all the fans walk to the ground they are so local"

"Relevance? well, I suppose its all they have to brag about whether its true or not"

"Only the one to be fair but its called 'blue moon' you will love it"

"Blue"

"Yes, definitely blue, always has been"

"No, no, no, they are in Trafford"

"Yes they are, steeped in it in fact but what good is history to you my ambitious friend?"

"Erm, 1976 I think"

"It was the er, the er League cup if memory serves me right"

"Well, the plan was to get in the top 4 this season and then....."

"Yes, I realise that but....."

"Aston Villa? Whats it got to do with them?"

"Yes, I know but we have been down this history route already"

"How the heck does a Brazilian playing in Italy know about Nottingham Forest?"

"Yes, yes, and Leeds United also made a final but you are missing my point, this is all about the future"

"Give me strength......HUGHES!!!!"

"Yes I know he did and he was a legend there but he is a changed man"

"Forget them, they are falling apart"

"But all those trophies were won last year! They have won nothing in 2009"

"I have told you.... 1976!!!!"

"How the heck does a Brazilian playing in Italy know that Virginia Wade has won Wimbledon since then?"

"Yes she probably is in her 60's"

"I don't know, probably about 10 league titles, 2 European cups and countless domestic cups what has that got to do with it?"

"76,000 why?"

"Yes, every game, even minor cups I suppose, but where is this getting us?"

"Yes, the league cup is considered a minor cup over here why?"

"I know, I know, I know, ok perhaps they won the FA Cup in 1970 or something does it really matter?"

"Look, Kaka, we will treble whatever you are on now, buy you a mansion in Alderley Edge and give you a helicopter for your front lawn....are you joining us?"

"NO!, its owned by the council - what has the ground got to do with anything"

"Well, officially its the city of Manchester stadium but most people call it Eastlands"

"EAST!, not Waste"

"You will be adored there"

"No, not there, here I meant"

"No, that's Old Trafford, I meant adored here at Waste....erm, Eastlands"

"Anderson??? what does he know?"

"Ok I hear what you say, but other than Pride, Ambition, Achievement, History, Passion and a large car park - what can they offer you?"

"What do you mean no credit left in your phone.....I phoned you"

"Hello, Mr Kaka,...... Mr Kaka are you there?............................YOU RED *removed*"

okay i lol'd.

[ecstasy]

its ridiculous. £30m is the going rate for a top player.
£100m is just stupid. fifa should come in and do something about it.

[stupidben]

He hasnt signed? LOL