Do Internet Relationships Work? (ENDS 31/07/2011)

[lawrawrrr]

I guess what i said was a bit harsh, though I ment like a habbo relation ship. Sure, people meet on dating sites and get somewhere. Though virtual things are plain stupid.

Thanks oli.

habbo dating rooms etc, OBVIOUSLY they're not real relationships... intrigued to see your thoughts on proper internet relationships then...

[GirlNextDoor15]

That's a bit harsh :S

What about the thousands of people every year who meet on dating websites? If, and only if, one of the parties lies about age/looks/whatever, then yeah, it was a bad idea, but people think this happens SO MUCH MORE than it actually does. I'm not denying it happens, but it's difficult to keep up a lie in this digital age - with webcams, microphones, social networking sites etc. If you never hear or see anything but what the person tells you - then of course you have to doubt their trust, but most of the time you can tell.

They can work.

I think what Felix posted was a bit DRAMATIC. It can be real but it sounds dramatic. They of course cannot lie about their physical appearances (age and looks) but they can lie about their feelings. Saying 'I love you' when they are not really in love with the other side.

[lawrawrrr]

I think what Felix posted was a bit DRAMATIC. It can be real but it sounds dramatic. They of course cannot lie about their physical appearances (age and looks) but they can lie about their feelings. Saying 'I love you' when they are not really in love with the other side.

that's true of any relationship though - not just internet specific... OK it's easier to hide or keep secrets on the internet, but if you seriously feel that way then I don't see why you'd lie. I know from experience that it's difficult to trust someone on the net if that say they love you - and the only way to prove it really is to see irl. Which is why I do agree that relationships PURELY on the internet have a very low success rate.

[Meanies]

If the relationship is purely just on the internet, then no, I don't think it really has any chance of working whatsoever. There needs to be physical contact for a relationship to work properly. However, if the two people involved meet up in real life, then yes there is more of a chance that the relationship will work but there are still a lot of things that can interfere with this. As someone said already, people aren't always the same online as they are offline, they could be lying about age, looks etc, they could have a completely different personality - namely the whole confidence/shyness factor. I'm with someone I met online now and we've been together for 8 months tomorrow. Both of us are relatively shy people, but because we developed such a strong bond online before we met eachother, this didn't really show through, after about the first 5 minutes of awkwardness and realising you were actually with them, it felt like we'd known eachother forever.

Meeting someone online and having a relationship in real life can work, and has worked. My mum met her new partner on a dating site (lol), and I met my girlfriend on this forum (more lol), but my mum has been with him for over 5 years and they're engaged, and I've been with my girlfriend for almost 8 months, so that kind of proves that it can be successful. I know there are examples of it not being successful, no offence to him, but Pyroka is a prime example with his list of online ex's. Maybe meeting someone who lives near you, say within an hour, is a better idea than a completely long distance relationship, but if you both really, really like each other and are both dedicated to making the relationship work, then yes that can also work. I lived in England, my girlfriend in Ireland, and I know they aren't exactly the furthest away from each other, but it's more long distance than being within the same country. We made sure we wanted to meet up, after talking for over year before doing so, and when we did we both felt it was right, and after 3 days we were in a relationship, kinda soon I know but we knew basically everything about eachother already, and if we didn't, we do now. Along with the effort in a long distance thing, it takes money too.. something you wouldn't necessarily have to pay out in a 'local' relationship, but again if you feel it's worth it, then you make that commitment. For me, it was about £100 for a trip from Tuesday to Sunday, which included flights, buses and money to spend. Then there was times I'd get the ferry over, stay longer which would cost more. Having supportive parents in it also helps, both mine and hers supported us both, giving us money, lifts to places etc, made things slightly easier. Judge this how you want, but after 5 months together, I moved to Ireland to be with her constantly and I couldn't have made a better decision. Well ok, maybe I could've found a job before I moved but that's the only thing. I've been living in Ireland for 3 months now, 2 of which we've been living in our own apartment and her parents are doing as much as they can to help us financially, they pay the 400 rent a month until I get a job, give us money randomly, her stepdad has changed the address on some kind of benefit thing so we get money from that every week, he's going to give me a job with 200 euro a week.
I know I've kind of gone off topic and gone into a story about myself, but everything that I've said builds up to making a relationship and how many different factors there are in a long distance relationship over a local one, and it shows that there is a lot there, along with all the stuff I didn't mention, trust, jealousy and things like that also come into it. And I'll leave it there because this is already a million word essay.

[beth]

don't lie, the first time we met you were well shy haha.

says you?!?!?!!?!? shut up! ha.

[Richie]

If it tickles your pickle go for it, don't let people tell you whats right or wrong.

I edated before and in fairness I'm not sure what other people do on the internet but it was just like we were close friends. My only concern with people edating is safety, obviously anyone could put a picture on the internet that isn't them and say it is. I wouldn't recommend it as it's a little pointless and I think people get caught up in the whole thing and start to feel like they need to come on the internet, just like in real life you need to see your girlfriend you can't go a week without speaking to her for no reason and although it's completely different people get lost.

[beth]

If it tickles your pickle go for it, don't let people tell you whats right or wrong.

I edated before and in fairness I'm not sure what other people do on the internet but it was just like we were close friends. My only concern with people edating is safety, obviously anyone could put a picture on the internet that isn't them and say it is. I wouldn't recommend it as it's a little pointless and I think people get caught up in the whole thing and start to feel like they need to come on the internet, just like in real life you need to see your girlfriend you can't go a week without speaking to her for no reason and although it's completely different people get lost.

this is why "e-dating" doesn't really work, meeting someone on the internet and then subsequently meeting them can work however. if yr just "dating" someone online, yr not really dating them. being with someone is 50/50 physical/emotional. if yr just getting the emotional side, you may aswell just have a good friend.

and when i say physical, i don't outright mean sex. i'm talking about physically BEING with someone. like learning their little quirks, the way they stand, the way they talk etc, holding hands, being able to hold a physical conversation with that person.

[GirlNextDoor15]

If it tickles your pickle go for it, don't let people tell you whats right or wrong.

I edated before and in fairness I'm not sure what other people do on the internet but it was just like we were close friends. My only concern with people edating is safety, obviously anyone could put a picture on the internet that isn't them and say it is. I wouldn't recommend it as it's a little pointless and I think people get caught up in the whole thing and start to feel like they need to come on the internet, just like in real life you need to see your girlfriend you can't go a week without speaking to her for no reason and although it's completely different people get lost.

Exactly. Very well said and that is why Internet relationships won't work.

---------- Post added 20-07-2011 at 08:18 PM ----------

this is why "e-dating" doesn't really work, meeting someone on the internet and then subsequently meeting them can work however. if yr just "dating" someone online, yr not really dating them. being with someone is 50/50 physical/emotional. if yr just getting the emotional side, you may aswell just have a good friend.

and when i say physical, i don't outright mean sex. i'm talking about physically BEING with someone. like learning their little quirks, the way they stand, the way they talk etc, holding hands, being able to hold a physical conversation with that person.

Ok. I think I won't agree with you on this. E-dating won't work. If they met each other, it depends on how they really want the relationship to work. It's not that meeting each other will guarantee a good relationship.

In general, a relationship is subdivided into three parts, mainly chemistry, physics and emotions.
1. Chemistry is how they feel about each other when they meet each other. For example, a girl might say that the boy isn't as handsome as he was on the Internet. Then, she might straight away say NO in her heart. So, that means it's not a relationship, more towards a 'one-night-stand' thing.
2. Physics is like you said. How they go along and how well it is. But, I'm going to add some to this. Behaviour is a very important part too. What if the boy is very short-tempered and the girl just can't stand it?
3. Emotions is like what you said too.

[Yupt]

Jumps in da convo xox

I think the title for this question is a little complicated, because dating purely through the internet CAN be done, but isn't great, very VERY few relationships will last without the physical aspect. Meeting someone in the internet and then meeting them irl is a lot different. I know this might not affect all of you, but how many times have you added someone on facebook that you've got to know through a friend and then met them for the first time irl. Does that not count as meeting on the internet? Although, it must be said. I would never want to meet someone irl that I haven't at least spoken to often, seen on cam and heard on Skype/phone. Safety is important! But relationships formed using the internet can work. trust me ;D

[Teabags]

Just reiterating what Pasta said really.
Ofc it's nice to have people to talk to on the internet, but when people become obsessive over it and consider it a genuine relationship - this is slightly peculiar.

Not on a shallow basis of there being no physical benefits, but up until the point of meeting someone you may have no real conception as to who they are as a person.

Simple examples of this would be - it is easier to exaggerate the truth online and make you appear more confident and interesting. Also, irl you can't really just be like brb? it'd make a situation so awkward.