A Touching Poem (IF - With a few changes)

[::=::LIAM::=::]

IF - With a few changes

If you can keep on goin when you're tired,
And all you want to do is have a sleep,
If you can keep your job and not get fired,
And never treat your new car like a jeep;
If you can grant your brother all forgiveness
Even though he has angered you so mutch,
If you can shield your friends from harmful business,
Even though you're in some, just a touch:

If you can resolve a fight without violence,
When all around are rolling up their sleeves,
If you can turn away from forced on silence,
And help to open other mouths, it leaves;
If you can achieve your goal with bad weather
When God is turned the other way from you,
Yours truely is the world, the world forever,
And which is more you'll be a good friend too!

BY ::=::LIAM::=::
(Writen in the style of IF, By Rudyard Kipling)

I wrote this poem in English, Plz let me know what you think!

[Surname]

It's good, but that's just like the original with a few alterations...
Try and come up with your own poem, without using anyone else's
4/10

[misspartyqueen]

aww nice poem liam :D

[::=::LIAM::=::]

It's good, but that's just like the original with a few alterations...
Try and come up with your own poem, without using anyone else's
4/10

lmao cheek that was the task to make your own poem from the original duhhh.
And it aint too much like the original, the only simularities are:
it's got the same rymin scheme
and same syllibals in the lines e.g. 11, 10, 11, 10

I rate u -5 /10 that was cheeky and hurtful, i suggest u try makin your own poem that has to fit in with sum1 elses method >:(

Never mess with Dr.Scouse or i'll egg ya house lmao

[::=::LIAM::=::]

aww nice poem liam :D

Aww thanks Scouse babe

[Cypher-]

I like it :D well done liam! keep them coming shakespeare in the making!

[::=::LIAM::=::]

I like it :D well done liam! keep them coming shakespeare in the making!

Lol tar Neil

[misspartyqueen]

I like it :D well done liam! keep them coming shakespeare in the making!


i agree

liam if you think the poem good then it good ;) :D

scouse babe

[::=::LIAM::=::]

i agree

liam if you think the poem good then it good ;) :D

scouse babe

aww ty *blushes* i aint that gd at poetry

*hands Scouse Babe a trophie*

[::=::LIAM::=::]

Hey guys where's the rep lamo jk

Liverpool!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[misspartyqueen]

i except the trophie ^D^

[::=::LIAM::=::]

i except the trophie ^D^

lmao that'll be £28.99 plz

[Surname]

lmao cheek that was the task to make your own poem from the original duhhh.
And it aint too much like the original, the only simularities are:
it's got the same rymin scheme
and same syllibals in the lines e.g. 11, 10, 11, 10

I rate u -5 /10 that was cheeky and hurtful, i suggest u try makin your own poem that has to fit in with sum1 elses method >:(

Never mess with Dr.Scouse or i'll egg ya house lmao

If you make poems to only get good comments, then you wont go anywhere. It's called Constructive Criticism. The fact you say "It's not too muchb like the original, the only simularities are: it's got the same rymin (Maybe you should learn to spell) scheme
and same syllibals (-Cough-) in the lines" is just silly because that just makes it the original. All you have really done is found rhyming words... Wow.. :$

You suggesting that I make a poem using someone else's method is also silly, because I do not copy other people's ideas, I use my own.

[::=::LIAM::=::]

POEM ROCKS!!!!!!

IM GOING TO SHOW IT TO MY TEACHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SEE CEREMONY U R JUST A PERSON WITH A PROBLEM. THE TASK WAS TO MAKE YOUR OWN POEM USING RUDYARD KIPLING'S METHOD. (FULL STOP) THIS MEANS IT WASN'T VERY EASY (TO ME ANAYWAY).

SO WHAT EVA U R ON ABOUT, I DIDN'T JUST WAKE UP AND SAY "OHHH THINK I'LL WRITE A POEM, MMMM AND I THINK I'LL GET THE POEM "IF" AND CHANGE THE WORDS AND PASS IT OFF AS MY OWN WOW AREN'T I A GD POEM WRITER... I'M SO BOSS I THINK I'LL POST IT ON HABBOX FORUM SO PPL CAN ADMIRE ME WHOOOH.

U R SO SAD *SHAKES HEAD* I THINK U SHOULD GET SOME MANNERS AND GROW UP. JUST COZ U'D DO THAT DOESN'T MEAN OTHER WILL.

I SEEN OTHER POEMS ON HABBOX SO I THOUGHT I'D POST MINE, TO SEE WHAT PPL THINK. OH NO, BUT I DIDN'T ANTICIPATE SOME STUPID PERSON "CEREMONY" WOULD POST SOME RUDE AND STUPID COMMENT.

MAYBE U SHOULD GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT BEFORE U START MOANIN.
THE WHOLE IDEA OF THIS POEM WAS THTA IT HAD TO BE CREATED IN THE STYLE OF "IF" SO OBVIOUSLY IT IS GOING TO BE LIKE THE ORIGINAL ISN'T IT DUHH.

AND PICKING UP OTHER PPLS SPELLING MISTAKES IS JUST DAMN RIGHT STUPID AND RUDE. MAYBE YOU SHOULD LEARN SOME MANNERS AND THINK THINGS THROUGH BEFORE U POST RUDE COMENTS INSTEAD OF LOOKING THROUGH OTHE RPPLS POSTS WITH A FINE TOOTH COMB LOOKIGN FOR ERRORS. I'D HATE TO BE YOUR M8

NEVER DISS DR.SCOUSE OR I'LL EGG YA HOUSE :)