View Full Version : Poem give mah a rep if u like
Motorollo
13-06-2005, 09:32 PM
Blood racing thru his body and his veins
he knew it was wrong but he did it anyway
now it is over and he dosent know what to do
should he lie to everyone or just tell the truth
if u like it give me a rep
Angster
14-06-2005, 12:15 AM
I like the way you pulled off the rhyming, however most of the lines are bland, cliché and basic. Maybe add more detail, which in return would build up suspense to make the poem more interesting.
Surname
14-06-2005, 04:55 PM
It doesn't sound like a poem to me, it sounds like a part of a story.. :S
Pulchritudinous
14-06-2005, 04:57 PM
It's not very good, but you could easily make it better cause I guess it's got potential.
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