{Poem} {insert name here} (2)

[!star--girl!]

Here is another poem :)


I love him,
He don't loves me,
What can i do?
Why don't he see,
What's inside me,
Let me say those little words
that are hard to speak,
I want to give a kiss on hes cheek,
Please help me, someone,
So my job could be done.

[Krypsis]

Very Cool ••☺♣☻♠○◘•♦♣ Weird Signs :S

[!star--girl!]

Thx :) (no ?/10) :(

[Krypsis]

9/10 :D lol

[!star--girl!]

:d mwhuahaha

[Ferccia]

Wow, thats really deep.
Its a great poem!! :)
Wd =]

[!star--girl!]

thanks :)

[hedgeog325]

great poem

9/10

[Angster]

Sorry to be brutal but..

You tried too hard to make the words rhyme that you made it sound totally boring, bland, and cliché. Not to mention, lack of grammar doesn't help the poem's structure either. Not that it had one from the beginning, anyways.

I don't think it's even worthy of an "out of ten" rating.

[!star--girl!]

Ok, now your being rude!

[kasi]

Ok, now your being rude!

It's not rude it's critizim or however you spell it. He's being honest. If you can't take critizim, don't post your work because I bet at least one thing isn't going to be perfect or 10/10.

[Angster]

Ok, now your being rude!
No I wasn't. I was giving you constructive criticism. If you can't handle negative comments, then don't post your poems. Did it occur to you that not everyone is going to like them?

I'm not going to butter up my opinion just so you can say "OMG THX LOL!".. No, it doesn't work that way. It's a forum. We post opinions. You can't just say "thanks" to all the good comments, and totally disregard the negative ones.

Grow up please.

Edit; Whoaa, looks like FrozenIllusion got to the point before I did..

[Pulchritudinous]

You need to sort out the grammer, the word don't isn't suitable, it needs to be more exciting, the rhymes are predictable and you havn't really used any techniques. 5/10.

[Krypsis]

Actually I re-read it and FrozenIllusion and Angster are right, it isn't all that good and the grammar is poor. Keep trey improving, its still ok i spose

[!star--girl!]

No I wasn't. I was giving you constructive criticism. If you can't handle negative comments, then don't post your poems. Did it occur to you that not everyone is going to like them?

I'm not going to butter up my opinion just so you can say "OMG THX LOL!".. No, it doesn't work that way. It's a forum. We post opinions. You can't just say "thanks" to all the good comments, and totally disregard the negative ones.

Grow up please.

Edit; Whoaa, looks like FrozenIllusion got to the point before I did..

Grow up? Why?

[Angster]

Grow up? Why?
Are you serious? Did you not read my post?

Think about it. I know thinking may be hard for you.. But try.

You tell me I'm rude because I don't like your poem? Seriously, how thick can you be? You produce a poem lacking grammar, content, descriptive words - basically anything that an actual poem needs to sound somewhat good, then complain when someone doesn't like it? Pathetic.

I'll say it again - If you can't handle criticism, don't post your poems.

[!star--girl!]

i know that now, but this line:


Think about it. I know thinking may be hard for you.. But try.

IS rude

[Angster]

i know that now, but this line:



IS rude
I didn't make that until after the fact. It may be rude, but it's honest. That was a dumb question. And congrats for bringing your own thread off topic because you can't handle certain opinions.

[!star--girl!]

thanks :@

[-=rooty987=-]

Star, be prepared, opinions are valid, they all count, and all mean alot. Just because some people, including me don't like you're poem, does not mean they are being rude. Stop being immature and childish, you'll never make it with that attitude...