View Full Version : A big! Problem! (+REPPPP!)
Javascrypt
18-02-2009, 10:41 PM
Okay, so im constipated. Dont laugh because this is serious, i havent been to the bathroom for about a week and a half now. I suddenly need it really bad and then i go to the toilet, try to do my stuff but im constipated. The feces is as hard as stone and its huge, it wont come out. It is bigger than my anus and its 10:30 at night. I have taken 2 laxative tablets and i took a visit to the bathroom a couple of minutes ago. My body is providing some sort of liquid - maybe trying to help it get out? anyway. My body is trying to force it out and i am in a immense amount of pain right now! I need some advice, the pain is unreal and when i try to force it, the liquid only comes out.
What shall i do?
Will the laxatives break the feces up?
I NEED HELP! NOW!
Alkaz
18-02-2009, 10:44 PM
Give it time to work, if not then it will come out in the end. When it does, cut down on the junk and eat more fibre foods and fruit and veg which really help to keep you regular! Branflakes, or something like shredded wheat in the morning should be sufficent if you dont go OTT with junk food to keep you regular atleast once a day.
Javascrypt
18-02-2009, 10:46 PM
Give it time to work, if not then it will come out in the end. When it does, cut down on the junk and eat more fibre foods and fruit and veg which really help to keep you regular! Branflakes, or something like shredded wheat in the morning should be sufficent if you dont go OTT with junk food to keep you regular atleast once a day.
What can i do to top the pain atm?
Fifteen
18-02-2009, 10:46 PM
get a rubber glove and pull it out
Alkaz
18-02-2009, 10:47 PM
Dont really know, your body is trying to get it out after being in there for such a long time. Give the laxitives time to work and hopefully it should break it down, thats alot of work to do after a week and a half of build up and it going hard.
^ - Really a last resort but would have to go to doctors, if he cant push it out his hole then I doubt he could get his hand up there.
Disaronno
18-02-2009, 10:48 PM
Urm, you could take some nerofen?
Also, im being 100% serious - Run a warm bath, sit it in, and **** in it
Alkaz
18-02-2009, 10:50 PM
Or maybe sit in a warm bath and then sit on the toilet when you are ready to push...
Disaronno
18-02-2009, 10:53 PM
Or maybe sit in a warm bath and then sit on the toilet when you are ready to push...
I was thinking the water is always there and would maybe act as a lube for it rather than that happenning and when he gets on the bog for there to be no lube :S
I would goto the Doctor and get it checked out.
Javascrypt
18-02-2009, 10:57 PM
Or maybe sit in a warm bath and then sit on the toilet when you are ready to push...
I forgot to mention i done that erlier. I have took 2 painkillers. I cant use a rubberglove and when i tried that bath method i couldnt do it. I can only do it on the toilet.
Disaronno
18-02-2009, 11:02 PM
I forgot to mention i done that erlier. I have took 2 painkillers. I cant use a rubberglove and when i tried that bath method i couldnt do it. I can only do it on the toilet.
Hmm, maybe lube your bum and then use a glove. Is this getting too sexual. No joking. Seriously try lube. And maybe, however, very very embarrasing, ask your mum to heave
Javascrypt
19-02-2009, 05:03 AM
Okay thanks to everyone for the advice. I am fine now, i just waited for the laxative for help and my body done the rest. Too bad its 4.00am in the morning and i cant get back to sleep! Anyway! +Rep!
Even though its done, how were you typing on a computer?
Did you have a laptop on your lap while you were on the toilet or what?
Javascrypt
19-02-2009, 07:42 AM
Even though its done, how were you typing on a computer?
Did you have a laptop on your lap while you were on the toilet or what?
No, i was in my room. I seriously wouldnt take my laptop in the bathroom.
glad to hear you solved your problem.
Kightly
19-02-2009, 08:54 AM
It must of felt like you just came out of labour!
Alkaz
19-02-2009, 02:41 PM
Good job its out now :) Remember to eat more fibreous foods and less fatty junk.
Captain
19-02-2009, 02:46 PM
We're going to need pictures.
Disaronno
19-02-2009, 03:09 PM
We're going to need pictures.
Thats a bit to over the top
Captain
19-02-2009, 03:38 PM
*REMOVED*
Edited by MattGarner (Forum Super Moderator): Please do not be rude towards other members.
buttons
19-02-2009, 03:41 PM
No, i was in my room. I seriously wouldnt take my laptop in the bathroom.
you went toilet in ur bedroom?
Disaronno
19-02-2009, 03:44 PM
*REMOVED*
Wow. you watch wrestling and you still use "your mum" insults. Cool
Anyway, on topic, well done lol
Captain
19-02-2009, 04:00 PM
I was obviously joking, has Habbo took away your sense of humour aswell as your life?
Edited by Garion (Forum Moderator): Please do not be rude toward other forum members, thanks :).
Deffinately go to the doctor.
Disaronno
21-02-2009, 07:39 PM
I was obviously joking, has Habbo took away your sense of humour aswell as your life?
Edited by Garion (Forum Moderator): Please do not be rude toward other forum members, thanks :).
No, but it has taken your grammar.
have you had alot of gum or something?
cos it sounds as if you have a touch of the old 'lacsitive effects'
+o(
That would probably work but yar lol
fruit & veg
cereal
should help.
Water too.
Captain
22-02-2009, 04:47 PM
Wow. you watch wrestling and you still use "your mum" insults. Cool
Anyway, on topic, well done lol
Seems like it has taken your grammar in this post also.
Disaronno
22-02-2009, 07:08 PM
Seems like it has taken your grammar in this post also.
Lol, i missed one captial but you're post didn't even make sense.
But anyway, im not going to carry on this small argument, because it really is pointless, by all means carry it on but you will be arguing with your self.
Captain
24-02-2009, 12:33 AM
*Removed*
Edited by ,Jess, (Forum Super Moderator); Please do not insult others.
I Think you need more fiber in your diet.
Buy some whole brown wheat bread and stuff it will make you wanna poop
get a rubber glove and pull it out
I laughed :rolleyes:
Just give it time, hot baths are good for the pain, my brother had it once.
William93
25-02-2009, 05:58 PM
True story: I was constipated once; really hanging half out of my ass but impossible to pull out. Took a bath, made the water all brown, so I would never recommend that.
My advice is to go in the shower, turn the shower head onto high pressure, pull a one hand goatse and aim the shower head into your ass. Will come out in little bits, but it might block the drain so you'll have to unblock it.
Middlesbrough
02-03-2009, 07:35 PM
Wow i must admit there has been some amusing posts ^_^
Javascrypt
02-03-2009, 07:41 PM
Wow i must admit there has been some amusing posts ^_^
Indeed.
Twist
02-03-2009, 07:45 PM
Bigger than your anus? Good god.
Just go to the doctors, might be wierd but has to be done in these circumstances.
Javascrypt
02-03-2009, 07:51 PM
xD I was watching some feces involved XXX and i saw the ultimate soloution.
Get my gf to eat it out.
Will she agree though.
:)
Crimson
02-03-2009, 07:51 PM
http://i173.photobucket.com/albums/w55/digression/fullZZZZZZPRW061020202421PIC.jpg
Tried any tablets or anything?
Captain
03-03-2009, 01:19 AM
God this forum is full of freaks.
Laggings
03-03-2009, 01:39 AM
I'm glad you had the balls to use yourself as an example to your statement.
On Topic: This was a wonderful thread. I laughed so hard I think I crapped myself. Just re-read some of the posts if this happens again.
Javascrypt
03-03-2009, 03:57 PM
I did it fo tha lulz!
Middlesbrough
05-03-2009, 11:22 PM
I did it fo tha lulz!
Dont lie, i pulled it out with a rubber glove.
Memmish
09-03-2009, 12:50 AM
the rubber glove and bath comments were absolutely hilarious, i am glad your ordeal is over, well done.
Sarah
09-03-2009, 01:15 AM
I'm glad you had the balls to use yourself as an example to your statement.
On Topic: This was a wonderful thread. I laughed so hard I think I crapped myself. Just re-read some of the posts if this happens again.
no pun intended i hope.
but seriously I've never laughed so much at some of the things people have said to do.
but your rep is now ruined and you will always be known as the person who couldn't take a poo.
Javascrypt
14-03-2009, 10:10 PM
no pun intended i hope.
but seriously I've never laughed so much at some of the things people have said to do.
but your rep is now ruined and you will always be known as the person who couldn't take a poo.
This was fake. ¬¬ Wow. That was some hilarious shiz.
btw. Your all saved. it isnt so much my rep killed but yours saying you *removed* in the bath until it turned brown. K. thnx. bi.
Edited by Cyndia (Forum Moderator): Please don't avoid the filter.
Niall!
14-03-2009, 10:49 PM
I laughed :rolleyes:
Just give it time, hot baths are good for the pain, my brother had it once.
Not really a joke, some people have to do it alot because of things like this.
Friend had it, hurt him like **** apparently, blood and all.
Glad your not constipated anymore.
Javascrypt
16-03-2009, 10:25 PM
Glad your not constipated anymore.
... I never was...
Describe
17-03-2009, 12:37 AM
shame you didn't have kleanPREP like i do.
it's a highly powerful medical laxitive, tastes like death.
Not really a joke, some people have to do it alot because of things like this.
Friend had it, hurt him like **** apparently, blood and all.
lovely :rolleyes:
anyway not really funny to post a fake thread lol...
mortimus2
17-03-2009, 01:37 PM
Go to a doctor
or
put your hand up there and pull it out
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