Abuse in relationships?

[Becca]

I've seen the advert for Abuse In Relationships and I think it's kind of stupid. Who wouldn't stand for this? I don't think you would stand there and take what him/her is saying. In my case, if a boy was doing that to me I'd probably punch them in the face or something.

What would you do? :S

Thread moved by Nicola (Forum Moderator) from 'Discuss Anything'

[Seatherny]

Its on the radio all the time in Manchester. I think a lot of people do get abused by their partners - not necessarily bf/gf.

[Special]

I've never been in a abusive relationship but i've heard of stories of people who have.

It's easy for us to say 'Yeah why don't you just walk away it's not hard' but in reality it is very hard

Think about it - if it was that easy, would the government really spend millions of pounds on an advert?

[Suspective]

It is a problem, and happens on a regular basis.

I wouldn't advise you punch them in the face though.

[GoldenMerc]

Uhm, yeh i thought the same a few years ago when people said oh dont stand for it ect... But learning from past experiance one of my mates (whos female) her bf is proper horrible to her, yet she takes it. Shes not allowed any lads to contact her, text her anything, if he finds out he thinks shes cheating and goes mad about it. Shes stupid though i spoke to her last night and said just end it (its been 8 months and he proposed to her last month and she said yes :S) and she was like i cant cos my parents know him too well and stuff :/ its so horrible hes a proper moron.

[Catzsy]

I've seen the advert for Abuse In Relationships and I think it's kind of stupid. Who wouldn't stand for this? I don't think you would stand there and take what him/her is saying. In my case, if a boy was doing that to me I'd probably punch them in the face or something.

What would you do? :S

Thread moved by Nicola (Forum Moderator) from 'Discuss Anything'

Because that's exactly the reason. He punches you, you punches back and then where does it end? Quite honestly I am sure just as many girls abuse boys as the other way round. The main reason though is that some girls/boys are not as confident and their partners capitilise upon this to control them by way of abuse be it verbal or physical or emotional. I think the purpose of the advert is to start educating the young people so that the amount of domestic violence may go down in years to come.

[buttons]

cause they "love" them
some people really believe it's their fault it's happening and that they're actually lucky to have their partner or that they'll change.
like my brother and his girlfriend constantly argue and according to her he's beat her up (wouldn't put it behind them but they're as bad as each other). first thing i said to her was "why don't you end it then:S", some people are too scared to but she says it's because she loves him so meh.


thinking of it, my bf is agressive (not to me..... so far:rolleyes:) and if he hit me i couldn't see myself breaking up with him even though i know i should...

[Gibs960]

If you've heard an abusive relationship then you'd know one and you feel really small and stupid and they make you not want to leave, my dad made my mum feel like that.

[Seatherny]

cause they "love" them
some people really believe it's their fault it's happening and that they're actually lucky to have their partner or that they'll change.
like my brother and his girlfriend constantly argue and according to her he's beat her up (wouldn't put it behind them but they're as bad as each other). first thing i said to her was "why don't you end it then:S", some people are too scared to but she says it's because she loves him so meh.


thinking of it, my bf is agressive (not to me..... so far:rolleyes:) and if he hit me i couldn't see myself breaking up with him even though i know i should...

You have a bf? :( Damn.

I dont understand how people take physical abuse. I would feel so uncomfortable around the person.

[Tash.]

It's not common sense really, it's all very easy to say "oh dump them" but when you're emotionally involved with someone it's not that simple. No matter who tells you otherwise you aren't going to want to simply cut out a person from your life who you love and depend on, even if they aren't nice to you in any way.

[Catzsy]

You have a bf? :( Damn.

I dont understand how people take physical abuse. I would feel so uncomfortable around the person.

You would feel uncomfortable? Imagine how they would feel. :P

[Seatherny]

You would feel uncomfortable? Imagine how they would feel. :P

Knowing that I had hit the person, I would feel guilty all the time. How can the girl still love the person knowing how violent they are is weird.

[Tash.]

Knowing that I had hit the person, I would feel guilty all the time. How can the girl still love the person knowing how violent they are is weird.

It's not always men being violent to women though, it works both ways. Sometimes men are reluctant to break it off with violent women. It's hard to admit that something needs to end and that you have to let go of someone you love.

[Sharon]

It's not as easy as ''Oh you punched me it's over'' - I'd assume that after they hitted you they were VERY apologetic and it's not easy so yeah it's an issue thats not easy to solve so thats why the gov has spend a lot on adverts.

[Becca]

Because that's exactly the reason. He punches you, you punches back and then where does it end? Quite honestly I am sure just as many girls abuse boys as the other way round. The main reason though is that some girls/boys are not as confident and their partners capitilise upon this to control them by way of abuse be it verbal or physical or emotional. I think the purpose of the advert is to start educating the young people so that the amount of domestic violence may go down in years to come.

You do have a point. I was just thinking giving a kind of attitude. But yes, it would probably leave to a lot of violence.

[MrGazet]

Yes,I don't really get but then I've never been in an abusive relationship.

Well,my dad hit my mum and they are divorced now for good but I understand it's not really that easy to chuck people out our life when they abuse you.

Simply,I think people take abuses because they love their partner too much and they feel so weak and powerless that they couldn't walk away from that abusive relationship

[N-Dubz]

It's never easy to walk away from a relationship, because when you think you love someone you tend to believe what they tell you. It's like when somebody cheats on you, and they say they'll never do it again, you could believe it ... When someone says they wont hit you again/ control you again, why wouldn't you believe this either? The advert is aimed mainly at young people, who are naive about this sort of abuse. When you're just hitting early adult, sometimes you think it's just 'you' exaggerating. Abusers in relationships are normally very manipulating, and it's easy to say you could just walk away but it's never as easy as that, and you can't really comment on it till you've been through it.

[Pyroka]

I've been in a abusive relationship before, tbh it was both of us being abusive to eachother. Amazed how it lasted so long, guess its like what everyones been saying in this thread, it's hard to break away even if they are abusive and make you feel ****. I've never punched a girl whilst going out with them though, but my patience got pushed to the limit once (and seriously, I'm a saint when it comes to putting up with people). I'm amazed that nobody on the forum has been in an abusive relationship... but then you only realise after you've broken with them that something was up.