[+rep] Asking this girl out...

[Conservative,]

Ok so I really like this girl...

we've known each other for 10 years, but haven't seen each other properly for the past 3 years, and haven't talked more than a few brief convos on facebook...

I've liked her for about 5 years, and I did get the courage to ask her out, but she said she didn't want to for a few reasons:

We were too young (I think we were barely 13)
She thought it would ruin our friendship
She thought it would be a bit weird because we were close friends

Anyway, I kinda want to ask her out again, just to see what she says. I'll be 15 in a few months, so I might wait till then, but I'd like some advice on how to ask her...like where, when, how ect. Addressing the problems she brought up last time, so how I could explain that I'd never want to lose her as a friend even if it didn't work and all of that...

I don't live that close to her so I can't go round her house, I was thinking about waiting for her after school one day?

Anyway, +rep to good/helpful comments... :D

[Deak]

Try to talk to her more often, have a laugh, ask her if she wants to go out sometime.
Regarding meeting up with her the best thing to do is tell her that you are going to meet her after school as she may take it the wrong way... she may like it or she may find it weird...

Good luck on getting your girl :)

[Callum.]

How can you like someone without properly meeting up, talking etc. You just think you do, or it's beauty.

[Conservative,]

Try to talk to her more often, have a laugh, ask her if she wants to go out sometime.
Regarding meeting up with her the best thing to do is tell her that you are going to meet her after school as she may take it the wrong way... she may like it or she may find it weird...

Good luck on getting your girl :)

Ok thanks :)

I will try to talk to her - I lost her mobile when I got a new phone, and now apparently she's changed it. I'll have to try and get it.

And tbh, meeting up with her after school, I'd probably have to like say if she wanted to go to the park or something, because I don't know if she'd take it the wrong way x]

Anyway, thanks :D +rep (if I can LOL).

@Callum, I've seen her a few times in the last couple of years on the way to school or shopping or something, and she is by no means the most beautiful girl in the world, yes she's nice, but I like her because we're relatively close, and she has a nice personality.

[cocaine]

you're in the friend zone! advice: move on!

[Conservative,]

you're in the friend zone! advice: move on!

Don't get it?

[cocaine]

"we've known each other for 10 years"
"She thought it would be a bit weird because we were close friends"
"I'd never want to lose her as a friend even if it didn't work and all of that"

you've been estalished as a friend for too long for her to consider you as more, and in the case she does decide you could be more feelings of awkwardness or uneasiness could occur due to your 'friendship' taking a new level

[FlyingJesus]

As much as I don't believe in the friend zone (only like 2 of my conquests weren't friends beforehand) in this case I don't think it'll end well. You can have all the confidence in the world and a girl who doesn't want to be with you like that still won't take the bait - even if the bait is huge, believe me.

If you absolutely must go ahead with it, your best bet is not to ask at all but just make a move. I was told a couple of years back that if I kept telling people to get their crushes/sisters/teachers drunk and sleep with them I'd get in trouble, but frankly the amount of terrible decisions I've seen women make when they've had a raspberry sambucca spritzer or three makes my advice invaluable, and it really is the best way.

[Special]

before you ask her out i think it would be wise to get to know her.. 3 years is a pretty long time even with small meet ups & convos

see how that goes, you never knwo your feelings might have changed after all

[Conservative,]

+rep to All tomorrow.

I agree I'd need to properly meet up with her first. When I last asked her out she said she would reconsider if I asked her when we were older. If I wait until after Xmas it will have been roughly 2 years and i suppose that is a fair time.

But I Think cocaine what you're gettin at is what she was trying to say. It probably would be awkward certainly to start. Id like to try though because as I've said I've likes her for 5 years and I think I'll regret it later in life if I don't ask.

[Samantha]

I don't think it would be a good idea. No offence but you are still young at 14/15, I didn't even want my first boyfriend until the actual age of 13, then eventually got one at 14, but I did honestly realise that I wasn't ready; I was a late developer and now I know I would like one at 16; I've matured over the years.

Take it this way Robbie, me and my friend we've been friends for 9 years, this is our 10th year, we were always in each others class and form so I established a connection with him. But it wasn't all one sided, although we were just friends, he always sat with me regardless if it was boy girl boy girl and at the christmas party, we had to pick a boy we both said "you" at the same time, and although it was nice, i never thought of him in that way.

Anyway, we went upto high school, and we were the closest friends ever but everyone thought we were dating - when we weren't (hence why I don't like it when people say we're dating robbie.) anyway, I never thought of him as more, and vice versa, then eventually, when I did want a boyfriend, yeah we had grown apart, that was because of my ex physco best friend she drove me away from him, I regret leaving him, and he's now in a band, and we still see each other time to time in college but it's not the same. So when I did start liking him (pretty much like you are with her) he wouldn't go that way with me. We had a serious heart to heart one night a couple of years ago, I wasn't his type, his type was hard to explain etc.

What I'm saying is, I feel you are A. Only meant to be friends or B. Too young to establish a relationship.

[koony]

The friend zone can be circumvented.

Although this sounds like a long distance relationship, which can be sort of unhealthy, also you're still really young, so don't think about "love". Almost 90% Percent of relationships fail disregarding age, the point is to enjoy the time you have.

Other than that:
Make her laugh, the womenz like laughs. If she's good enough to be your close friend she's good enough to be your gf, which is usually the best option to go for.
Make sure your contact with her improves, such as speaking in person or over the phone. No more of this IM stuff.

If she agrees to meet up, that would be good, otherwise over the phone. Women like confidence, they don't like men that are over confident though.

If it doesn't happen it's not going to happen, let go.

[Conservative,]

The friend zone can be circumvented.

Although this sounds like a long distance relationship, which can be sort of unhealthy, also you're still really young, so don't think about "love". Almost 90% Percent of relationships fail disregarding age, the point is to enjoy the time you have.

Other than that:
Make her laugh, the womenz like laughs. If she's good enough to be your close friend she's good enough to be your gf, which is usually the best option to go for.
Make sure your contact with her improves, such as speaking in person or over the phone. No more of this IM stuff.

If she agrees to meet up, that would be good, otherwise over the phone. Women like confidence, they don't like men that are over confident though.

If it doesn't happen it's not going to happen, let go.

It's not long distance - she goes to the school next to my school, but she lives on the other side of the school, so it'd be double the distance to walk there.

Anyway, it's true what you say - I need to improve my contact with her, and I'm not intending to go straight in as soon as I get her number back. I want to pick our friendship up where we left off.

And yeah, if she says no I'll move on lol.

[FlyingJesus]

Just re-read this and -


haven't seen each other properly for the past 3 years
...
I think we were barely 13
...
I'll be 15 in a few months

Looks to me like you asked her out and since then she hasn't wanted to talk to you much, not exactly the mark of someone saying no because they value your friendship. Unless you suddenly got really rich or really hot I'd very much advise not going for it

[Conservative,]

Just re-read this and -



Looks to me like you asked her out and since then she hasn't wanted to talk to you much, not exactly the mark of someone saying no because they value your friendship. Unless you suddenly got really rich or really hot I'd very much advise not going for it

We didn't talk as much before that anyway...we haven't exactly talked a lot since Secondary school because we don't go to the same school. I asked her at the beginning of year 8, before that we hadn't talked much, I was kinda stupid asking her out without talking to her first, but still.

I know what you're saying - We don't talk much so it seems like we're not best friends after that, but I trust her word. I need to talk to her properly again, she even said after she said no "I still want to be friends and talk and that" but I just haven't seen her since because she's always at Dance Festivals, and when she's not I'm at ski races. Lol.

[wiktoria]

Ask if she would like to go to the cinema with you..then maybe talk to her on the way there or afterwards :P If you end up going out and you break up it will probably ruin your friendship so I wouldn't bother.

[kuzkasate]

Just try be sweet to her, complement her, but dont go over the top. You definately need to start talking to her more and seeing eachother out side of school.

I am sort of in the same situation, I have liked this girl for 3 years.. we are like best friends. We both want to go out, but we are both worried that it will destroy the friendship. I suppose you gotta think, is it worth taking the risk?

[Conservative,]

Just try be sweet to her, complement her, but dont go over the top. You definately need to start talking to her more and seeing eachother out side of school.

I am sort of in the same situation, I have liked this girl for 3 years.. we are like best friends. We both want to go out, but we are both worried that it will destroy the friendship. I suppose you gotta think, is it worth taking the risk?

Exactly lol. And as I've said, I would need to see her more if I were to ask her out...I really like her as a friend, but I want to take it further...whether or not she does I have no idea LOL.

[kuzkasate]

Exactly lol. And as I've said, I would need to see her more if I were to ask her out...I really like her as a friend, but I want to take it further...whether or not she does I have no idea LOL.

Well to be honest.. I was like that for a while.. I wanted to ask her straight "do you like me?" but I feared that maybe she would take it the wrong way.. but I thought, oh what the hell, you only live once & if she falls out with me, then shes a daft cow. So I asked her and she said yes.. that changed throught the 3 years, believe me! But we never actually got together even though we did do stuff, if that makes sense. TBH, I just dont see the point in not going out with her, because shes scared it will ruin our friendship, yet shes the one that comes onto me most of the time... but thats women for you.

[Conservative,]

Well to be honest.. I was like that for a while.. I wanted to ask her straight "do you like me?" but I feared that maybe she would take it the wrong way.. but I thought, oh what the hell, you only live once & if she falls out with me, then shes a daft cow. So I asked her and she said yes.. that changed throught the 3 years, believe me! But we never actually got together even though we did do stuff, if that makes sense. TBH, I just dont see the point in not going out with her, because shes scared it will ruin our friendship, yet shes the one that comes onto me most of the time... but thats women for you.

Lol haha...well idk, as I said, I did ask her a few years ago, and she said she didn't want to for the reasons I stated (didn't want to ruin our friendship ect.) but now we're older and that...I'd like to try again, but I don't know :P I need to talk to her...hmm I'll ask her mate for her number :P

[kuzkasate]

Lol haha...well idk, as I said, I did ask her a few years ago, and she said she didn't want to for the reasons I stated (didn't want to ruin our friendship ect.) but now we're older and that...I'd like to try again, but I don't know :P I need to talk to her...hmm I'll ask her mate for her number :P

Yeah, you actually should ask her out, if she says no, well atleast you know you tried right? And dont ask her mate for her number.. just ask her herself and then text her and invite her out sometime, remember be quite sweet and flirty, but nothing too cheesy.

[Conservative,]

Yeah, you actually should ask her out, if she says no, well atleast you know you tried right? And dont ask her mate for her number.. just ask her herself and then text her and invite her out sometime, remember be quite sweet and flirty, but nothing too cheesy.

I don't see her as I said - and she doesn't use Facebook that much...I suppose I could like message her on Facebook and ask her for it :) lol.

I wanna go do that right now but for some reason I'm really nervous? Like idk..I just have a weird feeling she'll ask questions :S lol.

[Conservative,]

Okay I just Sent her a message on Facebook seeing if she wanted to talk. I gave her my mobile and that so hopefully shell reply :)

[Rapidshare]

Asking her online or via phone or anything other than face is just sad..go outside and go to her house
and ask her..

[Zycel]

Tell her you like her and ask her to start meeting and gradually get closer.

[Conservative,]

Asking her online or via phone or anything other than face is just sad..go outside and go to her house
and ask her..

I didn't ask her online I asked to talk to her :P

[Zycel]

You can't exactly say I will give you rep++ for getting a girl to like you lol its just kinda sad.

[Conservative,]

You can't exactly say I will give you rep++ for getting a girl to like you lol its just kinda sad.

It's +rep for helpful comments?

[Zycel]

It is helpful, basically just figure your relationship out your self don't ask other people, If you have known her for a few years you must known each other by now but what she is thinking is it will be a bit weird going out after we have known each-other for this long.

My Tips.
1. Try to start talking to her and maybe meeting each-other
2. Gradually ask her to start dating.
3. Ask her out once them last 2 steps you have done.

Hope it helps.

Regards, Zycel (DJ Ink)