Discipline

[buttons]

how were you disciplined as a child?
was it effective?
would you use it on your own children? or what would you use instead?



there wasn't much discipline in my home, it was a case of "your grounded" but being let out after an hour or 2 of crying. it was mostly a reward system, only rewarded or bribed for being good, not much punishment or being sat down and told what i was doing was wrong. most definitely an ineffective method i think. as for me i'll probably punish them and stick with it, no bribing them to do well but rewarding them if they do without asking for it and only for big things otherwise it'd lose meaning.

[chantellehugs]

I was usually smacked on the back of the legs when I naughty and it sure as heck stopped me messing about. I think it was effective because I've turned out fine and I'm not spoilt or a brat. The smacks didn't really hurt but it was a sign that I was doing something wrong.
When I have my own children I intend to discipline them, however I wouldn't ever hit them with an object because I just don't think it's right, but I'd tell them off and constantly be telling them what's right and wrong. I suppose if smacking is necessary I will.

[Red]

I got a smack lmao and my sister would of been more likely to be grounded because for her that was hell on earth whereas I would happily sit in and read. A smack didn't do me any harm and I turned out ok. My parents were really lenient and trusted me growing up so I played up less.

[Chris]

Hmm well mostly it was just constant nagging to do something a certain way, but if it was something really bad then it would be a smack. >_<

[Narnat,]

Nagging, Slapped, Grounded. and I don't think I would use this on my kids I would rather talk to them about it and then go on from there.

[Samantha]

Smacks were used sometimes, never been grounded though.

I've turned out ok. I think!

[Shar]

My parents used to/still do shout to get us to do things their way, its still ineffective as ever

[Shoe]

I got smacked a few times, :/ never been grounded tho... i think i have turned out fine :) I know when I was little my mum and dad used to use the naughty step :P

[Rozi]

I think my mum managed very well with me and my brother, well at least with me, tbf my brother's such a little **** sometimes she couldn't do anything. I love my mum so much and imo she's raised a pair of well rounded and mature children ((a)) but failed at installing respect for the amount of work she does. Both me and my brother are unbelievably lazy and really unmotivated and unambitious. In a way though I feel like that's down to my Dad who is also a little **** sometimes.

I would raise my children to be conscientiousness, ambitious, respectful, mature and non-judgemental. I'd make sure they actual have a work ethic though and are fairly ambitious.

[FlyingJesus]

Quick stab in the kneecaps if I spoke out of line, 50 lashes for being improperly dressed and a pan across the face if I was slow to respond to their calls

Nah had like some smacking nothing mega, I think it's necessary in order to teach young kids what's wrong - if the most serious consequence of acting out is being shouted at then what would they ever behave for at that age? People are too scared to discipline their kids these days (not helped by ridiculously OTT child safety laws) and that's why the number of delinquents and troublemakers has been on the rise so heavily through our generation

[Conservative,]

I've been disciplined pretty harshly to be honest. My Dad has hit me a few times and my mum shouts a lot. No rewards or anything. But it was ineffective because I've decided I do what I want. My mum has tried numerous times to lay down rules for how long I go on the computer/playstation/TV but I don't listen because it's my life. Her best disciplining was probably taking away my laptop, but now I use the excuse "I need it for coursework" and she won't do anything.

I'll probably be pretty chilled with my kids. I don't want to be a strict parent because of the upbringing I've had has made me see that being strict just brings out the worst in kids. I'll be lenient - if my kids do something wrong, tell them what it was but don't do anything about it until they do it again. Then I'll use rewards rather than punishment. Probably for when they're younger - stickers which earn them little prizes like a new toy or something, then as they get older I'll ground them if they do something major, but I don't like punishing kids, I think let them be kids, let them learn for themselves - but you have to lay down a line at an early age so they don't cross it. That's all. But I'd make sure they have good morals and beliefs and know where the line is. The rest is up to them. I'm not going to force beliefs or way of living down their throat. It's their lives. Let them live it how they want.

[dirrty]

well my mum told me i was a devils child when i was younger and i put my cousin off having children for life as she used to babysit me. so yeah, the general discipline would be grounding, taking things away and smacking (which would be quite hard and most frequent form of punishment). no surprise tho rly lol. but i'm glad because i turned out fine - and who knows how disrespectful/bad behaved i would of been if the only course of punishment would be talks, the naughty corner and whatever else. that 100% wouldn't have worked haha.

i'd 1000000% say it was effective though considering how i turned out (which is perfectly fyi). i would most probably smack my own children though as i believe it's an effective form of punishment. not talking about the light tapping on the back of the legs though as that's just :l

[Casanova]

Well, when my parents were together it was my mother that was at home. The words that literally made us **** ourselves was "just you wait til your dad gets home!" if he came home after his twelve hour shift to be told what we done (and tbf he did always judge whether he agreed with my mum, not just take her word!!) he would come up to our rooms, shout at us for what we done, explain where we went home and gave us a good smack.

When my parents split up it was a change in dynamic. Our mum left when we were 10, our dad was destroyed. It was as if we never done wrong? Our dad had an important job and worked literally six days a week, twelve hours a day. So we knew we just couldn't be bad? he gave us our own keys we had our two babysitters through summer and they looked after us whenever dad was working and wouldn't be home for more than an hour.

We had a fair upbringing, if we were bad we'd get a good slap and I'll be honest I would 100% agree with one good slap? It reinforces the wrong thing you've done and enforces who's in control. My sister is married, has my twin nephews and lives a very good life, my brother and myself are in well paid jobs and work our arses off. We were taught you be good, work hard and live how you want. I'm sick of seeing the trampy mothers walking down the shopping malls with four kids in tow, a multitude of fizzy drinks and sugary foods and letting their devil children run riot!!

I'd say my parents worst ever fault with bringing myself and my brother up (well that'd be more so my dad as my sister had left home when mum left) was that he taught us money was no object. We appreciate money, understand how to earn it but he just didn't teach us frugal!? Me and Gregg have serious money issues, if my sister didn't loan us money and our stepmum didn't help along too we'd have no money 40 weeks of the year!

[AgnesIO]

I've been disciplined pretty harshly to be honest. My Dad has hit me a few times and my mum shouts a lot. No rewards or anything. But it was ineffective because I've decided I do what I want. My mum has tried numerous times to lay down rules for how long I go on the computer/playstation/TV but I don't listen because it's my life. Her best disciplining was probably taking away my laptop, but now I use the excuse "I need it for coursework" and she won't do anything.

I'll probably be pretty chilled with my kids. I don't want to be a strict parent because of the upbringing I've had has made me see that being strict just brings out the worst in kids. I'll be lenient - if my kids do something wrong, tell them what it was but don't do anything about it until they do it again. Then I'll use rewards rather than punishment. Probably for when they're younger - stickers which earn them little prizes like a new toy or something, then as they get older I'll ground them if they do something major, but I don't like punishing kids, I think let them be kids, let them learn for themselves - but you have to lay down a line at an early age so they don't cross it. That's all. But I'd make sure they have good morals and beliefs and know where the line is. The rest is up to them. I'm not going to force beliefs or way of living down their throat. It's their lives. Let them live it how they want.

Rewards are the most ridiculous, stupid things for children in their upbringing. The reward should be not having privliges taken away etc. It is a bit like at school; the good kids get ignored, yet if the bad kids are good they get rewarded. Any child specialist will tell you what a load of crap the reward system can be.

[Inseriousity.]

When we were younger it used to be "we're taking you to the children's home if you carry on!" which worked really well but sounds pathetic when you say it now. After we got too old for that to work, it was smacking, which didn't really work at all because I'd continue doing what I was doing and just got better at not getting caught. I've turned out into a fine person but I'm not really a fan of the 'I was smacked and I turned out fine' line because I don't think it's really to do with the smacking but other things in your childhood that turns you into a respectable person.

That being said, I'm not going to say I'm never going to smack my children because I imagine it's very stressful with a screaming brat so don't blame my parents for using it even if I'd question how effective it actually is.

[dbgtz]

hardly at all, been hit once and i dont behave badly. I dont think there is a correlation between discipline and childs behavior therefore shall not hit my kids often, however that one time I was hit did put me off swearing in front of my parents (despite them encouraging me to do it sometimes and doing it themselves in a humourous way, not piss off you **** kind of way). When I raise my kids, you just have to show them who's boss by asserting authority through the use of money (either getting rewards, or threatening to not give them money for something if they don't tidy or something). I shouldn't say this but I think my parents could have done a better job with me and my brothers as were not really helpful as much as we should be. I realise this but I still don't help, it's kind of nature vs nurture thing as my mum is also very lazy and doesn't contribute loads herself and only does because she literally does nothing except go on the phone all day so she only does housework from boredom and my dad is really bossy, and i think i have got most of my traits from my mother as i tend to react similarly to her in a lot of ways. So me and my partner, whoever that may be, will need to also show a good image as obviously children are influential. So if i constantly hit them, they might do the same and take it further to the stage of actual abuse. It's about balance and image.

tl;dr: i was hit once and will avoid hitting my children as it will set a bad example.

[Stephen]

never been grounded before

but i got a mouthful of soap for swearing once. Been eating it ever since

[Conservative,]

Rewards are the most ridiculous, stupid things for children in their upbringing. The reward should be not having privliges taken away etc. It is a bit like at school; the good kids get ignored, yet if the bad kids are good they get rewarded. Any child specialist will tell you what a load of crap the reward system can be.

Hmmm that is true. But I wouldn't reward them for not being bad. I'd reward them for being consistently good. That's different. I would still punish them for severe things and install good morals and values in them, but I'm not going to be my parents and yell at them for small things like having an untidy bedroom. Discipline is not the most important thing to me. Don't get me wrong - I'm not going to let my kids go off the handle, become druggies - smoking whatever and failing - but I'm not going to ruin their childhood through pointless and excessive rules.

[Technologic]

never been grounded but my mum used to threaten my with a slap to the back of my head with her ring hand. **** me that hurt a lot.

[Wig44.]

I've been disciplined pretty harshly to be honest. My Dad has hit me a few times and my mum shouts a lot. No rewards or anything. But it was ineffective because I've decided I do what I want. My mum has tried numerous times to lay down rules for how long I go on the computer/playstation/TV but I don't listen because it's my life. Her best disciplining was probably taking away my laptop, but now I use the excuse "I need it for coursework" and she won't do anything.

I'll probably be pretty chilled with my kids. I don't want to be a strict parent because of the upbringing I've had has made me see that being strict just brings out the worst in kids. I'll be lenient - if my kids do something wrong, tell them what it was but don't do anything about it until they do it again. Then I'll use rewards rather than punishment. Probably for when they're younger - stickers which earn them little prizes like a new toy or something, then as they get older I'll ground them if they do something major, but I don't like punishing kids, I think let them be kids, let them learn for themselves - but you have to lay down a line at an early age so they don't cross it. That's all. But I'd make sure they have good morals and beliefs and know where the line is. The rest is up to them. I'm not going to force beliefs or way of living down their throat. It's their lives. Let them live it how they want.


I've been disciplined pretty harshly to be honest. My Dad has hit me a few times and my mum shouts a lot.

disciplined harshly, my mum shouts a lot

my mum shouts a lot
SO HARSH BRO

I was always smacked around if I got out of line. Not anymore though.

[Metric1]

No, we were rewarded for good behavior.

[Nuxty]

I think my mum has done a pretty good job with my brother, sister and I! She taught us right from wrong and yeah, if we were naughty when we were younger then at the worst possible case it'd be a smack, if not it would be things like a "time out" or not being about to go to the park in the afternoon, and just little things like that which can make a child think about their actions and see that if they do misbehave, then they won't get to do the things they want to do. I think it has been effective tbh, none of us have "gone off the rails" as such and we've all been pretty devoted to our studies and my brother and sister, both who are older, moved onto higher education, so yeah, I think discipline as a child for us was fair and very effective.

I'd be pretty much the same with my children, I don't really feel like I could smack my child unless they had ticked me off so much and I'd be like KABOOM! Well, I wouldn't as I would feel so guilty after, so instead I may just do things like rewards for good behaviour and if they misbehave, less fun and more time in the naughty corner!

[Hayleigh]

I actually used to be such a well behaved child ;l. Very rarely was I told off and mum would only talk to me then give me a hug if I did something wrong. I'm worse now, I'm not really naughty just lazy, like I eat in my room and leave the cups etc up there and dont wash out the bath etc, normally get into trouble for swearing too.
When I went to my nans and we were naughty (my cousin, sister and I), she would say, "I'm getting the wooden spoon out", which she would smack us on the bum with, which didn't hurt at all tbh.

[HotelUser]

My father was always the strict one growing up, when my brother or I got into a disagreement as little kids we were hit on the behind not hard enough to hurt but to learn the rights and wrongs of a kid. As we aged rule enforcement weakened and now I'd even go as far as to say it's incredibly irresponsible.

My mother used to tell me about stories and kids getting the strap in school for writing with their left hand instead of their right. She broke a picture frame at home once by accident and her mother hit her with a stick.