Justifying Unhappiness

[Daltron]

I posted a thread a few days ago asking if people are happy with their lives: See here (http://www.habboxforum.com/showthread.php?t=782207)

And I found one comment in particular very interesting which said we should not be unhappy because people have it much worse, such as having cancer.

Do you think it's a valid argument why we should be happy and not sad, that being because other people have it much worse? I am interested in everyone's thoughts!

[dbgtz]

I'd only ever consider it valid if someone is sad about not being able to do or buy something luxurious, like all of those spoilt brats on those sweet 16 shows. Though saying that, at the end of the day it's subjective.

[MKR&*42]

I thought Stephens reply was a sarcastic one to an earlier response ? Woops if not

I've had the "you don't deserve to be unhappy because others are worse off" argument thrown at me IRL and its such a pathetic one. I can use that logic and say no-one deserves to ve happy because thete is someone happier than you!!!!


It's a Crap argument and I cannot believe some people take it seriously.

[Daltron]

I thought Stephens reply was a sarcastic one to an earlier response ? Woops if not



Oh yea, I know (well think) it was sarcastic but it still got me thinking about it lol because I am sure it's a view many people hold regardless

[MKR&*42]

Oh yea, I know (well think) it was sarcastic but it still got me thinking about it lol because I am sure it's a view many people hold regardless

Oh ok :)

[FlyingJesus]

It's a ridiculous view that trivialises suffering and does nothing to fix any problems whatsoever

[Empired]

I think that's utterly ridiculous. Sadness is a personal thing and you cannot compare it to other peoples' feelings. Especially as it's an emotion so nobody will experience sadness in the same way.

I mean, realising somebody else has cancer doesn't make you stop crying over a breakup with your boyfriend/girlfriend because that stranger dying of cancer is not personal to you, whereas the breakup would be.

[Inseriousity.]

Tbh that thought helps me with my problems. Sometimes problems can be magnified because you feel so alone and helpless and it's comforting to know that there are people who are going through the same thing and understand how you feel and likewise people suffering through much worse. It puts your problems in perspective and helps you work out which problems are serious and which are trivial. Despite that, how to deal with issues or problems is a personal thing and telling people that they should be happy because there's a dying kid in Africa is not going to really be much use.

[Empired]

Tbh that thought helps me with my problems. Sometimes problems can be magnified because you feel so alone and helpless and it's comforting to know that there are people who are going through the same thing and understand how you feel and likewise people suffering through much worse. It puts your problems in perspective and helps you work out which problems are serious and which are trivial. Despite that, how to deal with issues or problems is a personal thing and telling people that they should be happy because there's a dying kid in Africa is not going to really be much use.
My mum does this all the time oh my god. I'm really upset about something and she just goes "CHEER UP A CHILD DIES EVERY 5 SECONDS IN AFRICA". How is that supposed to cheer me up :S Now I'm just upset and thinking about African children dying from malnutrition??

[buttons]

i don't think anyone needs to justify their feelings or actions, simple as. if someone is happy, you don't tell them others are better off than them and so they don't deserve to be happy lol. i get really annoyed when people tell me i have a roof over my head, clean clothes and water etc, it doesn't fix any emotional abuse you can suffer despite all that. be happy, be sad, whatever, it's all part of being human and you don't need to justify that.

i don't think happiness is the 'norm' and that being unhappy means something has gone wrong with you nor do i think we should strive for happiness. we have to feel all emotions in order to be whole. everyone has something they're 'entitled' to be unhappy with, some people just deal with it better..

[Cerys]

I'd probs say stuff them, I can be unhappy if I wish to be.

Like, we all define unhappiness differently, I may say not being able to go to alton towers makes me unhappy, but others would laugh and say they'd be unhappy if someone close died, which in my mind would be worse than just unhappiness.

if you see what i mean.. xD

[-:Undertaker:-]

If I am ever feeling down and sorry for myself I also think of the real problems people face - and in comparison, mine are utterly pathetic.

[Aiden]

I think thats one way of coping with being sad. Although this quote comes into mind:

''My problems might not be as important as yours, but there still important to me.''

So I'm not sure

[Yawn]

stupid argument

http://i.minus.com/i7z5JiTwTZViX.gif

[lawrawrrr]

I seriously dislike people who say things like this. People are always going to have it worse, but there is no point comparing lives! If someone's in pain, feels ill, is hungry, doesn't have enough money (serious problems, not OH NO MUM WON'T GIVE ME 60 QUID FOR A JUMPER) then it's so unhelpful to say well children in africa have nothing so count yourself lucky...

At the moment I'm recovering from a minor operation (dont worry im fine!!!) and in quite a lot of pain, but my sister told me yesterday to 'get over it' because her friend just had scoliosis surgery (a metal rod inserted in her spine) and that's more serious. It doesn't actually help to know that, I can't move well at the moment whether I want to or not! I don't care what other people are like in this case: I'm in a bad shape until I recover fully... knowing other people are worse doesn't help me one bit.

On the other hand, people who moan about stupid, materialistic things, like running out of chocolate or not being given money, not being able to afford things that aren't necessities, should be reminded that there are people with a lot less: not because every human being should have the same, but because they should be reminded how lucky they are.

I mean, how far would you take it? Should we all give up our houses and cars and fresh water just so we're as unhappy (well our situations are, I couldn't tell you if they were actually unhappy) as starving children?

Comparing things like illnesses, money between countries and things is also ridiculous. Things aren't worth the same everywhere: a penny to us might be such a throwaway amount but in some countries it would go as far to buy an entire meal.

Human beings are, by nature, selfish beings, and the instinctive need in us is to keep ourselves alive and content. We can suppress that, and that's why some people are seen as "genuine saints" or altruistic, but that's the basic human will. I think the majority of us have donated to charity in the past, and will continue to in the future (whether knowingly or unknowingly) and that's arguably a way to justify our selfish lifestyles (used to extremes in some cases), but most of the time it won't change how you feel about your own life. By giving away things, doesn't it also have the possibility to make your life even worse?

There is always the argument of, well seeing the plight of others makes people more determined or more generous, which is a good thing I suppose, but doesn't really play into happiness: if you're sick and give all your money to other, sicker people, it doesn't necessarily follow that you'd be happier yourself.

Happiness isn't defined in relation to other people's situations: happiness is completely subjective, depends completely on the person. If I'm feeling better than I was yesterday, why can I not say that?

It also completely depends on the person's situation: if you're born into wealth and riches and suddenly lose it all, then chances are you're going to be unhappy at your misfortune. Even if it's self inflicted, you'd be unhappy, but most people would probably realise and feel guilty or find blame somewhere. On the other hand, if you're born into literally nothing, and find yourself in a situation that most people in economically developed countries would find horrific, then you might well be happy! (e.g.: children who are born into poverty in African countries but manage to find a tin shack somewhere).

Happiness doesn't even mean the same thing so there's actually not even any way to compare it: some people define it as their family, some their job, some their bank balance, some their education, some by simply not dying (suicidal people, for example), so there's no base line with which you can compare different people's happiness. I might be unhappy with my family because they do this, this and this, to me, but that might be better than how some people's parents treat them - do I therefore lose my right to be unhappy because someone has it worse? Some people don't have parents that are still alive, does that mean I should be happy mine are there, even if they were to do unthinkable things to me?

What if someone has cancer; that's a pretty objectively bad place to be. But, would ANYONE turn round to the sufferer and say "hey, some people only have a week to live"? I think not.

And the idea of having to 'justify' why you're happy or unhappy is ridiculous too; if someone feels happy they feel happy, if they're not happy, they're not happy: it's not up to anyone else to decide what that person is feeling. It goes so much further than that, people who get upset about things and are not that they 'shouldn't be upset' - people can't help their emotions!

I've got more to say but I'll stop there I think. Quite long already. Well done if you've read it all ;)

TL;DR: no

[dbgtz]

At the moment I'm recovering from a minor operation (dont worry im fine!!!) and in quite a lot of pain, but my sister told me yesterday to 'get over it' because her friend just had scoliosis surgery (a metal rod inserted in her spine) and that's more serious.

That is an awful logic considering it's not really that serious and is fairly common. Also, going by that logic, her friend should get over it as other people have heart problems or whatever...

[lawrawrrr]

That is an awful logic considering it's not really that serious and is fairly common. Also, going by that logic, her friend should get over it as other people have heart problems or whatever...

Spine surgery is a big deal, big risk and such but yeah, it's ridiculous! Where do you draw the line? Should people on the verge of death get over it because some people are dead?!

[dbgtz]

Spine surgery is a big deal, big risk and such but yeah, it's ridiculous! Where do you draw the line? Should people on the verge of death get over it because some people are dead?!

Trust me, in this day and age scoliosis surgery isn't that dangerous :P But exactly, get admitted to hospital and the chances are someone will have it worse. Really, that logic just leads to only one person allowed to be unhappy.

[Kardan]

Whilst it is a true statement, there will be someone out there having it worse than you, it doesn't make it any easier for some people.

Personally, I always end up feeling better thinking 'It could be worse', but that's all it does. Makes you feel a bit better, doesn't sort anything out.