What's your opinion on office relationships?

[Ailurus]

Alright so, I've been in this job for almost four months now. Nice desk job with a decent payslip at the end of every week, right? First person to welcome me in and shope me the ropes is this guy. Granted, he's not the best looking guy out there but, I think personality wins more than looks. He sits opposite my workstation so we steal glances at each other often and we always talk - sometimes I start the converstaions, sometimes he does. He asks me things like 'what plans you got for the weekend?' or 'doing anything tonight?' etc. I've recently started going to lunch with him and some other members of my team - some have already alluded to the fact that we talk alot so they tease for it. I don't mind that.

So today, we had lunch together but just the two of us. And he told me about his past relationships and the fact that he was single (he didn't blatanly state that but I gathered from his stories) and when I asked him, what now? He just said he'd see what happens next. We don't normally have lunch together alone, but someone in our team had a meeting, so the rest had lunch fifteen mins early but we could've easily gone and found them in the canteen and sat with them, but nope!

Are these all signs that he's interested? Anyone else had experiences at office romances or relationships with co-workers in general?

[buttons]

Granted, he's not the best looking guy out there but, I think personality wins more than looks.
if u think that then why bother to mention it?

Are these all signs that he's interested?
yes

whats my opinion.... work relationships are work relationships. many people meet there. you shouldn't avoid one just cause u might break up in future when it could be something great. not rocket science.

[Futz]

if you're already taking digs at his looks he deserves better

[Ailurus]

I think he's cute, but when other people see him they say I can do better. That's the only reason I mentioned that because I care more about personality than looks. :)

[Inseriousity.]

Men talk bout their "past" relationships when they're interested. It's an excuse to get to talk about your own (especially if he doesn't know your own relationship status). If you work in an office, there's bound to be a christmas party soon right? perfect chance to maybe take things to the next step if you want to. I'd say go for it :)

[Ailurus]

Men talk bout their "past" relationships when they're interested. It's an excuse to get to talk about your own (especially if he doesn't know your own relationship status). If you work in an office, there's bound to be a christmas party soon right? perfect chance to maybe take things to the next step if you want to. I'd say go for it :)

Thanks for the point of view! We already had a christmas meal, and after this week, I'm off until after Christmas. No point rushing things but its good to know we're both interested. :D

[Empired]

Seems like you're heading down the right track at the moment but perhaps try and ask him for for lunch over the next three days just the two of you? Then maybe during that lunch try and make plans over Christmas. Idk how old you are but perhaps you could go out for lunch again (or take it a step further and do dinner!!), see a movie, just whatever.

If I were to share any wisdom from my thousands of experiences (lol literally had one and maybe a half), try not to overthink things? As Mike said, if he's indicating that he's single that means he wants you to know he's available.

Also guys calm down I think she was just trying to say he's not super hot but she really likes him. I get that sometimes. I don't even look twice at them when I don't know them because I'm not immediately attracted to them but then I find out they're actually a lovely person and I start to like them more. I think what she was trying to say just came out wrong in her post.

[Kyle]

Seems like a nice enough chap but it's probably best to avoid starting any kind of relationship until after christmas/nye at least so you know that either of you is not just feeling lonely over the holiday period and using the other to fill a void.

yes he is taking an interest in you and seems to have been since you took the position. if people are telling you that you can do better then these aren't very nice people! do what he's doing - see what happens. let the friendship evolve naturally, don't force anything, and once you're sure that you have feelings for him bite the bullet and ask him on a date outside of work to see if he is still that same work colleague that you're into when he's not at the office. good luck x

[RyRy]

I think he's cute, but when other people see him they say I can do better. That's the only reason I mentioned that because I care more about personality than looks. :)

my gf gets that a lot about me, end of the day if you like the guy then **** what everybody else thinks, its your relationship not theirs.

BUT on the topic of office relationships, i would steer clear. they sound great beforehand, the sort of "ooo it'll be just like a movie where we're dating in an office and doing naughty things at work" but jesus christ it's like every other relationship except you see eachother everyday, and if you fall out then you still have to see eachother everyday. If you think he's worth the risk, thats your call but my advice would be to avoid this as it could get messy.

[Zak]

I wouldn't want to work with my fiancee personally. I go to work to get away from her (and so do 95% of people who work here) :P haha

[scottish]

poor laura

[Ailurus]

Thank you for all the comments guys, appriciate it. :)

I'm a shy enough girl as it but, worst still, I'm old fashioned when it comes to forming relationships - I'd expect the guy to ask the girl out. But I know in this day and age anything goes so, how long should I wait to make a move, or wait for him to make one?

The team think it's a great idea, lol. Probably 'coz they just want something to gossip about - they teased us today about the fact that we'd bought the same soup. xD

[Empired]

Thank you for all the comments guys, appriciate it. :)

I'm a shy enough girl as it but, worst still, I'm old fashioned when it comes to forming relationships - I'd expect the guy to ask the girl out. But I know in this day and age anything goes so, how long should I wait to make a move, or wait for him to make one?
Maybe don't ask him out on a date per say. Just ask him out to do something (lunch for example) and see how it goes. Doesn't have to be a formal date but it could help you to see how far your interests go.

I would definitely suggest that if you want something more to come of this, ASK HIM OUT. You said you're shy, maybe he's shy too. It would be such a waste for you both to ignore each other simply because you're both "too shy" to start anything.

[Ailurus]

I guess I'm just afraid that it turns out to be that he is just a nice guy, and doesn't want a relationship. I've been rejected once before and I'm afraid of that happening again. :s

[Kyle]

I guess I'm just afraid that it turns out to be that he is just a nice guy, and doesn't want a relationship. I've been rejected once before and I'm afraid of that happening again. :s
By letting things develop naturally you can avoid any sense of disappointment or rejection. Go into interactions with him with the idea of you two just being friends at the forefront of your mind and if either of you feels stronger then it will be clear. If he's talking about his relationships though then he's not just making conversation, he's fishing.

[Ailurus]

By letting things develop naturally you can avoid any sense of disappointment or rejection. Go into interactions with him with the idea of you two just being friends at the forefront of your mind and if either of you feels stronger then it will be clear. If he's talking about his relationships though then he's not just making conversation, he's fishing.

Thank you for your advice, Kyle. I'm kinda new to the signs I should be looking for to see if a guy is interested - it would be my first proper relationship if it did happen, and also I'm autistic so I don't recognise social cues or display them very well, either. That being said; what would you consider signs of flirting in the workplace?

[Kimmy]

I don't understand the term 'office relationships'. Do you mean a casual little thing that's kept entirely to the office, or something you want to blow up into a fully fledged thing? If so, what's the 'office' got to do with it? Surely every relationship would be the same sort of thing?
I personally don't really think that glancing at each other and having a chat now and again is a definite attraction sort of thing; it all seems sort of play-groundy to me. It's a different story if you actually feel something I suppose.
Also if you get into a relationship it means buying more gifts for xmass. :afro:

[Empired]

I don't understand the term 'office relationships'. Do you mean a casual little thing that's kept entirely to the office, or something you want to blow up into a fully fledged thing? If so, what's the 'office' got to do with it? Surely every relationship would be the same sort of thing?
I personally don't really think that glancing at each other and having a chat now and again is a definite attraction sort of thing; it all seems sort of play-groundy to me. It's a different story if you actually feel something I suppose.
Also if you get into a relationship it means buying more gifts for xmass. :afro:
Pretty sure office relationship means entering a relationship with someone who works in your office.
It can be very important when considering whether or not to take things further as if the relationship crashes and burns you'll have to remain civil to each other on a daily basis afterwards at work.

[Yupt]

If he's asking you what your doing at the weekend, that night, asking about past relationships and spending time alone with you at lunch.. He's definately interested.

I understand that when you're in this position it's like.. Ooh is he/she really interested or am I just imagining it? But those are the types of things guys say and ask when they're in to you.

I say that because that's exactly what I say/do with a girl if I'm interested in them, I constantly want to know what they're doing later that night, that weekend in the hope that the conversation will lead to one of us (im not always the most confident at this stage) saying "why don't we do something?".

Also, the looking across the workspace thing.. Pfft textbook.

[Brad]

Office Relationships usually end up bad if they start interfering with work. You'd be working together, dating eachother.. you would never get alone time. Where you can breathe.

I'd be careful with what you do, but if you feel it is right make boundaries. :)

[Sian]

See i would avoid an office relationship with a barge pole. Very few ever work out right plus you sit so close, if it does fail, badly it will be horrible for everyone in that office.

Seeming as the last two office relationships that happened ended up in a lot of threats etc and now they can't go near each other. So awkward.

[Ailurus]

We had lunch alone together again today - somehow I think my co-workers are scheming against us, because it's more often its just us two going to lunch now! Maybe I'm looking into this too much but, all your comments are very helpful! We were talking one day and he said he had to go to the shop to get batteries [for his Wii remote] and tissues [for his desk - he's a compulsive nose blower xD] and he said, people might think I'm weird for buying that stuff and I'm like, why? Then I was like... ohhh! Haha, I'm slow. ^^' Now we have an inside joke about batteries and tissues. xD

[velvet]

See i would avoid an office relationship with a barge pole. Very few ever work out right plus you sit so close, if it does fail, badly it will be horrible for everyone in that office.

Seeming as the last two office relationships that happened ended up in a lot of threats etc and now they can't go near each other. So awkward.


this lol
it's so awkward if you have a row since you can't avoid that person and even worse with all the gossip when you break up. i'd only do it if you proper, proper like this guy because chances are it'll be messy.

[Ailurus]

this lol
it's so awkward if you have a row since you can't avoid that person and even worse with all the gossip when you break up. i'd only do it if you proper, proper like this guy because chances are it'll be messy.

Thank you for your comment. This is what I consider to be a big negative against a list of positives, as it can have a knock on effect on everyone and everything around me if things turned sour. What should I do if he asks me out? He seems to be building towards it...

[lemons]

he said he had to go to the shop to get batteries [for his Wii remote] and tissues [for his desk - he's a compulsive nose blower xD] and he said, people might think I'm weird for buying that stuff and I'm like, why? Then I was like... ohhh! Haha, I'm slow. ^^' Now we have an inside joke about batteries and tissues. xD

hahahah that's funny

[Ailurus]

Guys! I need advice! It's my birthday next weekend and I said I was going to the cinema, and this guy said he would come with me. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?! :o

[Kyle]

Guys! I need advice! It's my birthday next weekend and I said I was going to the cinema, and this guy said he would come with me. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?! :o
it means he's hijacking your birthday to take you on your first (not counting all the lunchtimes you've now spent together) proper date. go with the flow and get together

[Ailurus]

it means he's hijacking your birthday to take you on your first (not counting all the lunchtimes you've now spent together) proper date. go with the flow and get together

Thanks Kyle! Ahhhh I'm nervous!

[GommeInc]

Nothing wrong with them provided you don't rush into them. If you have a life outside the office reserve that time for any relationship and withhold any affection within work so it does not interfere. Friends I've known who have had relationships in work have been successful when they separate work and relationships, and do not rush into them. It's usually best to get to know the other person gradually over time and see where it goes. Instead of banging in the corner treat them as a friend and see how it develops. The only time it really fails if it is a sexual relationship - with the sexual part being what keeps together than any sort of emotional bond.

[Ailurus]

Thanks for all your help, guys! I took the plunge today and I asked him if he liked me, just to make sure. He said yes so it looks like this weekend will be our first date. :o