Ever been bullied, how did you deal with it?

Yes, I have. Started from like year 7/8, and there was always these group of girls who'd wait for me and once I'd walk out they'd pick on me. I was too scared to it sorted because I always thought that once they get told they'd come back a bully me even more, but then enough was enough so I went to my form tutor who got it all sorted with those girls. From there I didn't like going to lunch or break so I'd camp out in a class room.

I still get the odd bit of name calling but I really don't care about those people anymore.

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Originally Posted by Mink

There's a reason for most forms of bullying, and if you deal with those reasons instead of encouraging it.. it will go away. Furthmore, in general - ignoring problems will not make them go away. It will always make it worse.

I have never been bullied and I feel that is because I'm always respectful and honorable towards all people. I never talk about people behind their backs unless I have good things to say and I always show empathy to the people I meet no matter what they've done or what they say to me. Judgement is good in life only if you judge people in a positive way.

How I deal and react to all situations shapes me towards a better life, and in turn - makes me a fantastic human being.

I recommend this strategy.

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I can tell you now that I didn't do anything wrong to the people who bullied me, and the majority of the time I didn't even know them. They are simply nasty people out.there that don't care about making you feel horrible.

In Middle school, I was really weak, short stature, different hair colour so basically I was the laughing stock. I didn't have any good friends and no one was interested in talking to me anyways. At that time, I didn't care because it's the general idea everyone has in their mind..."Ignore the bullies, they'll get bored of you" .. but nothing stopped, even tried to defend myself in many situations but got further bullied, sometimes it was physical. But when I think about it now, it makes me real angry and makes me feel bad about myself that people I cared about didn't give a **** about me, this is probably the reason I see myself sitting at home enjoying a movie rather than going out with people. I have paranoia, and most of the time I prefer intoversion but actually, I don't fancy being lonely.

I feel even worse about myself than before after reading this thread because I used to be a bit of a bully at school... SORRY

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Originally Posted by Adam

Yeah, got so bad that I was about a week away from moving schools but decided against it, stood up to the bully, punched him square in the face and I've never been bothered since.

Lesson: stand up for yourself.

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I was once picked on by a kid two years older from me for a short while. Basically because I wouldnt keep my mouth shut when he thought he was big. Eventually stopped when he pushed me so I punched him back.

That ended that one lol.

In general I have probably been friends with a few people who would bully others, although I have tended to stand up for people and tell my friends to leave off them - gains respect from both the bullied and the bullies haha

Sent from my HTC One X using Tapatalk 2

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Originally Posted by Kardan

I can tell you now that I didn't do anything wrong to the people who bullied me, and the majority of the time I didn't even know them. They are simply nasty people out.there that don't care about making you feel horrible.

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There's a reason for all forms of bullying.

I agree there's absolute scumbags out there in society, but the above is true.

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Originally Posted by Mink

There's a reason for most forms of bullying, and if you deal with those reasons instead of encouraging it.. it will go away. Furthmore, in general - ignoring problems will not make them go away. It will always make it worse.

I have never been bullied and I feel that is because I'm always respectful and honorable towards all people. I never talk about people behind their backs unless I have good things to say and I always show empathy to the people I meet no matter what they've done or what they say to me. Judgement is good in life only if you judge people in a positive way.

How I deal and react to all situations shapes me towards a better life, and in turn - makes me a fantastic human being.

I recommend this strategy.

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the reason is because the bullies are a holes, nothing to do with the victim
u say u were nice to everyone so thats why no-one picked on u but sorry to say thats not how it works everywhere

i was short thin and weak and was picked on a lot, i would ignore people n run away from them if they said anythin to me. theyd follow me home from school n i would cry n say nothing back so they knew to keep picking on me. u couldnt defend urself in my school without being beat up n i didnt exactly fancy that so i just took it. u say "deal with the reason you were being bullied" but how could i when i wasn't given a reason? i know it was just cause i was weak n the bullies would pick absolutely anyone that was weaker than them as a victim. so the reason i was bullied was for them to assert their dominance

also i was bullied at home by my brother being called a loser almost everyday being told my friends didn't even like me n he would ***** about me to my friends who fell out with me and encouraged others to bully me. so whats the reason for that? how am i supposed to deal with that? none of the bullying was cause of a fault of me but of other people. like my brother bullied me cause he has short temper and he lacks empathy. people at gymnastics bullied me because i was good at it and got awards, they'd put my clothes in the shower and choose me as the person to put all the equipment away. i know its cause they were jealous. why should i stop being good at something for someone else.

so no im not gonna change my shortness, thinness, 'weakness' for bullies. they're the one that needs to change.
if you're a bully YOU change your ways, not the other way around! that's like saying oh if you get rid of all the things that make u a bully victim (which isn't always possible) then they'll stop picking on you but pick on someone else instead. how about they change and pick on no-one instead?

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Originally Posted by buttons

the reason is because the bullies are a holes, nothing to do with the victim
u say u were nice to everyone so thats why no-one picked on u but sorry to say thats not how it works everywhere
i was short thin and weak and was picked on a lot, i would ignore people n run away from them if they said anythin to me. theyd follow me home from school n i would cry n say nothing back so they knew to keep picking on me. u couldnt defend urself in my school without being beat up n i didnt exactly fancy that so i just took it. u say "deal with the reason you were being bullied" but how could i when i wasn't given a reason? i know it was just cause i was weak n the bullies would pick absolutely anyone that was weaker than them as a victim. so the reason i was bullied was for them to assert their dominance
also i was bullied at home by my brother being called a loser almost everyday being told my friends didn't even like me n he would ***** about me to my friends who fell out with me and encouraged others to bully me. so whats the reason for that? how am i supposed to deal with that? none of the bullying was cause of a fault of me but of other people.
so no im not gonna change my shortness, thinness, 'weakness' for bullies. they're the one that needs to change.
if you're a bully YOU change your ways, not the other way around! that's like saying oh if you get rid of all the things that make u a bully victim (which isn't always possible) then they'll stop picking on you but pick on someone else instead. how about they change and pick on no-one instead?

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Couldn't have put it better myself.

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Originally Posted by buttons

i would ignore people n run away from them if they said anythin to me. theyd follow me home from school n i would cry n say nothing back so they knew to keep picking on me.

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You said it perfectly yourself. Like I said in my post, ignoring a problem will not make it go away.

Your ideology may be that they are the problem, in reality these bullies do have problems too. However it is your problem too and your responsibility to deal with all situations in your life.

The way I read your reply, you've experienced hardship not only at home, but outside of home too. This is were a professional can be useful and really take charge to help you turn things around positively. Have you ever seen a counselor or anything of that type? Feel free to PM me if you're not comfortable sharing this information publicly.

I truly understand your pain and hardship, and it's a shame that certain people have to go through such challenging ordeals whilst others walk among the blades seemingly carefree.

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Originally Posted by Mink

You said it perfectly yourself. Like I said in my post, ignoring a problem will not make it go away.

Your ideology may be that they are the problem, in reality these bullies do have problems too. However it is your problem too and your responsibility to deal with all situations in your life.

The way I read your reply, you've experienced hardship not only at home, but outside of home too. This is were a professional can be useful and really take charge to help you turn things around positively. Have you ever seen a counselor or anything of that type? Feel free to PM me if you're not comfortable sharing this information publicly.

I truly understand your pain and hardship, and it's a shame that certain people have to go through such challenging ordeals whilst others walk among the blades seemingly carefree.

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don't assume i need a counsellor cause ive been bullied, this all ended around 4 years ago and im deffo a stronger person now.

im cool with sharing information publicly, im not ashamed to talk about my experiences or admit ive been a victim. at end of the day i know i was bullied, not because i was a rubbish person but because they were rubbish people. my point is a bully should change their ways rather than the bully victim.

you understand my hardship yet you've never been bullied? try being bullied at home, at school and even online. its not easy but the last thing you need to be told is that it's your fault and YOU should change. we should focus instead on putting blame on bullies. idc if bullies have problems, i have ******* problems and i don't bully people.

ANYWAY thanks for the offer of PMing you but i don't think talking to someone whose never been bullied is going to be of any use AND im over it. also i take responsibility for my situations, in the end we spoke to the headmaster who actually told me to ignore them and teachers would make sure i wasn't put into groups with the bullies and also given my own classroom at lunch to hang out in away from them which is not fair that they get to do everything without punishment whereas the victim is segregated. it's not that i have to deal with my situation, it's that bullies need to change the situations they're putting people into.