My friend [SERIOUS]

well, his mum is really bad to him. she shouts at him for doing NOTHING atall. he could be listening to music on the TV and she would have a go at him for being too loud even wif we can only just hear it.

ive been at his house and his mums a proper *****. if we talk to loud, she shouts at him. if we laugh to loud, she shouts at him but the weirdist one is if he gets too excisted, she shouts at him.

she used to physically abuse him (like punch him) when he was younger but thats stopped now. he loves her because shes his mum but HATES her with a passion.

he doesnt want to leave her but he mostly lives with his nan. shes having an operation soon so hed like to see her get through that. maybe shell be better after that.

what should he do?

I suggest asking him to ring up a helpline like childline, and probably you can ask him to speak to his relatives for help. Good luck to him!

ive told him alot. but his family have reported his mum loads and it never works

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Originally Posted by Sway

ive told him alot. but his family have reported his mum loads and it never works

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what do you mean never works? if they've done it loads then surely some appropriate action should have been taken by now...

well, he told me when he was 4 his auntie reported and they just came over and watched. then when he was 6 and 8. same thing. never anything done. but when he was 10 he was taken away for a day then given back again.

now he's older though he can phone a helpline or ask family members to report her again, but give as many details as possible about what's been happening.

tell him to talk to his mum seriously, by means of a 1 on 1 convo.

yeh. i think ill talk to him later and try and think of all theof the possibilitys.

maybe hell listen.

but i hope he moves in with his nan. shes really nice and lives a few doors away from me.

edit: alwayshard, that never works. she denies everything and gets angry with him. ive been upstairs when he tried.

How old is he?

I reccomend phoning up some help agencies like childline but really going for it. Get his family to do the same. If all fails then hopeuflly he can move out in a few years.

hes 14. same year as me.

I think you can move out at 15 or at least someone I know has. Is he close to 15 or only just turned 14?

It's still best to take everones advice first though as he seems like he really loves his mum.

yeh hes quite close to 15.

and ill speak to him at 4 when he gets home from school.

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Originally Posted by Sway

edit: alwayshard, that never works. she denies everything and gets angry with him. ive been upstairs when he tried.

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she's a hopeless case :'(

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Originally Posted by Alwayshard

tell him to talk to his mum seriously, by means of a 1 on 1 convo.

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That will only turn into a 1 on 1 fist-fight... I suggest he calls ChildLine when he's out, it's the only way he will probably have some time to talk properly to them without feeling intimated by his Mum. Why not invite him over to your house, and use the phone there? Does your mum know about all this abuse? If so, maybe she could report her as well as his Auntie to combat what seems to be a hopeless situation.

People like this bring it on themselves, and you gotta give the guy credit for trying to love his mum so much despite he gets beaten. If anything, it's not for him to be taken away from her, it's for her to be taken away from him. The realisation when she might lose her son could well smack some sense into her.

both of our mums are the same. but i have somewhere to go where he hasnt. i can get away and talk to someone and sleep there if i really need it. he has to stick with it. he has nowhere to go. i respect him alot for not running away and giving her "just one more chance" everytime it happens. i think childline is the best bet. ill find the number then well talk about it later.

Sorry for offtopic etc but its weird that other threads that peoples have posted saying "My friend" get flamed because everyone thinks they lying and mean themselves..

Ontopic: And yeah tell him to phone childline or something

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Originally Posted by Sway

both of our mums are the same. but i have somewhere to go where he hasnt. i can get away and talk to someone and sleep there if i really need it. he has to stick with it. he has nowhere to go. i respect him alot for not running away and giving her "just one more chance" everytime it happens. i think childline is the best bet. ill find the number then well talk about it later.

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ChildLine - 0800 11 11
NSPCC - 0808 800 5000

Not sure if the NSPCC is reccomended, but definitely ChildLine. :] It's free to call so just call them on your Mobile phone, or at a payphone somewhere? Anywhere really, as long as you can get through. On the way back from school, just go to a payphone and talk to the Councillers there. They'll probably ask for your address and other details like that, depending on what they think of the situation. Note down the Counciller name if they give you one, that could help alot. Especially if you want to talk to the same person you did, and feel just talking to another person who doesn't know the situation.

What your saying is though, that your mum is the same too? Explain :S

yeh but those threads are quite embarrasing. but i dong give a crap. i have problems, so do you. but my friend really does need help.

and anyway. thanks for the numbers ryan. ive written down everything and will speak to him later. +rep

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Originally Posted by Sway

yeh but those threads are quite embarrasing. but i dong give a crap. i have problems, so do you. but my friend really does need help.

and anyway. thanks for the numbers ryan. ive written down everything and will speak to him later. +rep

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What :S Are you saying I have problems :S

yes purposeless, you certainly do have problems.

but back on topic. post some more or let it die.

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Originally Posted by Sway

yeh but those threads are quite embarrasing. but i dong give a crap. i have problems, so do you. but my friend really does need help.

and anyway. thanks for the numbers ryan. ive written down everything and will speak to him later. +rep

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I dont have problems... I was born with them, and I've grown to like them. No problem darlin', hope your friend is ok. <3

the first line was generally to everybody.

but yeh, thanks!

Seems like my situation pretty much, apart from the physical abuse part.

Only sometimes though.

Its not very nice.

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Originally Posted by Favourtism

I think you can move out at 15 or at least someone I know has. Is he close to 15 or only just turned 14?

It's still best to take everones advice first though as he seems like he really loves his mum.

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I think it's 16, with your parents permission.

Tell him to ring up childline or some councillor person at school

Or just have 1 - 1

At the end I saw you said she having an operation. Maybe the build up to it has stressed her out and makes her feel this way. This is still no excuse for her behaviour. The only option I would suggest, but I wouldn't do it myself is to call the Child Line. It would be a big decision and a hard one to make. I do hope the problem gets resolved and everything is ok in the near future for your friend. :8

If you have serious concerns then you can contact the NSPCC or ChidLine yourself and explain the situation. Failing that you could see whether or not he would be willing to talk to somebody at school about it, a member of staff, as I think I am right in saying that the school has a legal obligation to follow it up or pass the information on to the relevant authorities.

atat paul. i would but it might ruin our friendship.

and @ elliot.. its been like this for years aparently

and @ andeh, 1-1 dont work.

but ive spoken to him. hes said to his spoken to his mum saying he is going to call the child line if things dont get better. he has all the numbers and all the advice and is going to speak to them tomorrow about what would happen.

so thanks.

personally, i'd keep out of it.

he asked me to help. thats why im helping.

It's a delicate situation
He loves him mum even though she does this, i wouldnt suggest phoning childline as something law-related probably would happen, which he probably wouldnt want.

Perhaps somebody in the family could refer her to anger manegment classes, or even a phycologist, thats certainley what i would do before getting the outside agencies involed

Good luck to him :)

OMG! I'm reading a book similar to this situation. It's about a boy who is physically abused by his mother but then ends up escaping because the teachers at school called the cops and he is now a foster child. It's a true story. Umm, I think maybe he should talk to his mom or somebody to help him because this isn't right.