Abusive Boyfriend?

Right, I'm close mates with this girl and her boyfriend's a bit of a ****. Basically, we were discussing the Chris Brown/Rihanna suituation on how he beat her up, and I told her that any woman should leave her partner if he did that to her, and she disagreed saying that her boyfriend does it to her, and she doesn't mind because he's 'only messing around'.

I asked her what the 'messing around' involved; and she just said general hitting (for example; he stood on her brand new white shoes, so she slap him as a joke... and he slapped her back :/) but then she told me that he's held a knife to her throat before... 'as a joke'.

I told her that she was crazy being with him, and she said that she was sticking by him because that's what love is. I told her that love doesn't involve beating her up and putting a knife to her throat but she just didn't listen :/

So, what shall I do? She won't listen to anything I'll say because she's more likely to go with her hurt than what I say... I want her to be happy, but I don't want her to get hurt... literally.

And then there's the fact that if she does leave him, will he do anything? He's a 19 year old drug dealer :/

Thoughts? Ideas?

It's her life, she can live it how she wants

Lol he boyfriend sounds messed up

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Originally Posted by Soy

It's her life, she can live it how she wants

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Tada, don't try being no special "God send".

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Originally Posted by Kardan

Right, I'm close mates with this girl and her boyfriend's a bit of a ****. Basically, we were discussing the Chris Brown/Rihanna suituation on how he beat her up, and I told her that any woman should leave her partner if he did that to her, and she disagreed saying that her boyfriend does it to her, and she doesn't mind because he's 'only messing around'.

I asked her what the 'messing around' involved; and she just said general hitting (for example; he stood on her brand new white shoes, so she slap him as a joke... and he slapped her back :/) but then she told me that he's held a knife to her throat before... 'as a joke'.

I told her that she was crazy being with him, and she said that she was sticking by him because that's what love is. I told her that love doesn't involve beating her up and putting a knife to her throat but she just didn't listen :/

So, what shall I do? She won't listen to anything I'll say because she's more likely to go with her hurt than what I say... I want her to be happy, but I don't want her to get hurt... literally.

And then there's the fact that if she does leave him, will he do anything? He's a 19 year old drug dealer :/

Thoughts? Ideas?

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Her grave :eusa_whis.

Its upto her, if she wants to be with him let her.

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Originally Posted by Kardan

Right, I'm close mates with this girl and her boyfriend's a bit of a ****. Basically, we were discussing the Chris Brown/Rihanna suituation on how he beat her up, and I told her that any woman should leave her partner if he did that to her, and she disagreed saying that her boyfriend does it to her, and she doesn't mind because he's 'only messing around'.

I asked her what the 'messing around' involved; and she just said general hitting (for example; he stood on her brand new white shoes, so she slap him as a joke... and he slapped her back :/) but then she told me that he's held a knife to her throat before... 'as a joke'.

I told her that she was crazy being with him, and she said that she was sticking by him because that's what love is. I told her that love doesn't involve beating her up and putting a knife to her throat but she just didn't listen :/

So, what shall I do? She won't listen to anything I'll say because she's more likely to go with her hurt than what I say... I want her to be happy, but I don't want her to get hurt... literally.

And then there's the fact that if she does leave him, will he do anything? He's a 19 year old drug dealer :/

Thoughts? Ideas?

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wow this situation is all too familiar ....
no matter how hard you try to tell her him slapping her is wrong, she won't leave him & she'll make excuses for why he does it. Apparently guys think slapping or even hitting a girl is acceptable (check the thread on here :rolleyes:) so he maybe doesn't think it's that bad but i really doubt it. I don't think anything you say to her is gonna change her mind, tell her girl friends 'cause they'll probably be more likely to help her in this case rather than guys, she'll just think u're jealous :P

just advise her on what shes really dealing with and if shes smart she'll come round and ditch him. if not, its her responsibility.

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Originally Posted by Minstrels

Tada, don't try being no special "God send".

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i see
don't try being no special "comedian".

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Originally Posted by buttons

wow this situation is all too familiar ....
no matter how hard you try to tell her him slapping her is wrong, she won't leave him & she'll make excuses for why he does it. Apparently guys think slapping or even hitting a girl is acceptable (check the thread on here :rolleyes:) so he maybe doesn't think it's that bad but i really doubt it. I don't think anything you say to her is gonna change her mind, tell her girl friends 'cause they'll probably be more likely to help her in this case rather than guys, she'll just think u're jealous :P

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I can't see any post in here which is condoning violence, we're simply saying that if she wants to carry on with the relationship even if he's hitting her then it's up to her.

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Originally Posted by Soy

i see
don't try being no special "comedian".

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How am I being a comedian? If she wants to live that way then let her, he wont be able to change her and will most probably lose her as a mate because she'll get pissed off with him bugging her?

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Originally Posted by Minstrels

I can't see any post in here which is condoning violence, we're simply saying that if she wants to carry on with the relationship even if he's hitting her then it's up to her.

How am I being a comedian? If she wants to live that way then let her, he wont be able to change her and will most probably lose her as a mate because she'll get pissed off with him bugging her?

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i was talking about the "is it right to hit a woman" thread :S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S

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Originally Posted by buttons

i was talking about the "is it right to hit a woman" thread :S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S

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Oh right, sorry my mistake.

If she leaves him, hes prob kill her

I'd beat the living day lights out of the little druggy ****wit.

if they're actually messing about laughing or woteva nd not harming each ufa its ok
but holding a knife to sum1s neck is a bit silly really

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Originally Posted by Minstrels

How am I being a comedian? If she wants to live that way then let her, he wont be able to change her and will most probably lose her as a mate because she'll get pissed off with him bugging her?

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Someone needs to go back to school, I believe I said she should live her life how she wants?

tbh, its her life and she has to make her own mistakes. her current relationship being one. she obviously knows what's going on, and if you can't talk her out of the relationship there's not much more you can do.

Why don't you just call the police when his doing drug dealing, that way he'll get arrested for a long time. They split up.

^^ Above is only if your risking it, You'll probably get killed if you get caught calling the police

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Originally Posted by buttons

wow this situation is all too familiar ....
no matter how hard you try to tell her him slapping her is wrong, she won't leave him & she'll make excuses for why he does it. Apparently guys think slapping or even hitting a girl is acceptable (check the thread on here :rolleyes:) so he maybe doesn't think it's that bad but i really doubt it. I don't think anything you say to her is gonna change her mind, tell her girl friends 'cause they'll probably be more likely to help her in this case rather than guys, she'll just think u're jealous :P

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What Jen said is right, they always seem to accept it for some reason.
She's deluded, one day she'll see sense you just need to be there for her when she does.

In all fairness and respect most guys are idiots lol i can be sometimes but there would be no way were id take it far enough to hit a woman, theres guys in my school who hit girls they think its a way of flirting i supose but you can tell the girls dont like it, no offence mate but id say your friend should dump the guy and find someone else, who acctualy cares about her and wouldnt hurt her!

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Originally Posted by Leaahh.

What Jen said is right, they always seem to accept it for some reason.
She's deluded, one day she'll see sense you just need to be there for her when she does.

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i don't think she's actually deluded, she will know he's wrong but she'll make excuses up to others and pretend she's happy with him, cause she'll think maybe if she persuades others it's fine she'll persuade herself and think it's acceptable

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Originally Posted by DarkEnemy

In all fairness and respect most guys are idiots lol i can be sometimes but there would be no way were id take it far enough to hit a woman, theres guys in my school who hit girls they think its a way of flirting i supose but you can tell the girls dont like it, no offence mate but id say your friend should dump the guy and find someone else, who acctualy cares about her and wouldnt hurt her!

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play fighting is a way of flirting but if they punch them with intention to hurt them then they're a bit stupid