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Been with my girlfriend for 2 and a half years now, and ive just been given an opportunity to go to America for 4 years to study in a unviersity and do a soccer scolarship. Its 4 years i know but she says that she loves me and doesnt want me to go but if i do then she wont be there when i come back.
Why wont she understand that if i go and do well i can become professional and make all of our lives better.
Not a very nice girlfriend if shes making you decide between her and your future :s
Forget her is all i can say if she thinks like that.
Education is always more important.
Forget about her and if all goes well you can come back and start fresh.
She's not worth it, you'll feel like a mug if she dumps you at a later date, knowing you had a decent chance and you turned it down for her.
If you come back a profesional footballer shell come running back in seconds.
Kill her
I agree with everyone else. She is being selfish, and is stopping you from reaching your full potential. And besides, she might end up dumping you at a later date anyway.
Most likely because 4 years is long time. If you think about how much you like each other, a few months even weeks can be a long time to not see one another. Imagine how you would feel if she was the one to be leaving and how upset you would be.
After so long people will want to move and a relationship can become impractical, especially at a young age. You need to sit down and talk about it and care for one another's feelings.
I agree with this completely. She shouldn't make you choose.Quote:
Originally Posted by brandon
I don't see why you need to go abroad to a country that doesn't really know about football, you should try get into West Ham accademy or something, but yeah plenty of more fish in the sea you'll find someone out there.
Cos u don't get scorlarships in EnglandQuote:
Originally Posted by Skepta
i say go for it XX i would
You could get into under 18s if you're good though then go onto being a proffesional, you should try out some "junior" teams, since your girlfriend is being difficult.
Why should he have to adjust his lifes ambitions and such just for her?Quote:
Originally Posted by Skepta
I agree you should go and do what you feel is best but I gaurantee that if u come back a pro footballer then she will want u.Quote:
Originally Posted by Havoline
if she loves you then she should be able to wait, instead of giving you an ultimatum. its not like as if u cant visit her or vice versa.Quote:
Originally Posted by K-Lash
Some of my freinds went off and did soccer scolarships in Wales.. I'm sure they offer them in England?
And good for her, would you seriosly want to wait for a partner for four years
Americans can't play football so don't go.
Exactly like everyone else says
If she loves you she will wait
Tell her you will call her often and she should support your future not ruin it
If she said that you won't have her when you get back she's being extremly selfish and you can do better x
If she doesn't see that letting you go would be the best thing for you then she obviously is just being selfish. Tell her that you want to go and if she loves you she would be able to wait, it's not like you won't be able to visit eachother.Quote:
Originally Posted by K-Lash
forget her, you'll be pulling girls left right and centre when your pro.
You'd feel like **** if you decided not to go and then you broke up...
I'm sorry, but yes you do.Quote:
Originally Posted by K-Lash
Seriously, take this oportunity! Ul always regret it if u dont, shes just being selfish. She may not be in ur life forever anyway, it may seem that way at the moment but u cant predict the future. Id go and live your life, if shes not there when u get back then it was never meant to be.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skepta
all university sports are very competitive, and they give pretty generous scholarships for good players. so even if he doesnt go pro, he's got an education.
go to america,
dont stay with her
Take the scholarship, its something your likely ever going to get one shot at.
The relationship probabaly wouldnt last 4 years anyway, espeally if she isnt willing to even attempt to wait for you. Though honestly even if she did, chances are over 4 years you would both grow apart anyway.
Just my 2 cents.
@OP: The question I put to you is "could you have a future with someone so selfish?"
Chase a future before you settle down.
Just talk to her, explain everything. If she loves you, she will understand.
I cannot reitorate what everyone else is saying enough. You have to follow your dreams because this is once in a lifetime.
I am in no doubt that you love this girl and no doubt she loves you. I think she needs reassurance. She's probably scared of losing you and doesn't know how to handle that emotion. If you try and combat that by telling her you'll speak over Skype, you'll visit her etc then maybe she'll calm down because at the end of the day, you're leaving her. It's not an easy thing to deal with at any age so perhaps see it from her point of view a little bit? It's easy to call her a cow and selfish but it must be hard for her.
I am sure once you've calmed her down and explained things she'll come around because love isn't about self containment and selfishness. It's about growing as people and aiding each other's growth. If she doesn't want that then perhaps she isn't worth it at all?
My granddad had the same choice. He was given the opportunity to play for Ipswich (who were 'very good' at the time but I think it was just him bigging himself up!) and he was given an ultimatium as well by his girlfriend.
He chose to stay with his girlfriend. They got married, had kids but later divorced. One of those kids was my mum and so if he chose football, I would not be here so THANK YOU NANA! :P
Why are people saying she's selfish? pre-judging before you even know her. 4 years is a VERY long time to be away from your partner, she's giving him the truth which imo is better than her saying she will wait for him and when he's there finishing him. People can't help how they feel.
Most of you on here have probably never experienced what real love feels like.
On the soccer point, go with your heart and weigh up if you actually see a future with this girl, and the odds on pursuing a career from your scholarship. Which outweighs the other?
This isn't really a question for a forum, it's one you need to think seriously about and go with your gut instinct.
And a final note on this "can become professional and make all of our lives better. " if by that you mean money, money isn't everything.
BUT as i said go with what you feel is right, and if you do persue your career as a footballer, then good luck, work hard and the rewards will come :)
Ask yourself "If she had an oppotunity like that but in something else, would she stay instead?"
I'd go with what your heart tells you but theres plenty more people to meet, I mean you might meet someone in America, you just never know. Just keep in mind that shes not the only one on this Earth. 2bh I'd rather have a future in a career I love then give it up and stay here just to make everyone else happy, in a choice like this you should think about how you feel not what everyone else feels, because when you come back everyone will be so proud of you.
Couldn't she apply to move to america?
If the girl couldn't accept that your going to solely get an education for your future, then shes not the one. A girl has to understand you cant give up your total future just for her. A true Girlfriend would understand and not be so selfish to hold you back from your education.
But overall its your choice....I would head out to America :]
Scholarships do exist in England... There's a very posh primary school in Berkshire that gives them out :/
But yeah, if you want to go, then go. If she's saying stuff like "If you go, then I won't be here for you when you get back", then she doesn't deserve you ;)
You could have an American chick ;)
Go for the scholarship.
Btw just out of curiosity, what school offered you the scholarship?
i can't really blame her to be honest, but then again i couldn't blame you for going to your scholarship. :rolleyes:
I have the same problem. I'm wanting to go to a London University to do International Fashion degrees, these are the only ones in the UK to combine Spanish and Art (Fashion/Interior)... but she wants to go to Bristol, to follow a language career. She is giving me the guilt trip about it all.... Grrr, girls.
I think you should try bring her with you somehow?
Or you might just have to let your love go. It's sad, but imagine, if you become brilliant and famous; it'll be worth it. I'm sure she'd take you back then :P
Good luck with it all