Help needed [+9 rep]

guys I need help. I dunno if I should ask this chick out or not..

anyway. I spend A LOT of time with my girl mate, and we seem to get a long very good, sleep in the same bed together if we crash the night somewhere, she flirts with me a bit and generally when we are together it's for longer then a few hours. So I think I should ask her "the question" soon (girlfriend boyfriend etc!)
The only problem I have is that she is "seeing" someone, I think it's more of a casual get together have sex kinda thing?? I dunno anything about the guy apart from his name! And he rings up when we are together. Oh yeah he is 24/25 and she is into older men. But I'm 3 or 4 months younger then her..

So do you think i should I ask her, and if so what would be the best way :-S
Everyone (dad, my boss,, my mates etc) say she is into me but I don't know, she has never hinted at it when we are together?

Just do it tbh, youll never know unless you try. I mean whats the worst that can happen it might be awkward for a few moments and she says no? But you won't lose your friendship over that your just sharing your feelings. For the guy if you don't know him and thats all you think they're relationship is then it shouldnt matter. Although if you do go out you might want to make sure that casual thing stops :P

You've got nothing to lose, next time your having a chat just tell her what you think of her and how you feel, see how she reacts.

If it turns out she wants to tay friends, make sure she knows thats cool with you.

It's either find out what she thinks, or forever wonder what if.

You both even sleep in the same bed, you both sound perfect for eachother and it sounds that she isn't even serious with her and this guy, you'll never know if you din't try.

That's pretty weird if she's with you most of the time and stuff but into older men. If i was you i'd still give it a try but things may go awkward afterwards if she rejects. So if you don't want to lose her i'd say wait abit more until it's pretty obvious but i'd take the risk.

I asked her about her boyfriend and she said:

N Jarrod is my man friend for now...not bf coz I like him but I dunno if I want him to be? I'm so undecided :(

so I dunno tbh. Any suggestions on how to bring it up or on what to say?

I'm normally giving advice :(
I'll +rep u Guys when I'm on a pc

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Originally Posted by Blinger

I asked her about her boyfriend and she said:

N Jarrod is my man friend for now...not bf coz I like him but I dunno if I want him to be? I'm so undecided :(

so I dunno tbh. Any suggestions on how to bring it up or on what to say?

I'm normally giving advice :(
I'll +rep u Guys when I'm on a pc

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Its valentines day tomorrow, give her something? See what she does to that.

I wouldnt buy her anything just yet tbh, if anything ask her to go for a walk and while your walking stop and tell her how you feel or something like that.

Just ask her, or get her to sign up to HxF and i'll send her a loveeeeeeeee poem for ya

when your with her drop little hints

see how she reacts if she reacts in a gd way then go for it
if she dont.. then youll have your answer i guess

Mm that's true but tbh I spend too much on her already, compared to what she buys me. It's like when we hang out I always pay for everything!
I'll was joking around by SMS saying I was her valentine and where my present and kiss was etc and she replied it's in the mailbox..? And then went on to say something about this Jarrod guy to see her reaction, and I was "asleep" so I ignored it. Then at 12:17 I got thus:

Happy valentines day lover :)
Feel loved coz ur the only person I'm saying happy vtines day to :D
Probs coz I do secretly love u...I mean *cough cough no I don't* lol
Anywho ur a good kid. I would send u a textual rose but I dunno how to
I even went to the effort of looking for a good one on the Internet but it's to complicated :( ahhh wells ily fool!!!!!
I actually tried making a rose from something off the Internet
I failed miserably :(

Sorry for double post but editing on a mobile is horrible, merge posts please?

Umm, droppig hints doesn't work. She is to dumb, seriously.

Posts merged by Nicola (Forum Moderator)

Bring out your penis, that'll be a big enough hint.

But seriously you could do the cliche(the french e thing) romance/date moves on her, she'd understand then. Or just blow it out and ask, but I read somewhere if youre scared of rejection say it in a way which you can't be rejected like "hey, maybe we should hook up more often" or something like that.

By the looks of that text I'd say you're safe to ask her :)

i agree with nicki!!
id say its time :)

I think that she can already see some hints as you sleep in the same bed together when you crash the night, aswell as her flirting with you, (your hardly going to not flirt back) But seeing as she is with someone, I think you should just tell her how you feel for now. I mean it's a start. You don't want to put pressure on her by asking her out whilst she's with someone. That would just be majorly awkward. See what she says, and if she feels the same then consider things to her, ask her what she wants to do, and just tell her how you TRULY feel. You never know, she might just pick you if she knew.

Okay I messaged her saying as she was my valentine what we are doing today/tonight, and got this message back:

Well I'm back to work n then I'm seeing Jarrod after like 11:30 coz he finishes work ******edly late n he said he'd make me nachos *shakes fist* n if he doesn't Ima beat the kid. So i'm feeling I have between 4:30 n 11:30 to do anything with u my valentine
What u wanna do?


So she is seeing this me and this guy tonight, i'ma try and bring up how she feels ;)

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Originally Posted by Habbox Cupid

Just ask her, or get her to sign up to HxF and i'll send her a loveeeeeeeee poem for ya

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That brang a smile to my face haha

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Originally Posted by Blinger

Okay I messaged her saying as she was my valentine what we are doing today/tonight, and got this message back:

Well I'm back to work n then I'm seeing Jarrod after like 11:30 coz he finishes work ******edly late n he said he'd make me nachos *shakes fist* n if he doesn't Ima beat the kid. So i'm feeling I have between 4:30 n 11:30 to do anything with u my valentine
What u wanna do?


So she is seeing this me and this guy tonight, i'ma try and bring up how she feels ;)

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Yeh you got nothing to lose and all to gain although you share a bed which to me isnt that much of a big deal. I used to share my bed with alot of girl mates from school and nothing came of it, was just because i would prefer being warm up to someone than freeze on me own :)

Hm looks to me, you should ask the question.She seems to be dropping all these hints which is good. Couldn't hurt to try yeah?
Plus,she didn't admit that he is her bf and I think maybe she is undecided between you and him? If she is too dumb to pick up your hints which you said she is,you shoud be straightforward and tell her your feelings but not really really in a dramatic way haha.

Best of luck though,may the best man wins hahah :)

Hmm, when i asked her about the message about valentines she kinda made it out to sound that she wasn't interested like that. And it was more of a way of just mucking around? I dunno, i recorded it so i could remember how she said it. She just read the message because she 'forgot' what it said and then said what it means in a normal voice.


gar, i didn't ask btw, i haven't got the balls

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Originally Posted by Blinger

Hmm, when i asked her about the message about valentines she kinda made it out to sound that she wasn't interested like that. And it was more of a way of just mucking around? I dunno, i recorded it so i could remember how she said it. She just read the message because she 'forgot' what it said and then said what it means in a normal voice.


gar, i didn't ask btw, i haven't got the balls

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Maybe she was worried that you were freaked out by the message so she tried to act like she wasn't serious by saying that she 'forgot' what it said.

Out of curiousity what did she say it means? referring to the last line here.

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Originally Posted by Nicola

Maybe she was worried that you were freaked out by the message so she tried to act like she wasn't serious by saying that she 'forgot' what it said.

Out of curiousity what did she say it means? referring to the last line here.

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it was literally her JUST reading the SMS as I listen back to it and then I said "cow **** you don't" and she ignored it.

I dunno man.

sounds like shes playing you and jarrod is just a **** buddy. if **** goes sour with him then she'll turn to you..

dude haul ass like usain bolt and get outta there... find a chick that isn't so undecided.

Sounds like she is a really good friend to me - not sure if it's anything more.
Friends like these are worth lots more than a casual relationship.

I think Jarrod is the **** buddy. And I can't just haul my ass outta there, we have been friends for 10 years now! So its kiNSA hardto just leave now

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Originally Posted by Blinger

I think Jarrod is the **** buddy. And I can't just haul my ass outta there, we have been friends for 10 years now! So its kiNSA hardto just leave now

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Just go with the flow if you can and enjoy her friendship. If you want to approach her it's probably better face-to-face as you can judge her body language so if you are getting ' I love you as a friend but nothing else' then you can pass it off as a joke.

mkay i don't care that this thread is over a month old...

ITS ADDITIONAL INFO!

Anyway, the otherday i told her by sms (yep, worst way possible but when we organised to go out somewhere last week she "slept for five hours instead of one or two" and then on sunday when we were going to go out to a club somewhere "her mum talked to her friend for half an hour as she was dropping her (girl)friend off at her house". AND i just wanted to tell her FINALLY since its been pissing me off so much.

So, i told her that she should take a chance on me (i said that on one of her facebook statuses but she totally ignored it)... THE SMS READ

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take a chance on me, i won't '****' you over, and i think i am uhh, trustworth? Lol! :)

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and she replied

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oh is that what you meant? well no one can actually say they won't **** anyone over cox i've heard that before n they have

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so i replied

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Yaha!
Well i have been there for you through "thick and thin", i did try and keep in contact with you back in 08 and 09 when you didn't talk to me for a while .... :) i've rarely been an ******* :(! And the trust level is pretty high i think

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and the interesting reply i got...

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Yeah i'm not doubting that. It defs is there. But there is one prob. Mark. Were very up n down n i'm still completely into him. until i get over him...i don't think i could do any relationship. hence why i keep doing casual flings

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so... i dunno *** i should say at all =/

Oh yeah, i dunno if i have said it yet, but Mark is some guy she met at a club i go to and they have a very... odd relationship, he is 8 years older then us both =/

I would leave this for awhile if I were you. As I said before just enjoy the friendship. It's probably not what you want to hear but reading the text messages there doesn't seem to be anyway she wants a relationship with anybody at the moment. =]

This possibly now, may be the perfect oppurtinity. At the moment - she doesn't want to be in a relationship. So use this time wisely.

For example, try meet up with her more often - give her little hints and stuff while she isn't ready. Then once you think she is ready - ask her.

So basically, your using this time to make her like you more.

Anyway, good luck! I think It'll all work out. :)

Turn down the ovens temperature, aka keep in contact loads, just enough so you don't enter "brother from another mother" area and just enough so you don't become just someone to have a little lol with now and then.

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Originally Posted by Catzsy

I would leave this for awhile if I were you. As I said before just enjoy the friendship. It's probably not what you want to hear but reading the text messages there doesn't seem to be anyway she wants a relationship with anybody at the moment. =]

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Of course its not what i want to hear, lol ;). But, personally i think the opposite, she does want a relationship but only with Mark. The thing is that he has treated her bad some times (as in not talking to her for a while etc) and yeah, i can see it happening again..

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Originally Posted by StalinJoseph

This possibly now, may be the perfect oppurtinity. At the moment - she doesn't want to be in a relationship. So use this time wisely.

For example, try meet up with her more often - give her little hints and stuff while she isn't ready. Then once you think she is ready - ask her.

So basically, your using this time to make her like you more.

Anyway, good luck! I think It'll all work out. :)

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I'm in contact with one of her friends who has been "helping" me too with hints etc.. And how much more of a hint does she need then this? (this was said by my dad on her facebook) "shane BE MORE DIRECT WITH YOUR FEELINGS!!!!" She replied with "lol, owned shane" =/ WHAT THE ****!?!
I do try and meet up with her more often. We usually hang out around 3-4 times a week, that is more then i do with my closest of close mates. Who i only see maybe once a week... (mainly because she lives much closer then them) Have you got some ideas what kind of hints I could say? Her friend said that I should say that I should say that she is beautiful/hot, looks good etc.. but i do that anyway =/ Whenever she says "omg i needa diet" i always say "dude you look fine!"

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Originally Posted by mrselenagomez

Turn down the ovens temperature, aka keep in contact loads, just enough so you don't enter "brother from another mother" area and just enough so you don't become just someone to have a little lol with now and then.

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Funny you say that, i work around ovens almost everyday, lol!
I think I have entered the "brother from another mother" area... We have been friends for 10+ years, so I think i am in this spot :'(.

Well you could always try little hints for example just sit down - look into her eyes, smile and do a little gesture for example stroke her hair or something. Normally, when I tried this it ended with a kiss ;)

Do you know if she is actually attracted to you?? Considering how many flings she seems to be having :P

Seems like she is just toying with you tbh.

There are two people.. One called mark and there WAS Jarrod... So i dunno :S
I dunno if she is attracted to me. Don't plan on asking either, lol !

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Originally Posted by Blinger

Of course its not what i want to hear, lol ;). But, personally i think the opposite, she does want a relationship but only with Mark. The thing is that he has treated her bad some times (as in not talking to her for a while etc) and yeah, i can see it happening again..


'(.

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Yes I believe you are right. The good thing though is that over time she will forget him unless she renews the realtionship. You sound like a good and understanding friend. She is lucky! :D

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Originally Posted by Catzsy

Yes I believe you are right. The good thing though is that over time she will forget him unless she renews the realtionship. You sound like a good and understanding friend. She is lucky! :D

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When she came over yesterday, it was the first time I had seen her in maybe 1.5-2 weeks (its a "long" time for us =/) and we acted normal together. She didn't say anything about the sms i sent her or anything.. ;)
I tried to give her a little massage (;)) but with only one hand because she had a sore back. lol..

And like everytime she visits at night, i fell asleep while we were together. It sucks when i have to wake up to go for work in a few hours and she is over !

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Originally Posted by Blinger

When she came over yesterday, it was the first time I had seen her in maybe 1.5-2 weeks (its a "long" time for us =/) and we acted normal together. She didn't say anything about the sms i sent her or anything.. ;)
I tried to give her a little massage (;)) but with only one hand because she had a sore back. lol..

And like everytime she visits at night, i fell asleep while we were together. It sucks when i have to wake up to go for work in a few hours and she is over !

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Sounds promising! She obviously values your friendship. xxx

Yes she does value your friendship a lot.. hmm I can see your not the type of guy that'd just go for it straight away as in go up to her and lips her and stuff.. hmm maybe if you try to get a few fun days out or just try telling her in little parts (so I again, like hinting I suppose.)

Or maybe set it up so that she finds out that you like her without you telling her? For example, get a friend to tell her. Then ask what reaction she had and then see what she says/does.

If she says nothing - she probably isnt interested.

Just a way if your shy about it. Good thing is ofc, you can say it was all a joke if it all goes wrong :eusa_danc

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Originally Posted by Catzsy

Sounds promising! She obviously values your friendship. xxx

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Defs does! Enough to stay awake messaging me at 2am in the morning even if she has to go to school the next day!!

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Originally Posted by StalinJoseph

Yes she does value your friendship a lot.. hmm I can see your not the type of guy that'd just go for it straight away as in go up to her and lips her and stuff.. hmm maybe if you try to get a few fun days out or just try telling her in little parts (so I again, like hinting I suppose.)

Or maybe set it up so that she finds out that you like her without you telling her? For example, get a friend to tell her. Then ask what reaction she had and then see what she says/does.

If she says nothing - she probably isnt interested.

Just a way if your shy about it. Good thing is ofc, you can say it was all a joke if it all goes wrong :eusa_danc

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I certainly am a shy person, no doubt about it. But the stuff we do is... different? I mean, you don't just take a random to get yourself cleaned up down there (i was in the "waiting room") do you?, She knows that i like her, i told her by sms (+o() we catch up all the time, and fun days for us are more afternoons to evenings (she wakes up late, and i need an afternoon nap). So we tend to have movie nights, go to the drive in movies, just chill out at hers etc.

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Originally Posted by Catzsy

I would leave this for awhile if I were you. As I said before just enjoy the friendship. It's probably not what you want to hear but reading the text messages there doesn't seem to be anyway she wants a relationship with anybody at the moment. =]

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I thought she was calling you Mark when I first read that text! :P I think Catzsy's right though. If you keep being persistent when you know the situation, she might end up thinking you're pestering her and just get pissed off. It's probably best to wait until she's ready.

Your so like me haha. But don't make my mistake - I was too shy to act and it ended up that she stopped liking me and that way I lost her forever probably... but if I would of acted - it would all of turned out different. Just ask her stuff like "So are ya ready for a relationship with someone?" little things like that should make her think that your getting ready to ask her.