How vital are you to your Social Group?

This weekend is the first weekend I've stayed in since November.
I woke up this morning with missed calls and lots of drunken texts etc, my friends were still partying and wanted me to go out (I had no money so I couldn't anyway) but it got me thinking, how vital are you to your social group?
Do you count yourself the alpha?

I've always been used to being close to the epicentre of any of my social groups. I have two, one I share with my twin brother and one that he isn't involved in. I would say when it comes to my social groups I'm pretty much centre to plans, normally I'd organise parties etc and a lot of the time people would ask/depend on me for what we're doing etc. It's probably more to do with me being very controlling. I've never been used to taking the back seat or being easily dismissed. I'm used to getting my way but my friends wouldn't really view it as so, I guess I always do what they wanna do any way as they know I'd be open to change.

what about yourselves?

we don't have an alpha, it is literally individual people with their own lives. no-one is 'important' like if one person cant make it to a party its fine... we can all have fun with each other.
uni its a bit diff tho i guess cause you have the 'leader' who plans uni nights out, then there's a guy who everyone likes and if he doesn't come then a lot of people won't come cause its boring without him, 2 of my friends won't go unless i'm going too

I would be the one who makes jokes and can have a good laugh (and sometimes get carried away lol) but also the one who will listen if you need someone to talk to but I wouldn't say we have 'alphas'.

Hmm, this has me thinking! I have 3 groups i hang with everyday I spread out my time with hanging with each, cause i feel it's better that way but with the first group I'm just an 'addition' nothing special, everyone notices me so that is good for me (cause i never get noticed) in my second group I am the "gay kid" which by all means is fine with me, considering it's all girls :/ which i am not entirely happy about but really nothing i can do, and in my second group, they say the word 'gay' out loud which makes me get used to the fact that not everyone knows :) (rambling a bit) third group actually the group i would say 'alpha' in but not consisting of a lot of people, so i really don't like being called the 'leader/alpha' but it's the way it is. That's my story! :)

I don't really have a social group so I wouldn't say I was important at all.. even if I did have a social group :P

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Originally Posted by Zak

I don't really have a social group so I wouldn't say I was important at all.. even if I did have a social group :P

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Exactly the same here! I just have friends really...

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Originally Posted by buttons

we don't have an alpha, it is literally individual people with their own lives. no-one is 'important' like if one person cant make it to a party its fine... we can all have fun with each other.
uni its a bit diff tho i guess cause you have the 'leader' who plans uni nights out, then there's a guy who everyone likes and if he doesn't come then a lot of people won't come cause its boring without him, 2 of my friends won't go unless i'm going too

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us either, and we all have our own separate group of friends we go out with too but ultimately would consider each other best friends over them

for the specific friendship group i'm talking about though a lot of organising is done through me because a few of them have gone off each other and don't like talking

I do most of the organising just because everyone else is totally rubbish at it but I wouldn't call myself their leader since I have no need to surround myself with insubordinates in order to feel wanted

Urmm I'd say that nobody notices me and nobody in my group would care, or even notice, if I vanished suddenly
Like seriously i'm never invited anywhere, they all avoid talking to me etc, im moving away in June and no one cares but katies moving just down the road and everyone's in tears about it

I wasn't in school today and no one's bothered but if claires off school everyone's panicking and messaging her asking if she's okay

So yeah I'm not important in my group it appears hahahaha

Definitely not vital

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I have about 3 different group of friends and there is no leader for any group. We don't really do anything unless we're all there.

not an integral part but a welcome addition i guess. wouldnt like the responsibility of being expected to organise everything, everyone just tends to go with the flow.

aww cerys thats so sad :(

dont really have a social group anymore although the last time I was in one, I wasn't really the alpha, more just someone on the sidelines although I prefered that flexibility to move from group to group rather than being attached to one specific one.

Not sure really.

I think in my friendship group back home in Liverpool, myself and my best friend who usually organise everything as the rest are hopeless at that.

I'm definitely not as important as some people, but that's to be expected because I've only started being in that social group since Novemberish. Whenever I'm off they'll sent me texts though, so it's not like they don't notice me :)

My school group had about 11 people. Within that would have been smaller friendship groups. I was kinda the glue. eg. my friends Alex and Rebecca would have really only been close to me and stayed in the bigger group because I was there.

Now I only have two small group of close friends! One from home, one from Uni, and I have a really close friend I met on habbo years ago.

I wouldn't say anyone in my friendship group is more important than another. If someone isn't there then thats fine, we will still have fun just as much as if the person was there.

yeh im like you and im in two groups really 1 being with my twin sister and 1 that she isnt in
wouldnt say there are leaders in either of them though

i used to always feel like i was always left out of stuff in my group, found out this year that they never really did stuff anyway, (but they did like used to before sixth form when they didnt know me so well other than like my best mate). this year though it's sorta like really picked up i suppose, and like i always think of myself as a worthless addition that no1 cares about cause like if im not there no1 cares, but if my best mate aint there (like he werent here for 3 days last week and everyone was literally in tears about it), but according to all of them i'm an integral part so idk, but i do a lot of the organising and stuff at least though now to make sure i'm not left out, and i do at least seem to be the secret holder for most of the group knowing all of the secrets and who else knows them and everything lool

I'm king of the Cardiff Group aint that right @Smurfed-; @Shonly; @Phil; @Inseriousity.; ;);)



Asides from the amazing friends I get to see every once in a while from here, I don't have any other friends and have never had a 'social group' so I wouldn't really know haha. I never go out or anything to socialise but I'm guessing I certainly wouldn't be that vital though as I'm a lot quieter than most people and kinda just go with the flow. :P

I had a social group in school like 10 of us i wasnt really that important tbh.

In college, nope.

gonna apply it to the social group that i hang around w at lunch (even though i'd say only 2 of them are my very close friends, but i luv them all!)
i wouldn't say i'm too vital, but people seem to miss me when i'm gone or ask where i am..... i know a few of my friends wouldn't go places w/o me but yeah, just depends where they're going etc and who else is going. if there's someone else they're close to i'm sure they wouldn't mind me not being there

I'd say a lot of people here either downplay their "importance" or don't realise how "important" they are to their friends. I learnt a few years back that I actually had a greater impact on others than I really thought and I'd say I'm just as "important" as anyone else.

I wouldn't go as far to say that I am an alpha, but my presence in my social group has made a big enough impact that if I were to suddenly leave out of nowhere (like move) that it would cause what you would call a ripple in the group. It happened at my old school, and the ripple remained for a week or so before they got used to me not being around (but at my old school I was the alpha in my social group, so there is that)

I'm pretty much the outsider. :/


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yh @Liva; i used to the the outsider too cause they had been best friends since they were like 4 and i, whilst being good friends with them through the years, had a different friendship group up until age 15.

fell out with that group and started hanging out with my current and felt outsider cause there was 4 of them and they all had a best friend within the group. now it's like we're a group but all have our own special friendships with each other, i actually tend to hang out with one at a time like one for clubbing with, one for travelling with and speaking about life, one for when i went to gym etc

In college I believe I'm just as important as everyone else tbh, like if I'm five minutes late I get worried phone calls asking where I am and texting me etc. but I don't believe it makes me special it's probably just because I'm rarely not there??

Outside of college I have friends but not a group anymore really as i stopped hanging out with them after school, like my friends would hang out but wouldn't hang out if I wasn't there as they only know each other through me. I'm friends with my closest friends college friends (if that makes any sense..) but I wouldn't consider myself to be in their social circle, just an extra addition if I'm ever up there or if they visit here.

i dont ever feel that vital, not in a group sense anyway.

It's certain people who like me to be there more then anything.

It's weird really to explain my social group as now half my friends are all at different uni's and the rest (including me) haven't gone yet has effected the dynamics of the group. The smaller group I keep to now with the remainder of my friends who haven't left yet I would say I do most of the organising but only because my friends are ridiculously lazy. I wouldn't say I was a leader or anyone else in the group was. But I would hope I would be missed if I couldn't do something and the rest went out without me haha