Earning more than your partner

mostly aimed at people who date the opposite sex but feel free to answer/give ur input


girls; how would u feel about earning more than ur man?
boys; how would u feel earning less than ya woman?

i used to think there was no way possible that i would want to earn more than my partner if they were male BUT now i actually think it would be a boost to my confidence? i don't think @scottish; would mind either since we both pay our bills equally so it shouldn't matter what we're earning as long as we're paying our share.

Thread moved by Empired (Trialist Forum Moderator) from 'Discuss Anything' as I feel it's better suited here

I can't say I really mind either way, it is quite nice to go to dinner with somebody and have similar sized meals just so we finish together. Definitely couldn't deal with someone eating a lettuce leaf and a grain of rice, it'd make me feel bad eating around them. As for eating less than a woman, I have odd eating habits where I go days without eating sometimes, so I don't see it being an issue or a threat to my masculinity or whatever.

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Originally Posted by Kyle

I can't say I really mind either way, it is quite nice to go to dinner with somebody and have similar sized meals just so we finish together. Definitely couldn't deal with someone eating a lettuce leaf and a grain of rice, it'd make me feel bad eating around them. As for eating less than a woman, I have odd eating habits where I go days without eating sometimes, so I don't see it being an issue or a threat to my masculinity or whatever.

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did u read my thread as 'eating more than your partner' :l

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Originally Posted by buttons

i used to think there was no way possible that i would want to earn more than my partner if they were male

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really? why?
Your wage (and career) is such a personal thing that I can't imagine someone deliberately choosing to earn less than their partner (excluding men or women who decide to stay at home and bring up the kids but that's not really about money).

If a woman earned more than me I wouldn't have a problem with it because my male pride is more about celebrating my own personal achievements rather than it being threatened by someone else's.

Personally I don't really mind. Aslong as we both earn a really decent amount at the height of our career I'm not too bothered!

If there's a massive gap though it'd make me feel a bit dfkjgnkjreg e.g one of us earns 18k and the other 40k. One of us is clearly gonna leach from the other at one point and it's gonna end terribly (i say this from my own experience haha)

yes I am laughing so much

I'm so hungry I've only eaten an apple today cos they were giving them free at the library and I just read that thread about weight

as for earning... I'm not really very money-driven, so long as my partner and I both enjoy what we do it wouldn't cross my mind how much we each earn. I guess if I earnt less it would be a little bit odd since that's not really how it goes and there's stigma attached to guys who are reliant on their partners but if we're both on a living wage and able to support ourselves then yeah I'm cool with earning a little and being happy.

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Originally Posted by Inseriousity.

really? why?
Your wage (and career) is such a personal thing that I can't imagine someone deliberately choosing to earn less than their partner (excluding men or women who decide to stay at home and bring up the kids but that's not really about money).

If a woman earned more than me I wouldn't have a problem with it because my male pride is more about celebrating my own personal achievements rather than it being threatened by someone else's.

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because i was like 11 and liked the idea of a much richer hubby? not saying i would have chose a job with a lesser income, no way, just that i thought i wouldn't be happy in a marriage where im 'superior' to my man. like i say i was young and my thoughts were men earn women cook/clean :P obviously now i realize a woman is more than her man and that one day i/we might have to live on only my wage! (Happened to my parents. My dad earned. Mum cooked/cleaned. They split up. My mum got into debt and found it difficult to get a job after being out of one for so long).

me and my gf earn around the same. I'd like to earn more than her so I can treat her more and pay for things more, but we have the same out goings so both just as skint as each other haha. works well really though

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Originally Posted by :Cerys

Personally I don't really mind. Aslong as we both earn a really decent amount at the height of our career I'm not too bothered!

If there's a massive gap though it'd make me feel a bit dfkjgnkjreg e.g one of us earns 18k and the other 40k. One of us is clearly gonna leach from the other at one point and it's gonna end terribly (i say this from my own experience haha)

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were you dating a sugar daddy cerys :O i am shocked
or did you win the lottery and not tell us ;)

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Originally Posted by Inseriousity.

were you dating a sugar daddy cerys :O i am shocked
or did you win the lottery and not tell us ;)

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WHAT could be both, who knows oo ;)

no i mean thats how my parents were and it ended awfully due to the money issues like cos my dad leached
E.G the xbox broke so we sent it off for repair and my dad used my mums money to buy another xbox specifically to use for the week we didnt have our old one . .

Well I can't say that I definitely won't care but I'd like to think that it wouldn't bother me too much. I think a huge gap might be problematic as Cerys said - a lot of money always comes between people I think :(

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Originally Posted by :Cerys

WHAT could be both, who knows oo ;)

no i mean thats how my parents were and it ended awfully due to the money issues like cos my dad leached
E.G the xbox broke so we sent it off for repair and my dad used my mums money to buy another xbox specifically to use for the week we didnt have our old one . .

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if they're married would they not have a joint account with all money going into it

especially at the point where you have kids, i'd have a joint account with all money going into it and it being 'ours' even if I were on 100k and @buttons; on 20k..

Not everyone has/wants joint accounts!! I wouldn't.

I don't have a problem with a wage gap, people earn what they deserve for their work! I wouldn't be bothered if I earned more than my partner but if they were going to use my (hopefully high!!) salary as an excuse to slob around, do nothing or stick in an 'easy' and awfully-paying job then I think I'd really struggle to stay with them.

However... I'm so hard-working and career-driven it could be more down to that! I just struggle to understand people who choose to stay in those easy, dead-end jobs with rubbish salaries and barely paying the bills each month, is there no desire to try and get something better?

I think it would get hard long-term though as if you, say, bought a house and one person earned a LOT more, they'd want a nice place to live, but most couples would want to go half-and-half as they're equally owners if they're on the deed! And furniture, presents, all things like that. So yeah it is easier to have similar-ish ones in my opinion but a bit of a gap is OK for me.

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Originally Posted by lawrawrrr

Not everyone has/wants joint accounts!! I wouldn't.

I don't have a problem with a wage gap, people earn what they deserve for their work! I wouldn't be bothered if I earned more than my partner but if they were going to use my (hopefully high!!) salary as an excuse to slob around, do nothing or stick in an 'easy' and awfully-paying job then I think I'd really struggle to stay with them.

However... I'm so hard-working and career-driven it could be more down to that! I just struggle to understand people who choose to stay in those easy, dead-end jobs with rubbish salaries and barely paying the bills each month, is there no desire to try and get something better?

I think it would get hard long-term though as if you, say, bought a house and one person earned a LOT more, they'd want a nice place to live, but most couples would want to go half-and-half as they're equally owners if they're on the deed! And furniture, presents, all things like that. So yeah it is easier to have similar-ish ones in my opinion but a bit of a gap is OK for me.

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why not

My parents were typically dad earner mum earned a bit but not near my dad and done all house stuff, all my family similar (uncles, aunties, grandparents, etc).. they all have joint accounts and share their money.

When I get married and go for kids I'd want joint account, all money going into that and it being our money not mine.

When we buy a house, I wouldn't be asking her to put in 50% and me the other 50%, if I earned 100k and she earned 20k, I'd expect to put a much larger portion towards the house..

Maybe I'm old fashioned and since I am in a family that consists of mainly successful marriages then I don't know the stories of breakups over cash etc.

But I couldn't imagine people breaking up over money, but that's just me.

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Originally Posted by scottish

why not

My parents were typically dad earner mum earned a bit but not near my dad and done all house stuff, all my family similar (uncles, aunties, grandparents, etc).. they all have joint accounts and share their money.

When I get married and go for kids I'd want joint account, all money going into that and it being our money not mine.

When we buy a house, I wouldn't be asking her to put in 50% and me the other 50%, if I earned 100k and she earned 20k, I'd expect to put a much larger portion towards the house..

Maybe I'm old fashioned and since I am in a family that consists of mainly successful marriages then I don't know the stories of breakups over cash etc.

But I couldn't imagine people breaking up over money, but that's just me.

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what, you don't want ur own account and savings? like fair enough if you wanted a 200k house that you could afford and i couldn't, then yeah you should pay more money, but i prefer what we do now; one account for our bills where we pay half each then our own accounts for savings etc? entirely depends on the lifestyles each can afford, so i can see how a huge wage gap can make a difference.

n i like how you assume it'd be you earning more ;ll maybe it'll be me earning more!!

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Originally Posted by scottish

why not

My parents were typically dad earner mum earned a bit but not near my dad and done all house stuff, all my family similar (uncles, aunties, grandparents, etc).. they all have joint accounts and share their money.

When I get married and go for kids I'd want joint account, all money going into that and it being our money not mine.

When we buy a house, I wouldn't be asking her to put in 50% and me the other 50%, if I earned 100k and she earned 20k, I'd expect to put a much larger portion towards the house..

Maybe I'm old fashioned and since I am in a family that consists of mainly successful marriages then I don't know the stories of breakups over cash etc.

But I couldn't imagine people breaking up over money, but that's just me.

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Well, I don't really believe in marriage or even long-term relationships so it's probably mainly due to that. I think everything should be split evenly if it's equal, joint ownership - and even further, I don't even believe in blokes paying on dates etc. I have my things, my partner has their things... if a relationship dissolves then it's so much easier.

If I was putting in a lot more for a house than my partner (cos a long-term relationship might happen, I am open to it) then I don't think I'd feel comfortable us having joint ownership when I "own" more of it, technically.

But yeah, I think I have enough drive and talent to have a fairly high-paying job in the future, and I think that money that I earn should be spent how I decide and not how my partner wants to.

he changed his mind after i said that would mean him paying half towards me going out n getting drunk :P

i agree w/ you Laura, equal bills - the other person pays more if they wanna buy expensive shit, and separate accounts. i would begrudge having to pay half on his £100 computer stuff and his petrol when he spends more than me and earns more. doesn't seem fair!

Personally I would't mind, as long as we both have enough money to live on/are comfortable and go out now and again x

My Mrs can earn more money than me any day. The higher the income, the better!

I dont think id care if my partner earned more than me. As long as we're both working and happy at the job then Its fine. I dont believe in the stereotype that men should be earning more or should be the one who provides the money.

i wouldn't care. as long as we're happy in our jobs and have enough money to live comfortable etc

I wouldn't care as long as we had enough money to survive and we were happy with what we were doing. If a female wanted to focus on her career and me taking a step back, then I'm all for it.