Sexuality and causes?

[Casanova]

I was chatting with my step-mum today and we were discussing various things surrounding relationships and general chit chat.

My family are aware of me being gay, and finally it would appear either it's hidden and not thought of, or they've accepted it. Either way I'm not camp or rub it in their faces.

When we were discussing my personal relationship with my mum (she cheated on my dad and then left when I was ten. No i don't see her, no i don't wish to see her and no, it doesn't "hurt") and my step-mum blurted out "I think you're gay because of your mum"
"I think you can't trust women and never would, so you're gay".


We didn't go into it but effectively she feels I bat for the other side because of the trauma from my broken relationship with my mum. I totally disagree and feel that it's just the way i feel - I remember attraction to guys a year or two before my mum left.

My dad, he feels that I'm still straight, I'm not "sure" (he thinks i'm 'inexperienced' but won't let me discuss my sex life if i try to explain that's just not the case...) and i'm going through a "phase".

Has anyone expressed their opinions on your relationships or sexuality? What d'you feel personally?

[beth]

i think yr step-mom/dad are still coming to terms with yr sexuality and henceforth are probably trying to find some level of understanding.

the whole nature vs. nurture argument around homosexuality has been raging for years, and i think it can be a mix of both. i do believe some people are born with an attraction to the same sex pre-defined, however i also believe that sometimes when an individual suffers a trauma at the hands of a member of the opposite sex, subconsciously that does something to the person. especially if this happens at a very young age when your brain is beginning to understand relationships.
i don't think we'll ever truly know, it's an interesting argument though.

[qaxzsw]

People DON'T get turned gay. You are born gay and thats that. you cant change it. you can't change your sexuality. I get really pissed off by people who think its a choice or something made you gay. It's 'god' or nature or w.e.

[beth]

People DON'T get turned gay. You are born gay and thats that. you cant change it. you can't change your sexuality. I get really pissed off by people who think its a choice or something made you gay. It's 'god' or nature or w.e.

don't wet yrself. and i know people for a FACT that turned gay because of a certain incident or a bad time with a guy, so *REMOVED*
and lol god. yum. religion.

Edited by HotelUser (Forum Moderator): Please don't be rude to other forum members, thanks.

[Casanova]

They've had two years. In a way it's actually affected my relationships as a whole coming out to my parents.
My dad won't allow me to discuss my personal relationships so as a general rule no one has ever known of any of my personal relationships. If I come home after a late night if asked i state i stayed at a female friends house 'cos my dad wouldn't appreciate hearing a guys name.

The instance with my mum has affected my relationships as a whole. Of course I'm more mis-trustful but that's not to say i bat for the other side because my mother affected me. Dear god if a froidian was online I'm sure they'd rip this to shreds !

And yea the nature/nurture arguement is difficult. Even from this side i can see sides from either arguement in my life.

[qaxzsw]

Anyone whos got 'turned' gay can **** right off. you dont get turned gay. your born it.

[beth]

They've had two years. In a way it's actually affected my relationships as a whole coming out to my parents.
My dad won't allow me to discuss my personal relationships so as a general rule no one has ever known of any of my personal relationships. If I come home after a late night if asked i state i stayed at a female friends house 'cos my dad wouldn't appreciate hearing a guys name.

The instance with my mum has affected my relationships as a whole. Of course I'm more mis-trustful but that's not to say i bat for the other side because my mother affected me. Dear god if a froidian was online I'm sure they'd rip this to shreds !

And yea the nature/nurture arguement is difficult. Even from this side i can see sides from either arguement in my life.

in your case because you said you felt for a guy before yr mom walking out, i'm more inclined to say nature, however yr mom may have further convinced yr conscience if that makes sense?

p.s: cowbiscuits, since you seem to know everything about human behaviour ever, can you tell me explain to me a few other mysterys of life?

[Casanova]

People DON'T get turned gay. You are born gay and thats that. you cant change it. you can't change your sexuality. I get really pissed off by people who think its a choice or something made you gay. It's 'god' or nature or w.e.

There's arguements for both sides. you're being a tad extreme.

don't wet yrself. and i know people for a FACT that turned gay because of a certain incident or a bad time with a guy, so feel free to climb out of yr own arse.
and lol god. yum. religion.

I could pick a whole in that too. Curiosity killed the cat... you need to have a thought or two before you proceed for something.

Anyone whos got 'turned' gay can **** right off. you dont get turned gay. your born it.

Stop being an idiot, let people express themselves... I WANT TO BREAK FREE!!! (chorus).

[qaxzsw]

Ok, well I'm gay, say i get abused by a guy i am in a relationship with, am I suddenly gonna think omg i hate men they abuse me -turns straight- No, its in the mind, you are born with a nautral attraction to male or female, or both.

[beth]

I could pick a whole in that too. Curiosity killed the cat... you need to have a thought or two before you proceed for something.

i agree, but i know people who had very very bad childhood experiences with men (their dads/uncles etc) and has rebelled against the opposite sex since, and anyone who tries to imply that NATURALLY happened is chatting **** and not taking all parameters into consideration.

but then we will never have the chance to bring her up in a different environment to compare the differences.

i know why people get angry about it, because i know by implying their is an environmental cause to sexuality almost means i'm saying it's a choice, but i'm not. i'm talking about the subconscious fully here, not the conscious mind.