One thing that I can never fathom out?

[Accipiter]

Why is it that women that get insulted by men become strangely close to them?

They take abuse that brings them to tears from these men, say they despise them to the core, then go ahead and invite them to parties and act like good mates with them, just because the bloke apologised.

What I feel is that the women are so insecure that when they take abuse that brings them down, it weakens them, then the male moves into apologise, saying things such as "it was a joke" "I apologise" or on extreme levels of men doing it for love, "You're beautiful really"

Why does the woman then on become close to a man who abused them to intentionally create a weakness so that the men can act upon to get close to the woman?

Do they not realise they're being played, heavily?

There's numerous occasions I've seen this occur, and the women always pick the man that would insult them over a man who is affectionate towards them.

Or it's just something north east specific because (advertised by Billy Elliot) we have father & expression problems here.

[Red]

It's probably all down to insecurity. I had a friend who who had a few bad experiences with boys treating her like crap. After that she has no self esteem and felt she couldn't do any better so settled for people like that. It's kinda a viscous circle.

[Accipiter]

I think women need to stand back and look at the big picture sometimes.

[MissAlice]

I wouldn’t tolerate or be interested in any male that failed to treat me respectfully.

I much prefer to be treated like a lady, or to put it simple, how the majority of females want to be treated. Isn’t it better to admire your partner than to live in fear of them.

Presumably it’s as it’s already been said, these females either find it acceptable or have low self esteem and are insecure, and accept too easily dominating men, which have been raised in an environment where poor role models have been evident.

Personally I have never seen my father speak or treat my mother badly in any way, and so for me I expect to find those qualities in any man that I have a relationship with. The same can be said for my brother, he behaves in many ways like my father towards his girlfriend, and he treats her with respect.

[DPS]

Tbh most the girls i treat crap, just come back for me, me and one girl have been on and off for so long now, even tho we just do stuff... winks and then i stop talking to her, she keeps coming back. i dont even have to make the first move.

[Casanova]

I think for most it's just the animal instinct, if ya get mehhh.

She feels insecure about her position, insecure about the fact he stood up to her and she feels she's been undermined. then she'll grow attached because it grows more of an attraction - she has a challenge.

It really is quite true though. I seen it with a few of the girls that I had mutual hatred for. I really ripped them to shreds and most (if we have made up) are extremely good friends.

I think by the sounds of it you need to make yourself less available. No one likes desperation, if you're less available for her to use she'll see she needs you more than someone that's playing her like a violin.

[Accipiter]

Is that for real or ********

I can never tell on this forum!

Why do you treat the girls like crap if it is real?

---------- Post added 15-09-2011 at 09:19 PM ----------

I think for most it's just the animal instinct, if ya get mehhh.

She feels insecure about her position, insecure about the fact he stood up to her and she feels she's been undermined. then she'll grow attached because it grows more of an attraction - she has a challenge.

It really is quite true though. I seen it with a few of the girls that I had mutual hatred for. I really ripped them to shreds and most (if we have made up) are extremely good friends.

I think by the sounds of it you need to make yourself less available. No one likes desperation, if you're less available for her to use she'll see she needs you more than someone that's playing her like a violin.

I agree with animal instinct, but I feel the guys that use this technique won't be able to help but hate themselves for it?

I find it quite ******ed to see a girl fall for someone this way, it's always and still is to me the oldest and most socially ******ed trick in the book (when it involves doing it for love)

I wonder how any females feel about it, I want an opinion from them to because that is just one thing I'll never understand, I can understand them like "Bad boys" but not people who are literally ***** to girls and would put them in the ground mentally just to get close to them.

This isn't a situation i'm in by the way haha, it's just something I find disrespectful to do to a girl to gain love, i'd rather call a girl beautiful and make her day than abuse her and mentally diminish her! Even if I loved her i'd rather put a smile on her face than become a **** just to get close.

[Casanova]

Is that for real or ********

I can never tell on this forum!

Why do you treat the girls like crap if it is real?

---------- Post added 15-09-2011 at 09:19 PM ----------



I agree with animal instinct, but I feel the guys that use this technique won't be able to help but hate themselves for it?

I find it quite ******ed to see a girl fall for someone this way, it's always and still is to me the oldest and most socially ******ed trick in the book (when it involves doing it for love)

I wonder how any females feel about it, I want an opinion from them to because that is just one thing I'll never understand, I can understand them like "Bad boys" but not people who are literally ***** to girls and would put them in the ground mentally just to get close to them.

This isn't a situation i'm in by the way haha, it's just something I find disrespectful to do to a girl to gain love, i'd rather call a girl beautiful and make her day than abuse her and mentally diminish her! Even if I loved her i'd rather put a smile on her face than become a **** just to get close.

I don't date girls, I don't mean I abuse them in the sense you're getting at.
I mean, if I have an issue with a girl in most cases I won't hold back, I'd argue with her just like I would a guy cos I'm all for equality - the good and the bad!
Why the heck should I hold back!?

for woman the attraction to bad boyz is the idea of change, they can take this brute and polish him into a shiny, lovely turd. It never will happen and all they get is the emotional scars of continuous 'trying'.

Once again, too needy. You shouldn't just 'offer yourself' to someone. always hold something back, no one seeks something they know - they only seek something they want to know. intrigue is important, especially in this case.

[Accipiter]

I knew the way you were speaking of, I can accept it when it happens due to natural arguments, but when a boy does it for the specific reason of love or getting close to a girl, I wouldn't exactly call it love, i'd call it fraud, like telling someone there car aint worth jack so you get it for a better deal when it's infact something of quality haha

People can be bad boys without being total *****s though? As in they can still have respect for women but still be bad boys in a sense, gamble, get drunk, fight etc.

I'd never change my ways or the way I think about love, I wouldn't want a girl who'd try and change me, as love is accepting someone who understands you from the start and doesn't need to change!

I guess you can say i'm a bit of a dreamer when it comes to love, because I believe in true romance, and believe in keeping myself pure for the right girl, so she can appreciate it all that more.

I've found someone like that, who accepts what I believe

I dislike seeing love advertised on website such as facebook to, your girl is for you, now for your ego or looks! That's something I hate as much as the official point, love your girl, don't wear her.

[Inseriousity.]

Cos while nice guys are nice, they can also be boring. Girls like the unpredictability of a bad boy and are naive in thinking that he'll change for her. This is of course all hypothetical as I'm a man and not entirely sure whether the whole 'girls like bad boys' is a myth used by good guys!! Personally I think it's not as widespread as you're making it out to be