Is Bullying a healthy and natural aspect of life?

[The Don]

Right, I've just read what I’m about to quote off another website and I’m genuinely intrigued to see what you all think. Before we start, please note, that what I am about to post is NOT my opinion.

I am debating on the healthy effects of bullying in school. Not many people that I know of share my opinion around where I live so I want to know what the Internet thinks. Well I'll start the actual debate now... I constantly find myself assaulted In the media by the image of a cruel person/group of people bullying someone who is different. this is almost always inevitably followed by the tragic story of a suicide as the media and family try to gather sympathy until a more interesting case comes up. This. Disgusts. Me. Deeply and personally see I was bullied when I was younger I know for a fact that it's very easy for seemingly "innocent" children to turn lord of the flies at a moments notice. No I don't like bullies most of them have crippling personality traits that ensure they'll sink like a stone when real life comes around. I'm short they are (mostly) bad people. However even tho I dislike them on a personal level I see the necessity of what they do. The bullies of a school prepare you for real life as much or more than a teacher or a friend. Simply because in the real world not everyone will be nice, not everyone will be or want to be your friend, and you'll always have to deal with people you don't get along with in a workplace. Bullies teach you how to deal with situations like that but some people are extremely offended by what I say for example if a teenager kills themselves because of bullying. Honestly I hold a great contempt for those people not because they didn't rebel but because they weren't even good enough to bear with it. Sickening... Truly I think that bullying related suicides are the perfect example of modern human natural selection, all those petty names bullies can call you or hurtful things bullies can say or even noses they can bloody. Those PALE in comparison to what the real world can do. School bullies can't throw you out of your house or shut off your electricity can they? In all likelihood if the young fools who ended their lives because of rude names or gestures wouldn't last a week with the stress of rent or mortgage.

What do you think? Do you agree that bullying prepares the young for the harsh reality of life, or do you disagree?

[Richie]

Yeah it's perfectly fine you fat ****

Edited by Chris (Forum Super Moderator): Please do not make unconstructive posts. See debate forum rules here http://www.habboxforum.com/showthread.php?t=615942

[Grig]

You would always think it's a negative thing. It depends the extent of being bullied really. Constant bullying causes psychological trauma. However, every now and again does send a message to show how **** life can be. There are always idiots in life and that's not going to change. It's interesting because usually those who had a tougher childhood usually end up being those who have the tougher character.

[Andii]

Yeah it's perfectly fine you fat ****

Edited by Chris (Forum Super Moderator): Please do not make unconstructive posts. See debate forum rules here http://www.habboxforum.com/showthread.php?t=615942

LMAO this made me laugh irl and well it happens everywere and like its hard to not do it yourself now that even just messing around with your friends can be named as bullying =/ or even just being honest to them


-Posts to keep xxMATTGxx happy

[Catchy]

Well, I wouldn't say physical bullying of any sort is 'healthy' or that intentional mental bullying is either what I would say though is everybody experiences some sort of taunting or being teased at one stage in their life and I believe it builds character however when it goes too far then it certainly isn't healthy.

[buttons]

i found myself agreeing with the majority of that quote until i got to "weren't even good enough to bear with it" or "young fools.... wouldn't last a week with the stress of rent or mortgage". plenty people can't do that, whether they're bullied or not. being bullied isn't going to help you cope with all of lives stresses or teach you how to deal with mortgages. those aren't about PEOPLE while bullying is. plus bullying doesn't only happen to children, it can also happen in your work place or within your family etc.

i'm not sure about it being a natural aspect of life. on one hand, you see animals bullying the weaker ones and even killing it in order to be 'leader' of their group. with bullying, you generally have a choice whether you want to live or die other than when a group of people decide that for you and kill you anyway - which isn't really what bullying is about. i think that bullying is maybe more of a learned behaviour? aggression is the natural side, bullying is what you use to express it. & also the fact we're encouraged to be competitive in schools, as well as doing so by nature, can lead to using such tactics to 'win'.

i like his quote about how bullies can have "crippling personality traits that ensure they'll sink like a stone when real life comes around". it's interesting, he tends to think that both bullies and those who are bullied are weak people. i've been on both sides, a bully and a bully victim. of course i was the classical case of victim turned bully. i think being either of those can teach you life lessons but generally i find those that are only bullies are those that turn to nothing. sometimes i see people that bullied me at school, i do get angry about it but i know that i'm a better person than them. i don't pity myself or ask "why me?" anymore but when i was bullied i couldn't really deal with it ie skiving classes, turning in to a rebel, refusing to come to school. i don't think it really taught me a lesson until i left school and realized that it means nothing to be popular, it means nothing to be outcast - not while you're at school anyway. sometimes i wanted to run away from it all and i can see why many kids do take their lives, we're not taught how to deal with things - especially not in a crappy school like mine. bullies continue being bullies despite the consequences - & they become even worse when you do try something. it doesn't make you weak, a fool or not good enough. sometimes it's easier to end a life than it is to carry on living, even if you know the future may be better.

i think in some ways being bullied can prepare you, depending on how you deal with it. for me personally when i was bullied i kept my mouth shut which didn't work and the bullying continued. i don't think it's made me a stronger person in the sense that i'll never allow myself to be bullied again but it has taught me to never be THE bully again, to never take the side of a bully and to always defend the person that's in the wrong. i think that it is more important to give support to a victim so they don't feel like they're alone and it hopefully won't lead to any suicidal intentions. it really is truly sad when they do take their lives and what makes me even more mad that in a lot of these cases when memorial pages are set up - the bullies/trolls often continue to write horrible comments. if i was a parent that would absolutely destroy me to have that happen to my child. they're not bullies, they are sick, twisted individuals with no morals and no place in society. i'm lucky in the way that my mum would get really angry about it and demand the head teacher do something. i don't think that the fact i probably won't stand up to a bully means that i'm a weak person who isn't ~good enough~ to live. i may seem weak on the outside because i don't get aggressive, because i won't fight back verbally or physically but inside i know that they're the pathetic, weak ones who rely on intimidation to gain control or power. to me, that is a very sad way of living.

bullying and suicide happens through out any age. it doesn't make you weak. it doesn't mean you aren't good enough to life. you can live a happy, decent life with no problems but still commit suicide or be subjected to bullying at a later age. i suppose in a way if i wasn't bullied i wouldn't have learned how to empathise with others (although it didn't happen straight away) or have the motivation to do something with my life. i'm actually surprised, it affected me so much at the time, i felt worthless and didn't understand why but now i realize that it was their way of dealing with their sad existence and i was an easy target. i was never the typical 'geek' or someone who was seen as a 'tink' or someone with learning or physical disabilities. i think one person chose me as a target and the rest did too and cause no-one stood up for me they could get away with it.

then again, you get bully victims that go the complete opposite way and go for revenge instead. revenge for me is happiness and being carefree while others are motivated by causing pain to those that did so to them instead. i find myself intrigued by those that turn in to mass murderers because of bullying but i think they'd have to have been extremely bullied in order to do so. i think a little bullying can be beneficial such as in my case. i had clothes in PE thrown away pretty much every week and put in the showers, i had several 'nicknames', in my classes people would choose me to do all the horrible tasks - i remember in my first year some girls asked me if i wanted to be the class rep. i said "oh god no way!!". guess who they picked? yup. in other classes i would be blamed for anything that happened.

it's actually hilarious because when i'm out in town i've had quite a few of these bullies ask me how i am like nothing happened and me being the mature adult i am, will talk to them. i'm really just laughing at them in my head. it's especially hilarious how the guys that constantly picked on me for being 'pale' and 'weird' now act as though they've always been my friend because suddenly i have a pair of boobs. shallow, lame and not worth my time. i concentrated all my energy in to studying and making a better life instead of trying to impress everyone or be a leader so i'm thankful to them for that. the only time i fit in with any of those people now is when i'm drunk which really does go to show you the type of people they are. empty headed losers going nowhere in life. some of them really haven't changed and i feel sorry for them.

whether it's natural or not doesn't make it right but at least it can have some benefits rather a victim than a bully anyway.

[Catchy]

I want to add something after reading @buttons post.

I agree with her on so many levels about bullying. She's right because bullying isn't going to help you with general aspects of life, all it will help you with is being aware of the types of people who're out there in the world. Bullies are everywhere wether it be at school or at work but the thing is with bullies, half the time they don't actually know that they're doing it or that they're offending anyone.

When I used to play Habbo back in 2009 I used to make some users 'Habbo experience' shall we say a misery and I probably made them feel ****** too, I'm not gonna lie about it because it's true but at the time I didn't see what the problem was I just thought "ah they'll get over it, they aint taking it seriously so it doesn't matter" now after all these years I've realised how wrong it was and how badly it actually affected them and I do feel terrible for it and don't think I'll ever actually forgive myself. Bullying like that is NOT okay all it will do is hinder somebodies self of steam who may not hardly have any to begin with. It was the lowest somebody can get, picking on somebody online because of whatever reason hiding behind the computer screen, it certainly isn't funny and it's pretty grim to be honest.

I'm so glad I've moved on from all that and I'm so glad that I now try and be friendly to everyone online and get along with everyone, I guess you can say I've grown up massive amounts from then. I'll never be proud of it but it's just one of those things. Makes me laugh when people say "well it's only online... you can't hurt peoples feelings" you actually can.

My point being I see what Jen is saying about there may be some positives towards bullying even for me (can't say I've ever been bullied properly) but I will never go back to picking on people online or offline.

[CrazyLemurs]

I used to be relatively okay with life until I began to be bullied, and it really hasn't helped at all.
I don't think it prepares you for life, just helps you acquire a hatred for people in general.
And I hate people saying "it's just what boys do, it's not bullying" because it makes me unhappy around them and want to just slap them all over.

[FlyingJesus]

Ok am not picking on Jen here I'm just using her post to reply to because she raises most of the points that I want to address kkk GO

i'm not sure about it being a natural aspect of life. on one hand, you see animals bullying the weaker ones and even killing it in order to be 'leader' of their group. with bullying, you generally have a choice whether you want to live or die other than when a group of people decide that for you and kill you anyway - which isn't really what bullying is about. i think that bullying is maybe more of a learned behaviour? aggression is the natural side, bullying is what you use to express it. & also the fact we're encouraged to be competitive in schools, as well as doing so by nature, can lead to using such tactics to 'win'.

It's a method of assertion. Usually in humans it doesn't lead to death and very often doesn't even extend to the physical at all, but the principle is there. I don't believe that a bully necessarily has to have past problems or personal issues (certainly no more than any human has anyway) as assertion doesn't always stem from a lack of self assurance - more often it's simply wishing for MORE, rather than attempting to make up for a void. This makes it a very natural thing, as the alternative is that people are actually teaching kids to attack and belittle their peers in order to do well socially, which I've never heard happen

i like his quote about how bullies can have "crippling personality traits that ensure they'll sink like a stone when real life comes around". it's interesting, he tends to think that both bullies and those who are bullied are weak people. i've been on both sides, a bully and a bully victim. of course i was the classical case of victim turned bully. i think being either of those can teach you life lessons but generally i find those that are only bullies are those that turn to nothing.

Somewhat agree, but would argue instead that anyone who is only one or the other - whichever that is - will be at a disadvantage later in life. Those who don't know what it's like to be on top tend to either have delusions of self-righteousness as the honest little man (which actually makes them far more aggressive and damaging if they do get in a position of power), and those who haven't ever been on the losing side will have little to no capacity for failure and will react horrendously to it. Personally I'm in the latter group: I was always top of my classes, well liked, good at sports, artistic, among the first to start getting jiggy, the whole lot, and that was without any real effort because I tend to know how to get what I want in the easiest way as well as just generally being really lucky. While that's great when things are good, I have absolutely no place in my mind for personal failures, which rather than empowering me to think I'm invincible often leaves me crippled with fear of "what if"s

bullying and suicide happens through out any age. it doesn't make you weak. it doesn't mean you aren't good enough to life.

100%

it's actually hilarious because when i'm out in town i've had quite a few of these bullies ask me how i am like nothing happened and me being the mature adult i am, will talk to them. i'm really just laughing at them in my head. it's especially hilarious how the guys that constantly picked on me for being 'pale' and 'weird' now act as though they've always been my friend because suddenly i have a pair of boobs. shallow, lame and not worth my time.

Having heard plenty of stories of the people in your area I'm sure that it probably is just your chest they want to be friends with, but it is also possible that they too have changed - bullies don't always stay bullies forever. One of my best friends is a guy I used to bully relentlessly for a couple of years, and a fair few of the old "victims" who I once felt nothing but disgust for are now people who I don't mind having the odd conversation with. To brand anyone for life because of their past, especially as a kid, does no-one any favours. Of course some people really don't change much or even get worse, but judge them on their current being rather than who they were.

[Inseriousity.]

I think healthy's the wrong word because ideally it wouldn't happen. Bullying doesn't prepare you for life cos you can't prepare for it. There'll be highs and lows in your life and being bullied is just one of the lows but it doesn't help you with the others. I would say it's natural, it's just another way of saying 'I'm better than you cos I can do x and I can do y.' Doesn't even need to be physical violence, it can still hurt, but I do think people in general (there are the odd few) genuinely grow out of it and find other ways that are more subtle to assert their superiority.

On the other hand, calling kids who commit suicide weak is disgraceful and I doubt the author of that piece would be "brave" enough to say that to the family's face and will continue to hide behind the comfort of a keyboard.