nobodys perfect.

[Stephen]

Ok I have some questions as I've never self-harmed and, although I understand why other people do it, I can't get my head around one thing: are you not afraid of the pain? I would be terrified about how much it would hurt although I'm not sure why. Sometimes I feel I'd rather walk out in front of a car (hypothetical ok!!) than cut or something because it would be easier for people to understand me.

Not sure why, but I feel like I'd want other people to understand that I'm struggling with life (therefore involving them by jumping in front of a car) rather than secretly cutting. Because then NO ONE WOULD EVER KNOW so it would never get better?? I assume me thinking like this just means I'm not depressed, meaning I can't understand how a depressed person would think.

Also, if my mum found out I was cutting she would kill me :L Is this partly why self-harmers keep it to themselves? Because they are afraid people will be angry at them?

jumping in front of a car or whatever would probs be more like a cry for help

when you overdose or end up in hospital from something self inflicted, one of the first things they do is send a crowd of psychs to your bed and ask if you did it on purpose

for me that would be alot easier than telling someone that you're severely depressed or self-harm but i guess people are different

---------- Post added 18-04-2013 at 05:19 PM ----------

lol fail

[Empired]

jumping in front of a car or whatever would probs be more like a cry for help

when you overdose or end up in hospital from something self inflicted, one of the first things they do is send a crowd of psychs to your bed and ask if you did it on purpose

for me that would be alot easier than telling someone that you're severely depressed or self-harm but i guess people are different

yeah exactly. Self-harming seems mad to me because you're keeping it to yourself so you'll never ever ever get better because no one else knows to help??

I genuinely don't think many people actually want to die, most attempted suicides are people who can't work out how else to tell people without doing something completely drastic. Just my opinion though- I could be wrong.

[buttons]

Ok I have some questions as I've never self-harmed and, although I understand why other people do it, I can't get my head around one thing: are you not afraid of the pain? I would be terrified about how much it would hurt although I'm not sure why. Sometimes I feel I'd rather walk out in front of a car (hypothetical ok!!) than cut or something because it would be easier for people to understand me.

Not sure why, but I feel like I'd want other people to understand that I'm struggling with life (therefore involving them by jumping in front of a car) rather than secretly cutting. Because then NO ONE WOULD EVER KNOW so it would never get better?? I assume me thinking like this just means I'm not depressed, meaning I can't understand how a depressed person would think.

Also, if my mum found out I was cutting she would kill me :L Is this partly why self-harmers keep it to themselves? Because they are afraid people will be angry at them?

Ok Wikipedia has actually done a fabulous job at explaining self-harm let me quote the exerts which i feel explains my own situation.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-harm

"The motivations for self-harm vary as it may be used to fulfill a number of different functions.[12] These functions include self-harm being used as a coping mechanism which provides temporary relief of intense feelings such as anxiety, depression, stress, emotional numbness and a sense of failure or self-loathing. There is also a positive statistical correlation between self-harm and emotional abuse.[14][15] Self-harm may become a means of managing and controlling pain, in contrast to the pain experienced earlier in the sufferers life of which they had no control over (e. g. through abuse).[49]"
"Many people who self-harm state that it allows them to "go away" or dissociate, separating the mind from feelings that are causing anguish. This may be achieved by tricking the mind into believing that the present suffering being felt is caused by the self-harm instead of the issues they were facing previously: the physical pain therefore acts as a distraction from the original emotional pain.[25] To complement this theory, one can consider the need to "stop" feeling emotional pain and mental agitation. "A person may be hyper-sensitive and overwhelmed; a great many thoughts may be revolving within their mind, and they may either become triggered or could make a decision to stop the overwhelming feelings. "[53]
"Those who engage in self-harm face the contradictory reality of harming themselves while at the same time obtaining relief from this act. It may even be hard for some to actually initiate cutting, but they often do because they know the relief that will follow. For some self-harmers this relief is primarily psychological while for others this feeling of relief comes from the beta endorphins released in the brain.[12] Endorphins are endogenous opioids that are released in response to physical injury, act as natural painkillers, and induce pleasant feelings and would act to reduce tension and emotional distress.[2] Many self-harmers report feeling very little to no pain while self-harming[38] and, for some, deliberate self-harm may become a means of seeking pleasure.Alternatively, self-harm may be a means of feeling something, even if the sensation is unpleasant and painful. Those who self-harm sometimes describe feelings of emptiness or numbness (anhedonia), and physical pain may be a relief from these feelings. "A person may be detached from himself or herself, detached from life, numb and unfeeling. They may then recognise the need to function more, or have a desire to feel real again, and a decision is made to create sensation and 'wake up'. "[53]
As a coping mechanism, self-harm can become psychologically addictive because, to the self-harmer, it works; it enables him or her to deal with intense stress in the current moment. The patterns sometimes created by it, such as specific time intervals between acts of self-harm, can also create a behavioural pattern that can result in a wanting or craving to fulfill thoughts of self-harm.[54]"

in simplest terms; inflicting pain you can control serves as a relief for the psychological feelings that you can't control. i don't like pain that i didnt inflict on myself ie a paper cut, it's like if you drink to get drunk u accept that because it was in your control but if you were drinking soft drinks and that got spiked, you wouldn't accept that or like it.

"may become triggered or make a decision to stop the overwhelming feelings" yes because it's a learnt behaviour, u learn the self injury will make you feel better when your feelings are boiling up so each time it happens u return to the self injury knowing its instant relief same with taking alcohol or drugs (which is also self harm if you use it to forget your feelings. you understand drug and alcohol abuse right? then self injury is the same concept, just looked down on for some reason rofl I guess because it's harder to understand)

physical pain cuts out the emotional pain which some would rather feel because "they know the relief that will follow". there's even a psychological explanation to it - your psychological pain goes away and endorphins are released in response to physical injury and we all know endorphins make u happy!!!! so it's same case as to why people take drugs, they do a harmful activity in order to feel relief or happiness. thank god psychologists understand it, if only the rest of the public would.

if you're overwhelmed by stress it may be easy for you to talk to another person about it but for others we can't (trust me, ive tried ways which should have solved my situation but it's stil there and whilst it is, I can't express anger over it in any other ways. I must keep this anger to myself hence the hiding it.) so instead they express it through self injury or self harm by means of alcohol drugs etc whilst others channel it through exercise and hobbies etc. but for some people it could be because they hate themselves so take it out on their bodies, accepting the pain because they feel they deserve it. whilst some people do it because they WANT to feel pain, to get away from the nothingness depression/sociopathology may cause.

holy **** u go wikipedia. if there are millions of people out there going through the same as me then no longer will i listen to this "it's stupid!! it makes no sense to self harm!! i wouldn't do it therefore how can anyone else!!" mentality.

also explains that self injury isn't a form of suicide... I hope it explains that but if not i won't even go there.

[bam..its..abbz]

Wish I understood more the mentality of self harmers. I'm not going to give criticism, because I genuinely don't know why people do it and where it gets them, but i'd love to know why people do it and how they think it helps them.

Pm me sometime, if your interested x

---------- Post added 18-04-2013 at 08:34 PM ----------

Ok I have some questions as I've never self-harmed and, although I understand why other people do it, I can't get my head around one thing: are you not afraid of the pain? I would be terrified about how much it would hurt although I'm not sure why. Sometimes I feel I'd rather walk out in front of a car (hypothetical ok!!) than cut or something because it would be easier for people to understand me.

Not sure why, but I feel like I'd want other people to understand that I'm struggling with life (therefore involving them by jumping in front of a car) rather than secretly cutting. Because then NO ONE WOULD EVER KNOW so it would never get better?? I assume me thinking like this just means I'm not depressed, meaning I can't understand how a depressed person would think.

Also, if my mum found out I was cutting she would kill me :L Is this partly why self-harmers keep it to themselves? Because they are afraid people will be angry at them?

Its not that scared of pain, it's more scared of life :/
didnt feel any pain didnt think about it that way.
its better not telling anyone as there's horrible people in this world. Get bullied, judged, sstereotyped.
i alway get stereo typed as a bad person because of self harm, from people who have never met me.
dont judge a book by its cover right?

---------- Post added 18-04-2013 at 08:37 PM ----------

gd for u abbie

Omg

[Empired]

Ok Wikipedia has actually done a fabulous job at explaining self-harm let me quote the exerts which i feel explains my own situation.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-harm

snip

This was really helpful, especially the bit about people wanting to control their pain as they had had no control in earlier life. When people mentioned control before, I thought they were just trying to take control of their life or something

Pm me sometime, if your interested x

---------- Post added 18-04-2013 at 08:34 PM ----------





Its not that scared of pain, it's more scared of life :/
didnt feel any pain didnt think about it that way.
its better not telling anyone as there's horrible people in this world. Get bullied, judged, sstereotyped.
i alway get stereo typed as a bad person because of self harm, from people who have never met me.
dont judge a book by its cover right?

I know that self harming people are afraid of life but, because I don't think like that, I find it very difficult to come to your way of thinking. It's like when you're not anorexic you think "how can those people think they look fat when they're 5 and a half stone???".

I KNOW why you do it, but I don't UNDERSTAND why you do it. Does that make sense?

[bam..its..abbz]

brave is standing up in front of a school and teaching people about your experience with self-harm
brave isn't going behind a computer and posting on a forum where not many people know you or can see your face as you tell them about it

not sure why I got -repped because I'm talking about the people replying saying it's brave, not hating on the op for making the thread

Although I do think that posting pictures of the aftermath of that form of self-harm isn't needed because it just adds to the stereotype that all self-harmers cut

Well no , because you have confidence put yourself in my shoes would you stand in front of 100 people in my school and ttalk to them?

im a shy person , I hav confidence issues me problems not mentioned on here.
people can see my face if they wanted to.

---------- Post added 18-04-2013 at 08:41 PM ----------

This was really helpful, especially the bit about people wanting to control their pain as they had had no control in earlier life. When people mentioned control before, I thought they were just trying to take control of their life or something


I know that self harming people are afraid of life but, because I don't think like that, I find it very difficult to come to your way of thinking. It's like when you're not anorexic you think "how can those people think they look fat when they're 5 and a half stone???".

I KNOW why you do it, but I don't UNDERSTAND why you do it. Does that make sense?

i get what you mean, it's very hard.

[Stephen]

I'm confused

I'm saying posting about it isn't brave.. you're still allowed to post a thread about it without being brave

[bam..its..abbz]

I'm confused

I'm saying posting about it isn't brave.. you're still allowed to post a thread about it without being brave

Your entitled to your own opinion

[mrwoooooooo]

oh and btw that pic isn't of you

[CaptainAce]

I'm confused

I'm saying posting about it isn't brave.. you're still allowed to post a thread about it without being brave

Posting about it IS brave actually. Although I SH, I would not post a thread about it on here.. WHY? Because I know what people can be like online. Always judging, never being there for anyone when they do express how they really feel ect.. You try posting about something that you do or have done and you've kept it to yourself for weeks, months or even years then come back here and say its not brave.