Abuse: Parents smacking children.

[Eric]

Everyone's experience is different. I was canned at home for misbehaviour and by my teachers at school for the most trivial reasons and i turned out to be fine, but really it's different for everyone else. Still, i wouldn't encourage spanking, surely there are other forms of discipline that could be used instead. Well, it could be used as a last resort but still it could trigger abuse when it is no longer a punishment and transcends into some sort of rage. Same goes to the other forms of discipline, like time-out could be used abusively as well?? Spanking doesn't always guarantee the children won't have any behaviour problems in the future. Anyway, it's still considered an abuse and shouldn't be done by an angry and unfit parent

[Zak]

I'll be smacking my kids regardless. I smack the dogs when they're naughty.. I hit the cows with a stick when they don't move.. I got smacked as a kid.. Almost everyone I know was and they all turned out fine. Even the dogs are well disciplined.. the cows probably don't even feel it.

A bit of discipline does a kid good. Again, leaving a mark (bruise) is too far but everyone has their own opinion on it. We are far too lenient as a country..

[Wengles]

I was pretty cut and dry on this until I heard the argument 'well you wouldn't be allowed to physically assault an adult so why should you be able to do it to a child?' fair. I don't have an answer to that or at least the only logical standpoint I can take is 'well you shouldn't.'

[Phil]

How else will you get their attention? Shouting at them seems scarier and surely scaring a child is generally considered a bad thing, because they will fear people? The alternatives to smacking seem to not be wanted either, from my understanding.

Saying their name?

For instance, if a fight occurs - how do you remove the child? Man handling them is obviously a no-no, as you may injure the child in the process.

A child would normally stop fighting when they realise they have been caught by an adult and they know they have done wrong and then you just remove them from the situation, ask both kids what's going on and deal with it appropriately. Maybe in a rare case you may have to physically remove a child from a situation but most Childcare Practitioners would also be qualified in Manual Handling so they know how to do this in a safe manner.

In the past three years working in childcare, I've never had to physically remove a child from a situation

That doesn't mean they're not bubble wrapped - that just means they're free to do what they want while wearing bubble wrap, if that makes sense? Like wrapping up a bird in bubble wrap and letting it fly free - it won't feel bumps and it is made to not feel the toils of every day life as an adult. Disappointment and even fear is a part of growing up, after all.

Okay yeah fair point and now that I've read what you've said I agree with you that children are bubble wrapped and this actually really annoys me

Isn't this just bad upbringing? If a child hits another child it isn't the only reason that they were smacked - they could just be brats like I said I'd say a tap of acknowledgement (not a smack) like you would an adult should go hand in hand with being sat down and taught right from wrong, by going down to their level and explaining why they're being an arse. A naughty chair is a silly idea as children do not reflect on what they do, they just get bored (from my experience at least). They need to be explained thing, which is probably where certain expressions such as "what, do you need to be explained everything like a child" come from

Oh yeah exactly, I'm not saying that if a child hits another child it means they are being hit at home. Sure if that were the case every single child would be in care Some are just brats, I've come across enough of them to know that lol. The naughty chair isn't a silly idea and they are reflecting on what they have done because when you put them on and take them off you should be explaining why they are there and how what they have done is wrong, you really have to outline why they're being punished.

Sorry for the slow reply, I've been away

[Charz777]

I think there is a clear difference between kids today and kids of my generation; (say 20-25 year olds).

Parents these days are afraid to punish their kids and look at the results. Sorry to generalise here, but I see way more bratty kids these days than I did 5, 10 years ago. People will disagree I'm sure when I say that discipline is about showing respect to your parents and elders. But I was smacked if I ever stepped out of line and I respect my parents and I respected teachers at school, I respect my fellows at university and people I was at work with. I've never committed a crime, I've never smoked or taken drugs. I've never even had enough alcohol in my system to be considered tipsy. I'd like to think that this is because I was brought up properly.

Don't get me wrong, I don't condone violence in any way. Another thing I've never done is been in a physical fight. But there is a big difference between tapping a child and full on abuse. I don't think I'd be able to smack my own children, I just don't have it in me, but I don't think there is anything wrong with parents using a gentle tap.

Oh, and I saw some woman talking complete rubbish on This Morning the other day about how tests show that children who were smacked have a lower IQ. I was smacked and I'm doing a Maths degree, so I wouldn't exactly call myself stupid, alright I know many people more intelligent than me, but I wouldn't say I have a low IQ.

[Cassiieee]

I would never smack my child if I had one. I would find some other way to descipline them. Like take their favourite toy away, or no sweets, ect. Never find smacking your child is the only option.

[Liva]

Some kids need to understand consequence. Yelling or talking to them isn't a big enough statement, and I guess pain is enforced to stop them from doing it again? It shouldn't be dealt to older kids though, that's when I think it becomes abuse because they should know better by that point.

[Phil]

Some kids need to understand consequence. Yelling or talking to them isn't a big enough statement, and I guess pain is enforced to stop them from doing it again? It shouldn't be dealt to older kids though, that's when I think it becomes abuse because they should know better by that point.

Hold on what?! Pain?! Why would you want to hurt the child?!

[!x!dude!x!2]

Some kids need to understand consequence. Yelling or talking to them isn't a big enough statement, and I guess pain is enforced to stop them from doing it again? It shouldn't be dealt to older kids though, that's when I think it becomes abuse because they should know better by that point.

so you would abuse your child ???

[Liva]

so you would abuse your child ???

No idea where this came from, and I don't think I would actually do the whole smacking thing when I do have children. I said I only think it would really count as abuse when the child is older, and it should stop before then.

Hold on what?! Pain?! Why would you want to hurt the child?!

That's essentially what smacking is, no? [strike (someone or something), typically with the palm of the hand and as a punishment.]
It leaves a (slightly painful) tingle on the skin which, I guess, makes them think twice before doing it again. My parents did it with me and I don't resent them or blame the way I am personally on it, if anything it made me definitely learn not to do it again!
(Just as long as it doesn't last longer than a minute or two, pain wise, or any bruises/long-term effect.)