News - 2014 to the future FEEDBACK

[Inseriousity.]

gosh I can tell you aren't going to be a news reporter, well unless it's for The Sun when you can make stuff up.

[FlyingJesus]

I'm pretty sure he admitted to it

[Samantha]

Does seem that stubbornness over a bizarre DNHL decision means they've overlooked the best person for the job!

No one can ever be sure on who the best person for the job is, their application may be outstanding amongst the others, but they're just words - if then they can't deliver then are they really the best for the job? I'm not denying Martin would probably be great, I loved him as my manager, but perhaps a fresh face with the fresher department is what Habbox needs. That outside person to come in and make the department better, or bring it back up to where it once was - it worked with Lewis when he managed the events department. For this decision, I think the General Management team (or those who have a decision in it) will choose wisely, and I'm sure if it doesn't pay off at least they tried!

Was it you Mike who said it feels like you need to build a staff team and everything before actually running the department? I agree with you there - the second time around where I was manager it just didn't feel right, it's really disheartening knowing that a department you ran in part of its prime has vanished and you can't be too sure how you can revive it. It did feel that before I could enjoy it I had the task of actually getting staff, even chipping in myself wasn't enough and I love writing news!

[Martin]

It's not that bizarre he was embezzling for his underage bf but yeah overlooking people is a Habbox institution

I'm pretty sure he admitted to it

I don't know what you mean by embezzling? I never had any events funds, so if you mean that then no. Also I was fired and put on the do not hire list for leaking information.




Anyway, I think we need to give Rhyss a chance to show us what he can do with the department guys! He seems really nice and his badge guide articles on the site have been really good to read. I wish him the best of luck and im sure he will do fab!

[Chippiewill]

This is really nit picky, but you need to cut down on the conversational language. It doesn't need to be wiki levels of neutral - but you're doing your content a disservice by writing it as if you're talking to the reader.

The style of writing really needs to be closer to that of blogs, for instance you may want to take a look at Ars Technica, it gets away with a lot of colloquialisms but breaks them up with facts.

Also I know you have a proof reader, but that does not excuse not reading through an article before publishing it. @bikini;'s latest article seems to have commas thrown in all over the place.

[Brad]

This is really nit picky, but you need to cut down on the conversational language. It doesn't need to be wiki levels of neutral - but you're doing your content a disservice by writing it as if you're talking to the reader.

The style of writing really needs to be closer to that of blogs, for instance you may want to take a look at Ars Technica, it gets away with a lot of colloquialisms but breaks them up with facts.

Also I know you have a proof reader, but that does not excuse not reading through an article before publishing it. @bikini;'s latest article seems to have commas thrown in all over the place.

I only saw one spot where I did use an excessive amount of commas, which I just updated it. I really don't see where I "threw" commas in.

And cut down on the conversational language? Isn't that what we are trying to accomplish? If there is an article that it feels like it is directed to me, there's a higher chance of me reading it.

[Samantha]

I only saw one spot where I did use an excessive amount of commas, which I just updated it. I really don't see where I "threw" commas in.

And cut down on the conversational language? Isn't that what we are trying to accomplish? If there is an article that it feels like it is directed to me, there's a higher chance of me reading it.

Things like this is probably why we'd need a sub forum for these if we're posting them on the forum. Your report needs editing, but if Rhyss edits the one on Habbox.com then it'll require a member of GM or forum to edit the other. It's not a case of just copying and pasting as moderators don't have access to the editor to get the codes used (bolding etc.)

It's great you're putting it on the forum, but I'd make sure it's been edited to perfection first. To get this you might need Rhyss going through it then a higher member (someone with access) too.

[Chippiewill]

And cut down on the conversational language? Isn't that what we are trying to accomplish? If there is an article that it feels like it is directed to me, there's a higher chance of me reading it.

To a degree yes, but if your article is nothing but conversational then you reduce the content to mere opinion. Most articles are a little conversational, but they don't go full out as it's inefficient to convey information and tedious to read.

Honestly, so far the veil of Articles has been used to get away with really sloppy writing.

[Brad]

To a degree yes, but if your article is nothing but conversational then you reduce the content to mere opinion. Most articles are a little conversational, but they don't go full out as it's inefficient to convey information and tedious to read.

Honestly, so far the veil of Articles has been used to get away with really sloppy writing.

I agree with you on this one, but are you referring to all types of articles? The way I see it is that most article entries, like room reviews, are meant to be opinion based.
If your articles are meant to have facts, and information from research (articles like current affairs in the real world, or an informative article on a recent study) then I understand that, yes- it should be there to convey the information given, and then supplying only about 5-10% of the article with your opinion.

[Chippiewill]

Ultimately yes, room reviews do have a lot of opinion, but there are a lot of objective comments you can about the room. You may want to read things like Music or Art reviews to get a better idea of the style that would be more appropriate.