do messages count as cheating???

[Kardan]

So you would feel absolutely no jealousy whatsoever?

On your romantic honeymoon, just got married, and you see your new husband chatting up the hotel receptionist and it's perfectly okay?

Each to their own I suppose

[lawrawrrr]

So you would feel absolutely no jealousy whatsoever?

On your romantic honeymoon, just got married, and you see your new husband chatting up the hotel receptionist and it's perfectly okay?

Each to their own I suppose

I don't really get jealous, but then I'm much more laid back than your average person about cheating full stop (basically, I don't really care that much if they did). I mean, maybe that will change when I'm in a serious, long-term relationship.

To clarify the jealousy thing actually, if in that scenario my new husband was leaving our room and activities (get your minds out of the gutter) to go chat up the receptionist or ignoring me to do so, I wouldn't think that was *on*, but if it was just some light flirting as we were getting keys or something, no I honestly would not care at all!

[Empired]

I totally agree with this. Relationships are meant to be a one on one basis.
To the extent of the text messages, etc. are that's where the line is drawn for me. I wouldn't want my girlfriend to be planning a hangout with a guy, or something. Unless either;
A) that guy was someone I knew and trusted
B) that guy was her brother/friend prior to us dating

As I see it, if my girlfriend is going to stay true to me, she'll set boundaries herself. Which includes who she texts and what she texts.

That's so weird. I would not want to continue dating someone if they wouldn't let me see a male friend. Trust is an important part of a relationship and if my boyfriend flat out won't let me have a proper social life then I will end the relationship. Some jealousy is going to be natural but downright not allowing me to see someone is ridiculous IMO.

Basically I'd see flirting as harmless if you do it with your friends or whatever. Like me and my friends will flirt with each other even though none of us are romantically interested in each other just because that's the kind of friendship we have. But if I suspect either my partner OR the person they're flirting with is interested then I'd say something.

[Samantha]

I think it depends how far it goes, and what the contents of the messages are. I know it's not really texting, but my ex asked many girls on Ask.fm rude questions and suggested they sent pictures whereby I confronted him about it, he tried denying it until I stopped him in his tracks, I told him he shouldn't have done it especially since he has a girlfriend who if he really had that desire could have said stuff like that to surely? I don't believe he saw it was wrong at all, but it's where we differed, I messed up and I told him, we were fine, yet he couldn't admit something to me. If he has asked about there being a free house, it doesn't scream the most positive of things to me and alarm bells would probably ring there as I'm rather paranoid (not in this relationship currently though).

I agree with you @Empired; as well. Something kicked off between me, Max and this other person from work. For various reasons me and Max broke up for a while and this guy tried it on numerous times, and Max said he would never ask me to stop texting him, but I did do - I only spoke to ask him for a picture of the rota or to swap a shift and even that's stopped now due to circumstances he's caused as usual. Fortunately, I know who Max texts and vice versa pretty much, I don't need to know, he just tells me as generally they're people from work, Max jokingly flirts with people (he especially likes red heads lol), but I know he means no harm by it and I'm ok with it.

There's always a line you shouldn't cross though and that line is different to everyone which you should set yourself. You and your partner should know what's too far and try to be on the same page. Also, think about it, if the boot was on the other foot and it was you arranging a free house and getting sent pictures, would he be ok with that?

[dbgtz]

Not necessarily, but kissing a random guy is. Depends on context, the people involved, the maturity of the relationship etc. There's no set rules that are applicable to every situation and I would keep that in mind.

[e5]

I wouldn't say it's cheating but it's defintely unfaithful and makes them untrustworthy and definitely re-titling them to ex is appropriate!

[scottish]

I wouldn't say it's cheating but it's defintely unfaithful and makes them untrustworthy and definitely re-titling them to ex is appropriate!

unfaithful = cheating

?? what

[Kimmy]

I most definitely think it's cheating. The definition of cheating is to act dishonestly or unfairly; and any form of unfaithfulness falls under that category. Just after I moved in with my ex I discovered messages on his social media sites telling countless girls that he wanted to meet up with them and do certain things. He even mentioned to one of them that I meant nothing, and that he'd end with me soon. This was all in text and nothing was done in order person although I surely did feel betrayed and all of that usual stuff.

In terms of the flirting, I'm unsure. I suppose there's different levels of it; but being the naturally jealous type I would not tolerate it whatsoever. Ex used to call this one girl love and babe and pretty all of the time just to get up her arse and it drove me mad. I don't think it's on the same par with actual cheating, however, but it is definitely a way to weaken trust.

[e5]

unfaithful = cheating

?? what

Ha, maybe so yeah I guess. In a way I think it's cheating then. I usually see cheating at like sex/kissing etc but I guess texting and being unfaithful in that way is cheating :/ lmao idk

[scottish]

Ha, maybe so yeah I guess. In a way I think it's cheating then. I usually see cheating at like sex/kissing etc but I guess texting and being unfaithful in that way is cheating :/ lmao idk

well unfaithful is basically the definition of cheating, so if you think it's unfaithful then you must think it's cheating.

unless you think there's a difference between unfaithful and cheating?