How do I?

[luce]

erm i don't know? Can you learn that you have to be like sure of yourself and confident it your ability

[danzooo]

So if someone walks into the doctors and says "I'm paranoid about everything by default, I can't even leave the house" then the doctor will just say "what you're asking is like askng to have natually blonde hair when your hair is natually brown. Please go home and live a loner for the rest of your life"

No what you've basically done here is quote something I've said and totally twisted it into something utterly ridiculous...

[Stephen]

No what you've basically done here is quote something I've said and totally twisted it into something utterly ridiculous...

To be honest I think what you're after here is easier said than done. Saying your paranoid by default is just the way you are, I reckon what your asking is kinda like asking to have naturally blonde hair, when your hair is naturally brown...

1
Asking to have naturally blonde hair when your hair is naturally brown is impossible!

2
You said that paul asking how to not care about people's opinions is like 1

So I haven't twisted anything. If changing how you think is impossible then obviously a doctor wouldn't be able to do anything..

[FlyingJesus]

What other people think is important, don't buy into that originality crap people seem to think is a good idea for the pure sake of it these days.

[luce]

What other people think is important, don't buy into that originality crap people seem to think is a good idea for the pure sake of it these days.

yeah but only to a certain extent - if we were all as perfect as you we wouldn't be having this conversation Some people have to live in your shadow and can't deal with it

[kuzkasate]

tbh, i found this kinda natural. idc what other people think of me, im me, thats who i am and if you dont like me, you can **** off cos i dont have time for you.
think like that tbh, helped me a lot.

[Florx]

yeah but only to a certain extent - if we were all as perfect as you we wouldn't be having this conversation Some people have to live in your shadow and can't deal with it

I think he was being sarcastic?

[Wig44.]

The first thing you have to do:
Stop caring what other people think. As you think you shall become. Think: You ARE confident. You have what other people don't; confidence and the ability to NOT CARE what other people are thinking. Example: Hot girl on the bus/what ever, you want to approach but you are scared because of what she'll think. Don't care what she's thinking. The world does not revolve around you - how much do you remember of random people you see around you in every day life? Probably little to nothing. Everyone is the same in that regard. If you don't know them and they don't know you - why care what they are thinking? If someone is negative about you - chances are they are spouting crap, ignore it, move on. This is because you don't care what they think.

You probably have two other major problems:
You seek other peoples approval
You fear rejection.

Don't seek other peoples approval, e.g don't ask or beg someone to do something, make a statement and see if they follow. Don't dress to please someones, dress to please yourself. For people who are negative about you, don't change the things they are negative about to seek their approval, if you need to change, it is for yourself. They must seek your approval. No one likes the perfect person because perfect is boring. Remember this: You are the great catch because unlike other people you don't give a **** what people think, therefore you are resistant to social pressure and are not bound by seeking the approval of others. Act and feel confident, people will respond differently to you and this will make you confident in reality. This is a self-fulfilling prophecy. And make the change today, not tomorrow - because tomorrow never comes.

[Stephen]

imo if caring about other people's opinions gets to you really badly and so does all this paranoia etc then you should ask a doctor about CBT. Weekly 1 hour sessions where a psychiatrist helps you learn to change the way you think about certain things. Probably the best thing you can do, you can't read people's posts on here and think oh I feel so much better I no longer care about people's opinions of me.

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Cogniti...roduction.aspx

[Wig44.]

imo if caring about other people's opinions gets to you really badly and so does all this paranoia etc then you should ask a doctor about CBT. Weekly 1 hour sessions where a psychiatrist helps you learn to change the way you think about certain things. Probably the best thing you can do, you can't read people's posts on here and think oh I feel so much better I no longer care about people's opinions of me.

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Cogniti...roduction.aspx

My dad is a CBT and if what I posted doesn't help you I can recommend CBT. For instance, write down a list of good things about you. Keep it with you and add things whenever possible. Focus on these things. Write down your life goals, and short term goals, even tiny ones. Tick them off as you go. These types of thing can work wonders on the mind. Evaluate your sitaution. How do you feel? Answer. Why? Answer? Has it occured to you that X was never happening, but caused you to Y, leading to X happening in reality? Etc. I'd need your answers to make sense ofc.