Chapter 1- Beggining.
''TODAYS THE DAY!'' My twin sisters Emily and Lily shouted jumping on me. ''I KNOW! GO AWAY!'' I said. Today me, Emily, Lily, Mum, Dad and my best friend Amber were going to Doom Mountian Theme Park. Pretty cool name. Its not really scary though. Lily and Emily ran out and I got up. I looked at the clock. Ten am! Early. Still I got changed and went downstairs. Mum and Dad had layed out breakfast. Sausages, Bacon and Eggs. Mmmm! As I sat down mum handed me a plate of sausage, bacon and eggs. I ate it then there was a knock on the door. I went to get it. When I opened it, it was Amber. ''Hi Amb.'' I said. ''Hi Holly.'' she said. When she came in my mum gave her a plate. ''Thanks.'' Amber said. ''Its fine.'' Mum said. ''So, Amber. You looking forward to Doom Mountain?'' I asked her. ''Yepp!'' She smiled. ''SO ARE WE!'' Lily and Emily said. ''I'll take Emily and Lily and get them dressed.'' Mum said. ''Ok. I'll go and set the food up.'' Dad said. ''I'm going on the new ride, Doom Slide.'' I said. ''Yea. Me too.'' Amber said. Then Lily came running down the stairs. ''LILY!'' My mum shouted. I got up and picked Lily up and took her upstairs. I'm glad I'm twelve and the twins are five. When I took Lily up Emily was already dressed. My mum dressed Lily and did their hair. ''OK LETS GET INTO THE CAR!'' Dad shouted. I got on my trainers and we all went in the car.
Chapter 2- Doom Mountain.
Pls Comment.
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Once You Go Up, You don't come down...
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Nice story.
A 9.5/10 Haha, you could use some interesting phrases.
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Chapter 2- Doom Mountain
It seemed like forever. Me, Amber, Lily and Emily were in the back, and already Emily and Lily were being annoying. ''ARE WE THERE YET?'' Lily asked. ''No.'' Dad said. I started talking to Amber when BUMP. ''Oh no. Looks like a needle in the tyre.'' Dad said taking his seatbelt off. Dad got out and got a tyre from the boot. He fixed it on then got some crisps. He opened the car door and gave us a packet of crisps. When he climbed back in he drove off. About ten minutes later we arrived. ''DOOM MOUNTAIN THEME PARK FOR KIDS.'' Read the sign. Lily and Emily had fell asleep on each other. ''Lily, Emily. We're here.'' Mum said. When they woke up they looked outside. ''YEY!'' Emily said. ''I WANT TO GO ON THE SAME RIDES AS HOLLY!'' Lily burst out. ''No way!'' I said. I mean. I loved my sisters but no no no way! ''No hunny.'' Mum said. We got out the car and Mum got Emily and Lily out. Me and Amber ran up to the big rusty iron gates. Mum and dad came running up to us with Lily and Emily. I tried to push the gates open. Nothing. Then a funny person came over with a key. It looked like Yoda from the starwars advert. ''Nice suit.'' My dad said to him. ''Its not a suit.'' The funny looking man said. ''Oh.'' My dad said. ''Welcome to Doom Mountain Theme Park for kids. I'm Joe and I hope you have fun.'' He said. He opened the gate and let us in. It slammed behind us. ''I want on Doom Slide!'' I said. ''Me too.'' Amber replied.
Chapter 3- Doom Slide
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Originally Posted by -Sunny.
Nice story.
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Chapter 3- Doom Slide
''Well wait on us kids!'' Mum shouted. Me and Amber waited and mum and dad came up to us with Lily and Emily. We walked to Doom Slide. There were ten. And very very long. Me and Amber climbed up the stairs and went to the slide. There was another man like Yoda. ''Be careful which one you choose. One is the never ending slide.'' He said. Me and Amber chose one. We went down and it was fun. ''When does this end?'' She asked. ''Probarly now.'' I said. ''I'm pretty scared. We've been on for at least five minutes now.'' Amber replied. ''Me too.'' I said. Then we stopped. ''What is this?'' I asked. It was a dark tunnel. ''I don't know. Just stick together.'' Amber said. We clung on to each other and walked through. We found an exit. We saw mum and dad with my sisters. Me and Amber ran to them. ''Hello girls.'' Dad said. ''Hi'' Amber said. ''Lets go on the boat ride.'' Mum said. We went over to the lake and there were coffin boats. ''I want in with mummy!'' Lily said. ''I want in with daddy!'' Emily said. So we all climbed in a diffrent one. The Yoda man pushed them down the lake. Then BANG. The coffin door slammed shut. ''AGH!'' I screamed. I kept banging the lid to open. But nothing. Then there was spiders in it. I hate spiders! I tried my hardest to open it. Then WOOOOOSH! I went down a waterfall. Then the coffin door opened. I stood up. There was a wood thing across the lake and I stood on it. Mum, Dad and Ambers coffin opened too. ''I WANT TO GO HOME!'' Emily and Lily cried. ''Was there spiders in your coffin?'' Amber asked. ''Yea!'' I said. Lily said ''I want Holly to carry me.'' So I picked her up. ''I want daddy.'' Emily said. So my dad picked her up. We all walked to the exit. Mum pushed it but nothing. So we were stuck here! AGAIN! ''No!!!!'' I said. Then Joe came over. ''Follow me.'' He said. So we followed him.
Chapter 4- The DM Gameshow
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Chapter 4- DM Gameshow.
We followed him to a big room. We were told to go on the stage. ''Now. If you get this right, We'll let you go.'' Joe said. ''What if we don't?'' Dad asked. ''You'll be here forever'' Joe said. I gulped. ''The question is....... What came first? The chicken or the egg?'' Joe asked. ''We were learning about this in school.'' Amber whispered. ''I'm sure its the egg.'' I said. ''THE EGG!'' My dad shouted. ''Sorry. The answer is No one knows.'' Joe said. ''GET THEM!'' ''KIDS RUN!'' Mum shouted. We ran to the iron gate. ''Its locked!'' Joe yelled. ''CLIMB IT!'' I SHOUTED. I climbed it and got over. Emily was on dads back and Lily was on mums. Amber climbed followed by mum and dad. They all got over when the gates opened. ''AFTER THEM!'' Joe yelled. They all came after us. Then BANG! Our car blew up. ''QUICK! GET THE BUS!'' Amber yelled pointing to it. We all ran to it. Dad opened the door and sat down. Of course Emily was of his back first. Dad closed the door. I sat down with Lily on my knee and Amber sat next to me with Emily on her knee. Dad drove off. Emily and Lily fell asleep and so did Amber. ''Thank god we're out of there!'' I said. ''I know.'' Mum said. Then about ten minutes later I fell asleep. ''Wake up.'' I heard mum say. I woke up and we were home. I got of the bus carrying Lily. ''AGH!'' I screamed. Mum ran out. ''What?'' She asked. ''L..Loo..k'' I stuttered. ''You forgot free tickets for next summer.'' Joe said.
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This was really short because I was bored.
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