Nightmare on Sesame Street.

[uh huh her]

I wrote this story for English and got a level 7, so what do ye think?


Several pigeons were on the window ledge of a small apartment in a big brick building on a very familiar street. Bert was leaning out of the window, feeding the pigeons. He loved his pigeons. In fact he loved them more than anything in the world.
"Hey Bert, would you mind leaving your pigeons alone for a few minutes and help with the dishes? Huh, Bert?"
"Can't you see I'm busy, Ernie?" he shouts back in reply.
"But Bert, we have to do the dishes. It is good to keep your home neat and tidy. You know that Bert. Now leave those dirty pigeons alone and help me clean up."
"Dirty?" he thought to himself "Dirty? I'll show him whose dirty. I'm so tired of him always bossing me around telling me to clean this and clean that. How dare he take me away from my pigeons." Bert then said, "Ok, Ernie, you are right. I'll help you with the dishes. You wash, I'll dry."
Bert then joined his roommate and best friend by the sink to help with the dishes. After they were through, Ernie spoke:
"Ok Bert. Thank you for your help. Now, you clean up the rest of the apartment, while I take a bath."
"Ok Ernie, but let me run the bath water for you, ok? I feel bad about not helping out earlier" Bert replied.
"Thank you, Bert, but you don’t have to."
"No, no Ernie. I insist. You just gather your things from your room and when you come out, the bath will be ready for you."
Ernie replied, "Oh thank you, Bert. You are such a good friend."
Ernie then headed off to the room to prepare for his bath. Bert then entered the bathroom. A few minutes later, Ernie appeared from his room and headed toward the bathroom.
"Bert? Bert? Have you seen my rubber ducky? You know I can't take a shower without my... Aaaahhhhhh!!!!"
Ernie's piercing shriek could be heard throughout the neighbourhood. As he entered the bathroom, he found Bert with a butcher knife in his hand, stabbing Ernie's rubber ducky.
"Hey, pal. I found your rubber ducky." Bert said in an evil tone between stabbings.
"Bert! What are you doing!?" Ernie said horrified.
Bert did not answer and continued stabbing rubber ducky. Ernie ran over to reclaim his ducky. He reached out his hand to grab his rubber ducky from Bert. Bert then raised the knife to strike Ernie.
"You want this, pal?" Bert's tone was more menacing than before.
"Oh Bert, please don't hurt me or Rubber Ducky anymore. Please Bert. I'll do anything. I'll be good Bert."
"Shaddup, Ernie. That won't save you.”
Ernie tried to escape, but Bert was too fast for him. Bert leapt over the tub and slammed Ernie to the ground.
"Hi, pal!" Bert glared as he stabbed his friend.
Ernie lay bleeding in the bathroom floor, crying out for help and his Rubber Ducky.
"No one can hear you, Ernie." Bert stabbed him again, this time in the throat. "Try screaming now, pal..."
Ernie rolled over, coughing and choking on his own blood. Bert watched on, curiously. He smirked as Ernie trashed around violently. After Ernie stopped kicking so much, Bert scooped him up and tossed him into the tub.
"Time for your bath, Ernie. You are very dirty. You must stay clean, Ernie. Don't you know that? Oh, and don't forget your rubber ducky."
Bert tossed the rubber ducky into the tub, now filled with reddening waters, to spite the dying Ernie. He then grabbed the hair dryer off the nearby sink and turned it on.
"Hey, pal, you look like you could use a little grooming. You look like you need it.”
He laughed maniacally and threw the hair dryer into the tub. Ernie's body tossed and thrashed as the sparks flew. After the hair dryer shorted out, the smouldering corpse of Ernie lay still in the tub. But Bert wasn't through with his evil deeds. He had another idea. Ernie had to pay for constant pestering. Bert unlaced one of Ernie's shoes and strung Ernie's disfigured carcass up from the shower curtain rod. The soft, eerie sound of tearing flesh could be heard as Bert sliced Ernie open from chest to his legs, disembowelling him. The bathroom tiles were now covered with Ernie's insides. Bert did a little dance and slipped on the floor. When he got up off the floor he was even more violent and more angry.
"You idiot! You made me fall! I told you to clean up this messy bathroom, didn't I?"
Bert bit into Ernie's leg, taking a large chunk of flesh out with his teeth. He swallowed it and laughed. He grabbed his trusty knife, and stormed out of the bathroom, leaving the remains of Ernie dangling from the shower curtain rod and Rubber Ducky as the only living witness.
Sesame Street had a killer on the loose.
His shirt was covered in the spilt blood of his roommate and long time friend, yet Bert did not seem to care. He licked the drying blood from the edges of his mouth and continued down the street. Killing Ernie had only created a bloodthirsty madman, driven by the love for his pigeons. He rounded the corner and entered the local shop. Bert went straight for the cleaning products aisle. He had to clean up the mess in his apartment before it started to reek. He grabbed a sponge and a bottle of Mr Muscle, stuffed them under his blood stained shirt and made a run for the door. He quickened his pace as to go unnoticed, but just as he made it to the door; a wall of yellow feathers came from nowhere and blocked his escape.
"Shop lifting is a crime, Bert. Don't you know that? I am going to have to take you down to the station if you don't put those cleaning products back on the shelf or pay for them, immediately."
Bert looked up and saw the familiar face of Big Bird.
"Out of my way, Bird. I'm in a hurry!"
He tried to get around Sesame Street's undercover police officer, but he could not. Big Bird was just too big!
"That's it Bert, you are going...What the? Bert what is that red stuff you are covered in? Have you and Ernie been painting the apartment again?"
Now enraged, Bert replied, "No, it's blood! Ernie's blood!"
"What? Blood? Bert!!"
But before Big Bird could utter another word, Bert leapt into the air and pounced upon Big Bird. He grabbed a pair of scissors from a nearby shelf and stabbed Big Bird in the eye.
"Aaaaaaaaggggggghhhhh!!!!!" Big Bird cried.
"Shut up Bird, die! Die! Die!
Bert stabbed Big Bird a few more times in the head before Big Bird lay dead in a pool of blood. Bert was now drenched in both the blood of Ernie and Big Bird. He had to clean himself up and change clothes. He stood up and brushed himself off. Bert looked around the store to make sure no one had seen the murder. He noticed a note on the cash register that read: Be back in 10 minutes. He laughed and proceeded to empty the contents of the drawer into his pockets. Then, he picked up the cleaning products from off of the floor (he had dropped them when he leapt at Big Bird), kicked the corpse of Big Bird for good measure and walked out of the store back toward his apartment building. As he was exiting, he did not notice the blue Cadillac parked across the street, nor did he notice the shadowy figure behind the wheel.
Two hours later.
"These goddamn blood stains just won't come out!"
Bert was scrubbing the bathroom floor. He had put on a clean shirt, but was still somewhat bloody. Suddenly there was a loud noise. SMASH!Bert's front door had been kicked down,and standing in the doorway there was a furry, blue monster holding a gun in one hand and a bag of cookies in the other.
"Bert! Me have come for you..." the monster paused as he stuffed the bag of cookies into his mouth. "Bert! Me know you are in here. Cookie followed Bert. Where are you?"
Cookie Monster walked into the bathroom and open fired.BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!. But Bert was not in there. He walked over and looked into the tub, thinking Bert was hiding in there. He didn’t find Bert, but he found Ernie's body slowly dissolving in a tub of acid. The stench was impossible. Cookie covered his mouth. He was about to be sick. He ran into the bedroom and vomited. He had to find Bert. But where did he go?
Bert emerged from a nearby alley. He had taken the fire escape and fled when he heard his front door cave in. He was enraged and wanted vengeance. He ran down the alleyway to the nearby house where his buddy Elmo lived. Elmo and Bert had secretly been best friends behind Ernie’s back. He ran in and told Elmo everything which had happened, Elmo said he would help Bert find and kill Cookie Monster. They armed themselves with guns and knifes, then walked out into the street. They saw Cookie walking out of Bert’s house, they then saw him shooting at Bert’s beloved pigeons.
“What the hell are you doing!!” Screamed Bert.
Cookie turned to face them.
“Cookie doesn’t like pigeons, pigeons poop on cookie.” Replied Cookie.
Bert’s yellow face turned red. Elmo to was mad, but he’s already red so you wouldn’t know. Elmo raised his gone and shot at Cookies head, Cookie dodged the bullet and ran into the post office. Bert and Elmo followed. Cookie had hidden in a toilet cubicle, he sat as still as he could, all that could be heard was him panting. Meanwhile Elmo had wandered of and had found an axe, he walked into the toilets. He listened and could hear Cookie’s feet shuffling. Elmo lifted his axe and swung at the cubicle door. The door split.
“Here’s Elmo!” Elmo screamed.
Cookie threw his pack of chocolate chip cookies in Elmo’s face then kicked him. Elmo fell, Cookie grabbed the axe and lifted it above his head, he swung at Elmo… But then he stopped. In the corner of his eye he saw Bert holding a gun at in the direction of Cookie.
“Don’t shoot Cookie, Cookie be good!” the monster said.
“Shut up and back away from Elmo.” Bert shouted.
“Don’t shout Cookie if I do what Bert wants Cookie to do.” Replied Cookie.
“I won’t.” Bert laughed.
Cookie backed away, suddenly Elmo leaped up and took out a knife that he had hidden in his red fur and stabbed the Cookie Monster in the throat. Cookie shrieked as he fell to the floor. Elmo licked the blade of the knife he used for the murder. Then stabbed him repeatedly, blood splattered everywhere.
The two killers made a quick exit; they went back to Elmo’s place to change their clothes. They planned to take over the world, Bert had already written what they would do. But the papers were at his house. When they arrived at Bert’s Elmo vomited because of the smell. Bert ran up into his bedroom and found that it had been trashed. He thought it must have been Cookie, but then he saw grey feathers lying on the bed. Could it be? No, surely not. How could they? He ran over to the window, suddenly he was attacked by his beloved pigeons! They pecked his eyes out, and ripped the yellow flesh of his body. Bert lay alone, bleeding to death. He had been given a taste of his own medicine, the taste was horrid. As Bert was dying, Elmo was seeing what had caused the smell. He walked into the bathroom, only to slip on the Rubber Ducky that sat on the floor. Elmo smashed his head on the side of the sink, then fell unconscious into the bath where Bert had killed Ernie. Elmo’s body slowly decayed.

Sesame Street was never the same again.



The moral to this story?

Don’t kill people, and pigeons are evil.

[Php]

Lol Pidgeons Sure Are Evil

[lukeisok]

Omg, That was an AMAZING piece of literature!!

I read every word, I liked the bit about the, " Heres Elmo " part rofl.

+rep

[:Dazza]

What a funny, gory and tragic story. O well you know what we have to do now...

"All hail the pigeons!"

[dani342us]

Awesome. I loved it. Made me laugh and at the same time be sad. Good job.