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  1. #1
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    Mar 2006
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    Default [Name Undicided]

    This is the prelude to my story which I have not named yet.

    I looked around. Blackness. Blackness everywhere I looked. How long had I been out? A couple of hours, days at the most I guessed, but that’s not what I was worrying about. I was worrying about how to get out of here. I couldn’t remember anything, then it all started coming back to me…


    You don't like me
    Chances are I don't like you.

  2. #2

    Default

    Very good, but i've spotted a grammar mistake. Instead of writing: "I looked around. Blackness." you could change it to: "I looked around...blackness" or: "I looked around; blackness."

  3. #3
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    Ok Only writing because message is too short


    You don't like me
    Chances are I don't like you.

  4. #4
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    Default

    It would be inappropriate to use a semi-colon here because the second clause is not adverbial or complementary. It also would not be used in place of a subordinating conjunctive (a conjunction used to link one clause to another if the second clause cannot stand on its own independantly). You could however use the ellipsis (...) or a normal colon. I would personally go with the former.
    Try everything once, even the things you don't think you'll like.

  5. #5
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    Default

    Hm i like it. I wonder what the story will be like.


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