Do's and Don'ts in the Pubs [Watching World Cup]

[paradox]

DO:

-Stand next to the FITTEST GIRL in the bar as you'll have to hug the nearest person should England score.

-Clap all subs on and off. Apart from OWEN HARGREAVES when it's customary to launch in to full panto Booing.

-Wait until your mate goes to the loo before getting everyone else to cheer wildly, causing him to rush back out just in time to see a throw-in but sporting a massive WET PATCH.

-When an opponent hoofs it to row Z shout "AAAARGHHHHH". Or when Jermaine Jenas starts to warm up.

-Say "Blimey, GABBY LOGAN'S looking a bit ropey these days" whenever ITV presenter Jim Rosenthal appears.

DONT'S:

-Stand next to the NUTTER whose face is painted in Scotland's colours.You're only asking for trouble.

-Stand next to the FAT, SWEATY bloke, as when you inevitably jump and shout and hug, you shall be drenched with this musky Bodily Odour of an obese middle aged man.

-Go to the LOO at Halftime without taking armbands. Leave it until an Italian goes down "injured" which should give you a good 10 minutes.

-Attempt to get a chorus of "SWING LOW SWEET CHARIOT" going during games.

-TRY and get TACTICAL by shouting "We've got to start working the channels and winning the secong ball." Sven doesn't bother so why should you?

-Shout midway through the secong half "Anyone mind if I turned it over for Today's CRUCIAL COUNTDOWN CONUNDRUM?"

lol I thought it was quite funny myself. :p

[Smiddy]

That was in a paper wasn't it? :p

I remember reading it before

[jordzit]

Lol they're pretty good.

[Viking]

lol, they made me chuckle.

[Mr.Kylee]

-Stand next to the FITTEST GIRL in the bar as you'll have to hug the nearest person should England score.

Like they will score

[Wayne]

Shout midway through the secong half "Anyone mind if I turned it over for Today's CRUCIAL COUNTDOWN CONUNDRUM?"

Lmao at that. Rather funny list. ;P

[ilovejordan]

Like they will score

go die ;[

[DMB-Hosting]

Lol :p pretty funny i agree qith the hargreaves one. He sucks