Emotions Lossed

[lukeisok]

My Poem,

This Is My Poem I Made When My Parents Had A Row,

I Felt Really Worried.

My Parents Fighting
My Anger Lighting
My Emotion Lossed
My Feeling Tossed

My Parents Rowing
My Mood Is Scowling
My Emotion Lossed
My Feeling Tossed

My Parents Screaming
My Fear Breathing
My Emotion Lossed
My Feeling Tossed
Has It Stopped?

[Bradd-Aaron]

6/10 reapted a little not as good as the other ones but i loved it

[lukeisok]

It's Meant To Repat It A Style Of Peom Writing I Like

[Bradd-Aaron]

No Probs

[lukeisok]

No Problemo,

And Improvements Please Tell Me

[Bradd-Aaron]

It should flow like My Daddy Murded me fits in really good but yours dosnt really try work on that

[lukeisok]

Lol,

I Tried That I Hated It,

Thanks For trying thouigh

[-JT-]

to be honest i think poems shouldn't be "touched up" because when you write them, thats your true emtion however upton a "touch up" you tend to make it just look better without it being truthfull.

[lukeisok]

Well Said

This Came From the Bottum Of My Heart

[ramjet]

nice n emotional 8/10