Ok,
i am writing this because i need to tell someone, about 40 minutes ago i started crying and to be honest its just got too much, now your thinking that ... oh just another perosn whos found depression but i found it years ago
of course its related to relationships
when i was 14 i had a girlfriend called laura. , laura meant the world to me but she did the following,
- we went out for nine months.. maybe 10 this all happened 3 years ago...
first of all.. he told me she had a mental condition.. several times i had texts at 2 am telling me her parrens weregetting her put in te hosptial . (she had lots of cuts down her arm)
she also cheated on me several times with random stories like
'this guy forced me to kisss him and slipped his email into my pocket' of which i yelled at the person and threatened to kill them
laura was sex obsessed i must add
one time she told me i was dumped, finshed with... several hours later ( begging of course because i find it hard to leave people i really just want to love someone)
she would have me back, she later explained to me that she had a guy downstairs, once she dumped me she went downstairs ... had sex with him came back iup and asked me out again .... that night i recieved a text from her phone from her parrents saying she had killed herself .. or rather tried and was going to hosptial... and that she lovd me... the net day we met up.. and i stole her suicidenote form her bag without her knowing i was mentioned on it of course, the guy she cheated on me with was on it and so was another guy who i hated... she played kissing games with him and i just wanted to kill him
a month on from this i learn that she went out with me for a joke to beguin with but now 'liked me' a week after that ilearned she planned to ditch me by christmas...
few months on she told me she was pregnent, i paniced of course saying test his go to the docotor... abortion this, abortion that .. i wanted the thing gone my problems gone
i hate myself for this know the idea of killing someting like that
finally, when it came to the end of the relationship she was constantly telling me she hated me andcheating on me.. the thing that ended it was somthing lie this
she spent ore time with other boyz , or rather theese 2 boys both had crush's on her.. i told her to choose me or them and she choose them loads of times, one time i got so stressed at her so paniced i threw her to te ground.. which i instantly told her i was sorry for ...
a few days later she got one of the boys to attack me on the way home with a metal chair leg
what you need to no about this is the following she faked it all.
sh was never pregenent she lied to me , she nevr had a mental condition , she lied .. he never cheated on me she lied, she never tried killing herself SHE LIED!!!
EVERYTHING A LIE!!!
i talked to her about 2 month ago and she told me it was all a joke to her
next is a gf called nikki
the basics behind her was she told me she hated me everyday and dumped me once aweek
the reason i'm telling you this is i find it hard to talk about it and never been able to tell people without trusting them to the full
i want to tell you this not for attension but because i just need to let it out, i need to tell smoene, i need to get it out my system and over the last year i've writtent this a thousand times and never clicked submit
ive put this in health and tips because maybe you can tell me the simple bit of advice that can make it all better. i've never seeked any help and i have cut myself before ...
recently ive met a girl called sian, shes on this forum and lives in the same town as me and she means the world tome, i don't thinks he knows how mich she means to me
i spose i'm treating this more like a blog thenanything but i wanted people to no and i don't want them to judge me and to be honest after spending around an hour crying this morning i thought i should tell people,
i'd like to add that i'm always smiles, i never let problems hurt me , i brush them off, i always try making my friends smile and be happy, friends i lost after laura told them i raped her and to be honest its finally dawnd on me that maybe i'm pretending it never happened
so overall habboxers... thats me or rather the edited highlights
Thread moved by Nixt (Forum Moderator): from "Health Tips and Advice" as it actually has nothing to do with Health.
Thread moved by 8Freak8: from "Teen Life".





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