Two poems// Lost Love// Last Laugh

[FrozenWhisper]

This is a simple poem to understand so I wont explain

Lost Love

Tears well up as I think of you,
Thinking of everything we've been through,
All the memories, the good and the bad,
And how everything makes me think of you,

Remember when we first met?
You tripped up and at the sink I got wet,
Are we just going to throw it away now?
I just want you here to hold me tight.

Thinking of you everyday and night,
I want you back, can I tell you and other way?
Send you roses, a card to bring you a smile,
Would you come back? The light of my life,

How did this happen? How did you go?
Now I'm mopping around missing you bad,
Feeling dark, full of despair,
Mourning our love, now we lost it.


Last Laugh is about a girl who was bullied then had a great life.

Last Laugh

Trapped and alone, feeling so tired,
Thoughts of hatred, distrust, disbelief,
Thoughts darker than the darkest nights,
They love to hate, hate to love.

Cold mist of confusion, rain to blood,
Words meant to discomfurt, shivers down the spine,
Hair raising moments, but there just fine,
It will always be my skin, never theirs.

Cruel memories, frightful past,
Lasting hatred, thoughts of dispair,
Maybe I'm different, geek, freak, loser,
I'm not like them, I don't fit in.

Rich future, plenty of jobs,
Fast cars, big house, great friends,
Found true love hope it never ends,
Guess I finally got the last laugh

[DiscoPat]

I like it, first one 7/10 seccond 6/10

[FrozenWhisper]

Anyway I can improve it?

[velvet]

They're both great, but in the first poem in the second stanza the lines
'Remember when we first met?
You tripped up and at the sink I got wet,'
Take the seriousness out of the poem in my opinion.

[Glitter]

I agree with above. It sorta makes it sound slightly random.. How about something like...
Remember when we fist met?
The times we kissed under the sunset?

Or something like that?

[FrozenWhisper]

I agree with above. It sorta makes it sound slightly random.. How about something like...
Remember when we fist met?
The times we kissed under the sunset?

Or something like that?

Ok, tbh it was late, I'll change it when I'm done with my boyfriends Valentine's prezzie

[Carlos]

Nicely written