[Poem] When daddy comes to hurt me

[-=rooty987=-]

I sit there alone,
Waiting for my daddy to come home.
My eyes are swollen,
My innocence stolen.
Footsteps sound,
I sit still – don’t make a sound.
He opens the door,
He has me for sure.
Why is my daddy so mad?
What have I done that’s that bad?
My Mummy watches with tears,
Watches in fear.
He shouts at me ugly things,
While I sit doing nothing.
He still shouts at me words that r unspoken,
My bones nearly broken.
“I’m sorry” I scream,
I wish it was just all a dream.
When daddy comes to hurt me.

Apparently, some people have heard somethign like it. but its original!
By Me
Took a while though.

My age : 12

[Pulchritudinous]

That is pretty good, but it's a bit predictable, and you should probably make the language more formal, but it's coming from the voice of a child, so the language isn't really a problem.

[-=rooty987=-]

It is written in perspective of a younge girl.

[Jinxxed]

That touched me...

[Janumz]

You told me that on msn..
Its really good..
Its sad.. but unfortunatly true

[Steph]

I've had that in an email...same lines and everything but just longer

[lukeisok]

Yeh Me 2.

Also,

How was her innocents stolen?

[the wombats]

because she had done nothing wrong, her dad just beat her up for nothing

[Convictions]

I like it, its creative, 10/10

[-=rooty987=-]

And no, they are not the same lines as the oen in the emails.. that was sent out AGES ago,

I made it up myself