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Thread: An old poem

  1. #1
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    Default An old poem

    I don't know if I have posted this one before, I looked back and I don't think I did. I wrote this years and years ago when I had no muse, but still.
    I hide under my duvet
    I don’t come out
    I can hear them shouting
    But what about?

    I can hear screaming and smashing
    Plates being broken
    Dads voice booming
    Mum being choken

    I cry myself to sleep
    Afraid I'll be next
    Mum comes to comfort
    She does her best

    I see her eyes are swollen
    They look so bad
    Blood runs down her face
    I feel so sad

    I hear dad rumble
    He's near my door
    But mum stops him
    So he beats her to the floor

    The ending doesn't seem right but I can't think of anything. Thanks, please comment.
    Do you want Pie?

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by PigsNose View Post
    I don't know if I have posted this one before, I looked back and I don't think I did. I wrote this years and years ago when I had no muse, but still.
    I hide under my duvet
    I don’t come out
    I can hear them shouting
    But what about?

    I can hear screaming and smashing
    Plates being broken
    Dads voice booming
    Mum being choken

    I cry myself to sleep
    Afraid I'll be next
    Mum comes to comfort
    She does her best

    I see her eyes are swollen
    They look so bad
    Blood runs down her face
    I feel so sad

    I hear dad rumble
    He's near my door
    But mum stops him
    So he beats her to the floor

    The ending doesn't seem right but I can't think of anything. Thanks, please comment.
    Yeah, the ending is a little blunt. See if you can work on that a little.

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