Finally going to admit something

[Fez]

So I have something to admit, something to clear out of my mind and get off my chest. I have a deep depression.

Find it strange? Hell I do, I can't admit it to anyone, I'm not scared no... it's just they wouldn't believe me since I'm usually so happy and jolly, I use it as an invisibility cloak. I have no friends anyway...

So why am I depressed? Well let's just review the last 4 weeks of my life, now that I finally have the guts to admit them.

• My friends hide behind a coward - Mattew
• Mattew begins to toy with me, spreading rumours and such
• My grades begin to increase (this strangely happens when I'm sad)
• My great grandfather get's lung cancer (RIGHT ON MY BIRTHDAY)
• The Year Group Manager wants me and Mattew to go on a truce, Mattew hasn't got the guts to ask me so I ask him and he just laughs. Anger begins once more
• I lose more of my friends
• I begin to go in early at School, very early, I blame it on having to see my mentor. When clearly I am avoiding the coward and his blind friends
• I start to stay in at break and lunch, I did odd jobs for the libarian and found comfort in books and English, I began to write again.
• Now my friend asked why I don't go outside, he said it's because ''I'm scared of getting beaten up by Matty''
• Quite a good point, my closest friend (Nathaneal) becomes mature and gains a point of philosophy, I begin this new friendship very well
• BIG MOTHER OF A HELL TURNING POINT - I am put in the learning difficulty class, the LSU, for low confidence and low self esteem.
• The girl I have a crush on somehow obtains my messanger, a new friend awaits (and moar?)
• Now the thing that's got me rock bottom, Mattew begins threats and my Grandad goes into hopsital (he is fine now, but his heart can go BOOM at anytime)

Alright, got that? If you haven't then I don't care, I just needed to get all this off my chest and then I can just let it out more, I'm going to ask my Learning Mentor for an hours long meeting. I just needed to get this off my chest so I can now fly it away to anyone I want

Thank you.

[today]

harddd.
But most of it just seems friends hating others, it happens move on, hard mayb but you should

& sorry about the great grandad tho. ):

[Fez]

Move on? With who?

Basically everybody considers the coward a hero and me just some old junkyard piece.
I cannot find comfort with anybody except Nathaneal now. I do know it is not how many friends that matters, but the quality of them, and how they understand you.

Nathaneal does all these things, but he has some problem and he can only come in rarely.

[jesus]

sorry to hear that

things can only get better ey?

[Camy]

I had this problem for a while aswell, not anything to do with stayin in or anything, but the people i thought were my friends, spread rumours about me, and constantly threatend me.i didnt want to get new friends cos of what they might think or say, nd was feeling really alone and stuff, but i started talkin to ppl i thought i hated, but it turns out they were reli cool, nd my best friends now...
Hmm

This mattew or w.e. seems like a waste of space, just tell him u want nothin to do with him and u want him to stay away
Good luck with the girl, nd im srry about ur grandad but theres nothin u can do about that.

Just forget about them! and move on

[Fez]

You sound like Nathaneal

I'm just gonna let everything out on Monday, my teacher will have a private talk with me and I'll just get all the support I really need.

[efq]

Our school has a center 33

Its a support building, find your local one and they'll help you.

[lAdmire]

Maybe you should see a psychologist. I think you said you have before? Like you need to try & sort these problems out. Or everyday, try & do something that you really enjoy that makes you happy. This can probably bring up your confidence, happiness, etc. So like psychologist & something fun. Basically, that's my advice.

[CJW93]

Its better to let it all out. It take alot of guts to admit somthing like that the way you have. Sorry to hear about your Grandad hope the meating goes well and the girl

[Cwmbran]

First off - |Admire he does not need to see a psychologist, he just needs someone to talk too and it looks like he has found this in this Nathaneal.

Can I ask why you consider this Matthew to be a Coward, and what have your friends that now "hide behind" him have done?

Also have you tried talking to your old friends about this, if you haven't then I suggest you do - Ask them if your still friends, maybe approach the person who you felt most comfortable with and ask him/her about the situation.

If your old friends say something negative or don't care then they obviously were not good friends and did not value you as a friend, your best bet is to hang around with this Nathaneal when ever you can. Also you mentioned that he is not in school all the time, then try and be-friend some new people.

Back to this Matthew your best bet is to just ignore him, if you decided to speak about the situation with your old friends and they didn't say anything negative then approach them in school wether or not this Matthew is there and just ignore him, if he speaks interupt him. If he tries to start a conversation with one of your friends start talking to that person before he gets too deep into a conversation.